Beyonce knows how to lose weight

August 16th, 2006 // 190 Comments

To lose 20 pounds for her latest movie role, Beyonce reportedly used the “maple syrup” diet which consists of mixing maple syrup with water, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper and drinking it as a daily meal replacement. A dietician who works with the British group Weight Concern says:

“The problem is not what’s in the diet but what’s not. There are no fats, proteins, vitamins or minerals and the only carbohydrate is in the form of sugar… People would start to feel very lethargic and would be unable to concentrate… They will probably end up in hospital, especially people who try it for more than 10 days.”

Sounds pretty healthy to me. Although I’ve got my own version of the maple syrup diet. It goes a little something like this. You don’t get all the nutrients of Beyonce’s version, but boy does it go down smooth.


  1. jrzmommy

    loser, game over….what the fuck DanYELL the cunt, are you some kind of video game nerd?

  2. Wanna Pet My Beaver?

    @149…Um reality porn show? Porn is reality. My reality anyway.

    And nope, long dark hair, pajamas as its my day off, no shoes, and a nice straight set of teeth.

    BTW, I thought you were leaving?

  3. Wanna Pet My Beaver?

    @149…You know DanYELL, I’m really starting to resent all your racial stereotypes. You think just cos I’m white I live in a trailer and have no teeth? That’s just the kind of racial stereotype us whites have been fighting for centuries.

    If you notice, in my posts to you nowhere do I call you a Aunt Jemima looking-fried chicken eating-grape soda drinking-unemplyed welfare collecting-4 kids by 4 different baby daddies-kinky haired-ashy cocoa butter using-big gummed-big lipped-fat assed-crack smoking-40 oz drinking-project living-black.

    Now do I?

    No. Because I am above that.

  4. RichPort

    damnYELL… you’re KILLING me… I can’t stop laughing, my sides, my sides…

    juuuust kidding, haven’t even cracked a smile. NEXT!

  5. Wanna Pet My Beaver?

    Wow SuperFish nice banning my comments and leaving DanYELL’s as there’s obviously nothing “abusive” about hers. Dick.

  6. andrewthezeppo

    This story is MONTHS old, she already lost and gained back the weight. She lost it for the movie Dream Girls because for whatever reason she had to be skinnier to play a singer…because clearly there is no way she could be a singer at her normal size, no way she could sell millions of albums and concert tickets looking the way she normally does.

  7. Ems is da Shizz

    when her solo album first came out I was kind of disgusted by the size of her thighs, but now she looks really good and healthy not at all like nicole richie. keep it up!

  8. Ems is da Shizz

    when her solo album first came out I was kind of disgusted by the size of her thighs, but now she looks really good and healthy not at all like nicole richie. keep it up!

  9. danielle

    seriously, that was SO original..BEAVER. i mean really. CONGRATULATIONS! how long did it take for you to come up with that stereotypical analysis? your IQ must be, what?….a negative 0? or am i setting the bar TOO high?

    reminder: i wasn’t the first one to make a racial slur on here, it was your dumbass.

    but since you want to go down that road…ahhh here we go:

    notice how I didn’t call U a: sourmilk smelling, fake n’ bake tan wearing, beer stained teeth having, small ass titties saggin’, flat butt botox filled stripper pole worker, stringy greased hair having..hobag. i could go on, but arguing with you is like arguing with a mentally challenged sea creature…get lost.

    JRZMOMMY, or whatever your diseased ass goes by these days. what are you, like obsessed with the word cunt? was that the word used by your doctor when you were yanked from your nother’s seafood hole? geesh. if you ask me, you should legally change your real name to cunt. i mean, seeing as though you’re obssesed with it and all. just a suggestion. FAT KIDS CAMP? hmmm. are we drawing from past memories? is that why you’re on here, you pathetic excuse for a human being?

    it’s not my fault you have low self-esteem. go make a friend at the zoo, jump off a bridge,anything but speak. you’re worthless. move on.

    and last but certainly not least.

