Beyonce Knowles has multiple personality disorder

September 21st, 2006 // 95 Comments

Beyonce Knowles tells Blender that she created an alter ego named Sasha who she turns into whenever she’s feeling doubtful about herself. She says:

“When I feel uncomfortable about something, I tell myself, ‘I’m Sasha, I’m a diva, I’m fierce, I can do it.’ And then I can. Sometimes when Beyonce slips through, I’m like ‘Hold up, come back!’ Sasha protects me. It’s a good way to keep sane.”

Yes, creating imaginary characters in your head is definitely the best way to keep sane. I’ve got this dude named Clifford in my head. He tells me to cut people. Without him I don’t know what I’d do. Maybe lead a normal life of not cutting people? Fuck that. Clifford knows what’s up. He’s got my back and that’s why he’s my bestest friend in all the world.


  1. #49 And in a couple more years after your couple of years after my couple of years, (what’s that six years all told?) much to everyones exultation, he’ll be dust!

  2. Ron K

    This is so 2003.

    But I guess because I’m Crazy In Love, I knew this already.

  3. EazyE

    Reminds me of Anne Heche’s alter ego Celestia. Or was that the planet she believed she was from? Man, I wish that woman would start taking drugs and being a total fruitcake again.

  4. jrzmommy

    51–And then someone with Elephant Man disease will buy his dust.

  5. amhi

    Bahahahha. I like this entry. Thumbs up, Superfish.

  6. clamofdeath

    Sasha’s gonna be really pissed when she catches a glimpse of her big fat ass

  7. llllllllll

    ok so let me get this straight…he’s currently in the (1)Casper stage then he enters the (2)Translucent Stage and two more “then afters” he’ll find himself in the (3)Dust Stage. Do I have this correct? Anyone on what his 4th stage will be?

  8. jrzmommy

    57–Stage 4 is the Karma Phase: he’ll be reincarnated as a 9-year old cancer patient who has a pedophile for a nurse….Karma is a real motherfucker.

  9. llllllllll

    He’ll probably come back as a Mr. Potato Head or he’ll be Grim’s replacement from Grim and Mandy…They have a striking facial resemblance

  10. ch474

    Now starring in the hip hop version of Cinderella and her ugly step sisters …

  11. #54- jrzmommy, I’m laughing hard here!

  12. jrzmommy

    61-Brain Embolism-glad I could help! I almost typed Brian Embolism.

  13. @58 on 57- Then he’ll pedophile HIMSELF.

    And speaking of karma, (see post 58) there is an all new “My Name Is Earl” and “The Office” on tonight.

  14. jrzmommy

    63–And then dangle himself out of a window after he rapes himself!!
    I so cannot wait for The Office and Earl!!
    PS–Is Brian Embolism any relation to you??

  15. That is not really what we would call Multiple Personality Disorder (which is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID just FYI.

    However, I kinda know what she means. When I do public things I have to exude confidence, I just never named it. I call it “being on.”

    Sasha, huh… interesting. Maybe we should all have a more positive person we try to emulate, you know instead of acting like an ass when you try to return used underwear to a store or insisting that the two week old eggplant you bought at the grocery store should be allowed to be returned because you decided you don’t even like eggplant.

    Sorry for the rant… had an annoying week of ridiculously high maintenance people.

    Just food for thought… but maybe more people need a Sasha.

  16. Ossie19

    I can’t help but laugh my face off at the chick on the right. I think she is moments away from eating Beyonce either that or she is suffering from constipation.

  17. nc72

    So this isn’t Beyonce, this is Sashe with her come hither and take me look right?

  18. nc72

    Ooops I meant Sasha…

  19. Samuel L. Jackson

    Oh ok. So it probably is SASHA who fired all those women, broke up Destiny’s Child, and is having ugly sex with that monkey lookin’ Jay Z. That explain everything. I always thought Beyonce had better sense and now I have been proven right. DAMN YOU SASHA DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

  20. @64- You must’ve sensed something.
    Brian Embolism is my Multiple Personality Disorder (which is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) (DID). Thanks to #65 for setting me straight.

