Hollyscoop claims to have exclusive information that Jay-Z now has 100 problems and a kid is one. Beyonce is reportedly pregnant which led to the clandestine nuptials in early April:
A source close to the couple revealed, “Beyonce is 100% pregnant, which is why the couple rushed their wedding.” The source also told Hollyscoop that all the friends and family that attended the ultra private wedding were all aware that Beyonce was already expecting. Our source added that Beyonce is in her early stages, but don’t expect this star to come out with a confirmation statement anytime soon…. They rushed the wedding due to Beyonce’s strong Christian beliefs.
Listen, kids, getting pregnant is no reason to get married. That’s just crazy talk. If the movie Juno has taught me anything, it’s that getting knocked up can be a hilarious, super-indie experience that’s fun for the whole family. Ha ha! Now excuse me while I duct-tape Diablo Cody’s hands back to the stripper pole before she writes again.
Sophie | May 1, 2008 at 11:10 am
What the HELL is wrong with her back??
lola | May 1, 2008 at 11:10 am
i didn’t know banana suits were all the rage for pregnant hollywood. i am so outta the loop.
Greg | May 1, 2008 at 11:14 am
Wouldn’t that be 101 problems i.e.- “99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”+his marriage to Beyonce would be the addition of said bitch+baby hova=101
Yay math!
It's me Fuckers | May 1, 2008 at 11:16 am
Hopefully her genes will overpower his fugly genes.
Jimbo | May 1, 2008 at 11:17 am
What Jay-Z does not know is that I am the father. hahahahahaha
Amber | May 1, 2008 at 11:17 am
“strong Christian beliefs…”
Not strong enough for her to wait ’till marriage to have sex!
Just sounds sorta hypocritical.
zac | May 1, 2008 at 11:18 am
How strong exactly are her christian beliefs if she’s been getting boned by a rapper for what, like three years. She probably wears skimpy clothing and shakes her ass, too. Oh, wait …
retard alert | May 1, 2008 at 11:18 am
Greg, are you kinda retarded?
the back | May 1, 2008 at 11:19 am
I think Beyonce usually looks beautiful, but the back of that dress is fugly and …I dont know, she is not looking as hot as she usually does
Seymour Butts | May 1, 2008 at 11:21 am
I thought “Strong Christian Values” meant you took it up the butt to save losing your virginity for marriage.
martino | May 1, 2008 at 11:22 am
I’ll be the source is wrong and she’s only 51% pregnant.
roger | May 1, 2008 at 11:23 am
Why do you make so much noise about those bitches at hollywood getting pregnant? what is the big deal here? if they are constantly making love with as many partners as they please, what do you expect? c’mon you guys, looks like you have nothing interesting to post anymore…
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | May 1, 2008 at 11:23 am
I would uh oh-uh oh- uh oh uh oh, all over her back…..
nipolian | May 1, 2008 at 11:24 am
The back fat never lies.
retard alert | May 1, 2008 at 11:24 am
13. how creative.
Wim | May 1, 2008 at 11:24 am
Wow that’ one lucky kid – he/she will look like Joe Camel with a huge fat ass.
English Bob | May 1, 2008 at 11:28 am
Mmmmmm, roger you sound a bit on the feminine side, not a girl posting as a man are you ??? The words ‘Bitter’ and ‘Jealous’ come to mind…….
Kimberwulf | May 1, 2008 at 11:28 am
Lets hope it looks like the mother
retard alert | May 1, 2008 at 11:30 am
17. in your post, the words predictable and lame come to mind.
retart alert | May 1, 2008 at 11:33 am
Hey everybody look at me!
I’m trying to point out the obvious!
Is it working?
Does the retart reference work?
Hard work this is……
Full Up | May 1, 2008 at 11:34 am
19. In your post the words are right their at the top man….RETARD…..ALERT……
coffeebean | May 1, 2008 at 11:34 am
@18 Don’t they all look the same?
fygu | May 1, 2008 at 11:35 am
#16 my thoughts exactly. Also, who really gives half a shit?
