Beyonce’s Ovaries Work

October 20th, 2010 // 26 Comments

Full Disclosure: Sometimes I entirely forget Beyonce and Jay-Z still exist, so this report was a surprise to me on an entirely different level. At any rate, Us Weekly is reporting the couple are expecting a baby, and unlike the dozen other times this was rumored, Solange Knowles essentially confirmed the news:

“B was shocked. She loves kids, but she wasn’t ready to be a mother just yet,” says a source of the singer, who married rapper Jay-Z in 2008. “She really wanted to get her album done and tour the world again.”
Still, another insider says that the singer, who is in her first trimester, realizes that “this is a gift from God and she’s so happy.”
…. Knowles’ sister Solange — and mom to Julez, 6 — agrees.
“She’s got the most beautiful heart,” she tells Us of her big sis. “She’ll be a great mom.”

So how does this work? Does Beyonce get all excited and starts darning baby socks like a good mother while Sasha Fierce runs around telling her to get an abortion? Or am I making a failed marketing gimmick sound more glamorous than it really is? Fine. You try and say something interesting about Beyonce. She’s like a black Carrie Underwood.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. I would like to eat her ovaries. Like little walnuts. NOM NOM.

    She’s looking pretty porky here. Needs to lose about 35 lbs to look average.

  2. RoboZombie

    Gift from God? What? Don’t these people know where babies come from? I guess not, since she was “surprised”.
    Idiots

  3. luis

    now she will really put on some weight

  4. http://usversusthem.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/1120_beyonce_ama_00-thumb.jpg

    This woman has one juicy wicked ass, im surprised this didnt happen sooner–id have been pieing her nightly those last 2 years!

  5. boo

    God, I hope the baby looks like the mother.

  6. gigi

    oooh noooo… part of the charm with these two was the hope that they wouldn’t reproduce! the hideosity factor will be off the scale! Jay-Z’s already got his cross to bear, but this chick’s magic is MAC makeup, attachable hair & round-the-clock styling staff to maintain what’s going on now! underneath all that is like the episode of the Flintstones when Dino finally saw his lady-love Sassy without all her accouterments/ now we’ve got to brace ourselves for a spawn??? oh we’ll be paying for this event for years to come…… emotionally…

  7. ZigZagZoey

    Yeah, she doesn’t have enough money….She wanted to wait to have a kid until after another album and world tour.

    How the fuck much money do you need?

    Rich people make me sick.

  8. Deacon Jones

    Beyonce hates black people

  9. You can find me on Facebook

    Way to go Solange Knowles…you are a talentless nobody, with nothing going on in your life..Raining on your sister’s news..

    I hope the baby looks like Beyonce, and nothing like Jay-Z..can you say fugly?

  10. Mike Walker

    Here’s a picture of how the baby is expected to look:

    http://i.imgur.com/8Y6CR.jpg

  11. El Dude

    Here is the full color sonogram:
    http://swa43.com/Files/Images/ugly_monkey.jpg

  12. Stephanie

    It’s foolish to announce a pregnancy so soon. Unless a public outpouring of sympathy after a miscarriage is what this ugly fake chick wants. Embarrassing.

  13. I really don’t see how a baby is going to be able to fit between those thighs.

  14. Ninny

    “B is shocked”, “she wasn’t ready to be a mother just yet”, “she really wanted to get her album done and tour the world again”, “this is a gift from God” = “waaaay too stupid to use birth control”

  15. Katy Perry is Trash

    That is going to be one ugly baby, that will grow up to be a superficial and materialistic idiot.

  16. Beyonce Pregnancy Reports
    Caroline Moura Vasconcelos
    Commented on this photo:

    Ela não é tão glamourosa como parece em seus clipes, ela é muito maquiada, forçada.. e supercial.o.O

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