  21. gotcha

    I think that one of her personalities has a borderline personality disorder. thats the one that is in control. has she been hanging with tom cruise or something??

  22. Eye-Dish Lass

    Did I effing get this right?! Someone names BEYONCE (with the squiggly, meanlingless french language accent mark on the effing last E) needs to change her name (errrr, and personality?) to Sasha to ensure someone named BEYONCE is a diva?! Is this the same BEYONCE who all but makes the other girls in Destiny’s Chew-rens look like nothing but extra’s? The same chick who refers to herself as TOO BOOTYLICIOUS? OK, just checking. Glad she at least is not pretentious….especially not with a clothing line coming out called “House of Dereon.” C’mon now – get the f outta here and get some Popeyes fried gizzards. Thanks for keepin’ it real Saaaaaaaaaasha!

  23. Eye-Dish Lass

    Shakira looks great…..but a bit too pale.

  24. fat ugly girl with frizzy curly hair

    is that sasha on the right side or left? I see her too!

  25. Dory

    She only admitted to one alter ego but everyone can see she’s got more than one… theres beyonce, sasha, shakira, wonder if theres one called Frank?

  26. That looks like bench full of TNB!

  27. ^^ Ignorant racist fuck. You are the lowest form of life on this planet, and I kindly invite you to shove your useless piece of shit blog up your hate-filled ass.

    Fucking redneck scumbag.

  28. 77- Angry Ferret, dude you went ballistic on that KKK, white supremacist asshat. You came out “with both barrels” ablazin, They should hang that white hood wearing piece of formundacheese (formunda my balls) from the biggest tree branch they can find.

    Lynch him up!!

  29. Goddamn it, I have no tolerance for fuckers like that.

  30. jane's eyre

    I agree, that’s disgusting. He’s calling “Negroes” “sub-human creatures” and “animals”. I flagged his blog. I hope everyone else does too. Posting controversial material is one thing, posting plain nasty racial hatred is another.

  31. Team OJ

    Temporal insanity isn’t a prerequisite but helps when you are that hot. I forsee another time travel video a la Britney. She is the hottest she’s ever been imo.

  32. llllllllll

    #77 and your point is?

  33. 82- What are you an idiot, click on that douchebag TNB Alerts link.
    Or maybe your one of those racists fucks that needs an attitude adjustment, and by attitude adjustment, I mean a baseball bat across your skull.

    I thought you were alright on some of the other threads. Now I’m having second thoughts.

  34. llllllllll

    #83–please lets not have a BRAIN ANEURYSM over this…there are more important things going on like Michael Jacson’s Leprechauns park. We must focus on the important things

  35. llllllllll

    ok lets brighten the mood alittle in the hopes that those that are upset may at least crack a smile:………….. A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black guy standing next to him. The big guy looks down upon the small guy and says, “7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown.”
    The small guy faints!
    The big guy picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, “Are you OK? What’s wrong?”
    In a very weak voice the small guy asks, “Excuse me but what did you say?”
    The big guy says, “When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I’d give you the answers to the same questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, weigh 350 pounds, have a 20-inch penis, have a 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball and my name is Turner Brown.”
    Mike said, “Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said ‘

  36. What the hell happened??


  37. @85 – That’s the “llllllllll” we’ve come to know and love on the Fish. Not that racist vomit that was #82.

  38. llllllllll

    #87- I’m not racist my dear…that #82 you refer to was Sashakobob, not me

  39. sarakai

    I think that’s sasha sittin next to her on the right. Oooooh, she so pretty.

  40. She got a great voice but i hate her because she’s everywhere, not even Paris can be wherever Beyonc

  41. koukla_angie

    Mr man, who write all this stuff.. YOU ROCK DUDE =]

  42. AngeLee

    Okay.. she’s turning white… hmm.. i think Beyonc

  43. wow, she’s really messed up….don’t do crack

  44. Rayvonn

    Sasha does not sound like some thing of God it is a demonic spirit

  45. Jocelyn

    In psychiatric world this is called dissociative identity disorder (DID).

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