    RICHPORT, i saved your ass 4 last….i mean since you are the slowest of the bunch. i’m so glad to hear that i didn’t cause you to crack a smile. i mean, i kinda knew i wouldn’t..seing as though you crack your legs, your mouth, your ass… every second for a stranger to eneter in. i guess you would be sore to crack anything else. sorry you can’t enjoy laughing these days. i hope you feel better.

  10. danielle

    oh, i forgot something.

    BEAVER: your dumbass hasn’t been fighting any racial slurs for cernturies.

    if anything, you retards have been stealing.
    confused? you should be since, i dunno, WE’VE done YOUR work, and your asses reap the benefit, WE’VE come up and have been successful, and YOU idiots make unfair laws and rules to set US back..i could go on for days.

    so here’s to you, thieves out there, CONGRATS!

  11. Ems is da Shizz

    angry black women scare me :( btw negative 0 isn’t a number ya foo

  12. danielle

    notice: ems is da shizz…?

    i wasn’t talking to you.

    and duh… i know negative 0 isn’t a number, i was making a point about the IQ of a fellow typer.

    i don’t have to explain myself you ghetto broad. stay out of my conversations.

  13. RichPort

    #163 – Don’t fear Black women that way… this one’s just an asshole. The funniest thing about her is the fact that she continues to reply, not the actual replies themselves. She probably talks like a white girl.

    damnYELL, I’m glad you saved your greatest ire for me because it adds much needed breaks of hilarity in my otherwise busy day. And no, I still won’t hump you. You’re about as convincing a tough guy as Federfuck is a rapper, only not nearly as funny.

  14. danielle

    don’t get your panties in a bunch you sorry excuse for human. (african-american) women are no different from you deformed rejects.. except for the fact that you’re deformed, smell, ugly, stupid, poor, reatarded…okay i’ve said enough.

    and richport, seriously…it’s like you jack off to being on here. if anyone replies to comments like an internet whore wannabe, it’s your ass.

    go get a job so you can support your alcoholic grotesque family that lives in the graveyard next to K-mart..hey! you should pick up an application! are you that lazy?

  15. RichPort

    I’m pretty sure you’re not from Nigeria, Botswana, or Namibia, therefore the term ‘African-American’ is both erroneous and filled with duplicity. If you’d like to hyphenate yourself, try ASS-HOLE. You bougie Black chicks, full of self loathe and looking for the next gangsta to validate their street cred, are really sad, but very funny. And of course by funny, I mean ridculously tiring. Beyonce would never act this way! I’m sure you run around your family trying to convince them how ‘African-American’ they are, but they look at your Bryant Gumbel ass and say, uh, no, I’m Black. Because we all know you’re only ‘African-American’ around white folks. Moron.

  16. danielle

    I wouldn

  17. RichPort

    I’m not white you fucking bougie idiot, but you certainly keep taking the bait. The next time I need a history lesson from a 16 year old, I’ll look you up, you wikipedia addict. Until then, you can pretend to know racism and pretend it affects your generation the way it did mine. I am well aware of the etymology of the phrase, you unhumpable moron.

  18. Shakin

    The Master Cleanse (aka lemonade or maple syrup diet) has PLENTY of vitamins and minerals, and is one of the healthiest things someone can do for themselves. I did it for 10 days and felt great the entire time. I know people who have done it for 40 days and safely lost over 50 lbs. Good for Beyonce.

  19. danielle

    please grow up and stop acting like a trashy slut 5 year old.

    i’m not going to explain my heritage to your ignorant as anymore, okay? you don’t know me, i don’t know you…thank god.

    i’m not 16…maybe you are. if anyone is bougie…its your ass. you aren’t white? hmmmm. then what the hell are you. or are you an IT…i don’t give a shit.

    YOU can pretend to know racism. i have well enough experienced it, not that you care. i AGAIN, dont have to prove anyting to you.

    as far as im concerned, you can go a get hit by a bus for all i care. and dont preach to me about (taking bait). your just an idiot who likes to agitate people to draw the blame from yourself. get lost you pathetic, worthless whore.