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | May 1, 2008 at 11:35 am
#15 – Really, do you really think so? Or are you just patronizing me? I mean, your approval means so much to me. So don’t pull on my heart strings because I might just snap. And then I just get corny. And we swouldn’t want that.
retard alert | May 1, 2008 at 11:35 am
Took you guys long enough.
papadukes | May 1, 2008 at 11:35 am
she should have waited for the flogging bruises on her back to heal before putting on that dress
English Bob | May 1, 2008 at 11:36 am
Probably not a retard No. 21, just an attention seeking loser….
ph7 | May 1, 2008 at 11:40 am
Fine human specimen.
Harry Ballzack | May 1, 2008 at 11:40 am
HAHAHAHAHAHA ………….. They had to glue the back of her dress to her ass !!
Anexio | May 1, 2008 at 11:45 am
….and the happy dad, Josef Fritzl, couldn’t be more proud of his little girl.
OUT!
A fan of rap music | May 1, 2008 at 11:47 am
Yo!! When is shorty droppin’?
bootlips | May 1, 2008 at 11:50 am
She dressed like a banana to attract Jay-Z.
FRIST!!! | May 1, 2008 at 11:58 am
We’ve got to find a way to keep n i g g e r s from multiplying.
::roll:: | May 1, 2008 at 12:04 pm
#32 and 33 are reasons why the human species are still so close-minded and ignorant…
FRIST!!! | May 1, 2008 at 12:04 pm
#33 hey stupid, get your own name. I am not racist. I hate everyone equally..
veggi | May 1, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Her eyes are freakin me out. It’s like she props forks in em at night.. or maybe they’re just trying to reach back up to those eyebrows..
Isabel | May 1, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I DONT THINK SHE IS PREGNANT! WHAT RUSH?? THEY ARE SUCH A LONG TIME TOGETHER. AND MEDIA WRITES SINCE 2 YEARS THAT THEY ARE MARRIED AND SHE IS PREGNANT.SO I DONT BELIEVE IT.
SHE WILL GET HUGE WHEN SHE WILL BE PREGNANT.LOOK AT HER RIGHT NOW. BUT I LOVE HER MUSIC I LOVE HOW SHE DANCES,SHE COULD BE NICER BUT YOU KNOW SHE IS A DIVA.
lisa | May 1, 2008 at 12:21 pm
#32—that is hilarious.
retard alert | May 1, 2008 at 12:22 pm
should have saved all my retard alert comments for you Isabel.
mamadough | May 1, 2008 at 12:27 pm
wow, between beyonce and jaime lynn’s “strong christian beliefs”, no wonder the bible west is so strict and afraid their whore daughters are going to be influenced by the tiniest thing and get knocked up…
mamadough | May 1, 2008 at 12:28 pm
* #40, fuck! midwestern bible belt
Mandy | May 1, 2008 at 12:29 pm
So why do people say Kim Kardashian is hot and not beefy Beyonce?
jrz | May 1, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Here’s what she’ll look like in few years….just give it time…
http://www.sheplaysmusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/aretha-franklin-kennedy-center-honors.jpg
Anal Fistula | May 1, 2008 at 12:37 pm
clandestine nuptials is such a great phrase…
@42…i think they’re both chubby, fwiw
Antonio | May 1, 2008 at 12:39 pm
WTF?
Michelle DD | May 1, 2008 at 12:41 pm
if she did rush the mariage because of her stron christian beleifs, does that mean Jesus will never be aware she was already pregnant ?
Chupacabra | May 1, 2008 at 12:47 pm
clandestine nipples…
anyway the BACK of that dress has a see-thru, very sheer, colorless panel, which is what holds it together. if not, it would split down the sides… much like a banana split, which ironically suits the color of the dress as well. its actually a kinda interesting design for a dress, you’d think the front neck sash, or holster would prevent the sides to fall out, but I guess she really wants the support back there. I think this may be something her mom designed… you can tell who went to Parsons and who didn’t……
Amber | May 1, 2008 at 12:48 pm
There’s nothing wrong with her back in these pictures. The open part of her dress has some weird sheer thing over it, which makes her skin look weird.
agree | May 1, 2008 at 1:03 pm
She looks beautiful. She is my favorite. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m” last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
Crazy/Beatiful/BringItOn | May 1, 2008 at 1:16 pm
@41 agree – she’s MARRIED to one. Go back to India, or picking rice or whatever it is you do to stay above the poverty level. no one needs your stupid ads here. or, unplug yourself if you are an automatically generating response machine. Please.