Beyonce’s Probably Fake Pregnant Again

Posted by Photo Boy

Like any great illusionist, Beyonce is a master of misdirection. Remember when she secretly incanted Illuminati spells instead of singing the national anthem at our Secret Muslim Dear Leader’s second inauguration? Well, now she’s pretending her doctors have ordered her to cancel shows, which she knows will jumpstart the pregnancy rumors, but I’m calling it now this is all just an elaborate ruse for some type of heist. People reports:

In an email to The Associated Press, the singer’s publicist says Beyoncé has been advised by her doctors to rest. She was scheduled to perform at the Sportpaleis in Antwerp. The show will be rescheduled and tickets can be used at that show.

Antwerp, huh? Keep that in mind the next time you guys are all like, “Holy shit, look, her baby bump just fold in half!” because ALAKAZAM *Diamond Bank disappears* WHO RUN THE WORLD?!!

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