    *game over*

  20. RichPort

    #171 – Somehow, I think you’ll cuntinue. That’s what angry people do. They go on and on. You haven’t experienced racism, you’ve experienced people bigoted toward idiocy. To call people racists for hating idiots is a misnomer. Funny how all of this started because your idiot self decided to scream about how Beyonce shouldn’t lose weight (since you obviously hate white chicks) and you piss everyone off (Black and other) because you post the same inane comments over and over. Then when everyone tells you to shut the fuck up, you start screaming that everyone is racist, when no one even knew that you were an embarassment to Black folks everywhere. But I do pity you, it must suck to be the only person at the family reunion who had to act white to get a job, when every other hard working member of your family just whispers as you walk by. Oh, did I call you a bitch yet? NO??? BIIIIIIITCH.

  21. danielle

    Somehow I think YOU will continue. Let

  22. RichPort

    I was (am) right. Idiot.

  23. danielle

    right, idiot. congratulations.

  24. jrzmommy

    …Thus bringing to a close yet another chapter in DanYELL the Cunt’s lifestory, “Babble: A Collection of Mind-Numbing and Annoying Rants from a Prepubescent Outcast.”

  25. danielle

    thus bringing to a close the herpes infected mouth of jrzMAmmY the douchebag’s lifestory, “I Wish I Were Dead: A Story of Low-Life’s Journey to Attention Land, Where Everyone Cares About Bigot’s Opinions”.

  26. jrzmommy

    DanYELL, do you think you could at least attempt to come up with one original thing instead of regurgitating and filling-in-the-blanks of what someone else has already said? Or, maybe try starting off slow with forming a coherent sentence. Let’s begin with that….try to post something that might make sense to the rest of us who don’t need psychotropics to quiet the hum of the voices in their heads. Because that last comment in 177 was utterly undecipherable. I think I understood you called me a douchebag and then…..I got lost.

  27. danielle

    i guess it wouldn’t make sense to someone who has the life span of a tomato. by the way, when are you planning on dying anyway? i thought sea creatures were only supposed to live up to a year and then dry up. damn, you got lucky.

  28. jrzmommy

    good luck in 9th grade this year, DanYELL. now run outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.

  29. danielle

    yeah, i’ll be sure to wish YOU good luck in the 2nd grade as i’m waving to your pathetic ass on my way to my 3rd year in college. good luck learning to form sentences, as you can certainly not form them at this present time.

  30. RichPort

    Jrzmommy, it’s always those idiot college kids who think they know everything because as they stare googly-eyed at their favorite professors and are slowly indoctrinated, they don’t realize that real opinions about life come through experience. damnYELL the cunt keeps taking the bait, because she’s a fucking idiot. Seriously, I’d like to kick her in the juicebox, but I wore nice shoes today. Now you’re a fucking funny chick. This bitch is tired and annoying, a wannabe Farrakanita. She alternately types in caps then lower case, incoherently, then when you think she has a point, she just acts like an asshole again.

  31. danielle

    rocke a bye baby on the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock, when the bow breaks the cradle will fall, and down will come baby..cradle and all.

  32. jrzmommy

    Rich–judging by the post # 183, I think this one stares at the sun without blinking…catch my drift?

  33. RichPort

    LOL.. I think you’re right.

  34. danielle

    as i thought, the idiots take the bait once again!

    what a bunch of losers! i fear for your offspring.

  35. RichPort

    Good night damnYELL. Did I call you a bitch yet? I did??? Well here It us again. BITCH.

  36. danielle

    “here it us?” poor grammar lacking whore. your comebacks are beginning to bore me. plus, i dont feel like coming back to this old story just to bitch slap you…so game over, at least for now.

    you may now go back to doing whatever pathetic thing you were doing before i posted. “thing”, being your mother of course.

  37. RichPort

    Must be that faded Howard brochure that makes you so funny. An errant keystroke is hardly the same as such utter animosity toward all language and written skills. Thankfully, my point still came across. BITCH.

  38. that’s weird as hell, but i guess it works…

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