Beyonce, I don’t think I am ready for this jelly

November 26th, 2008 // 92 Comments

Beyonce performed on The Today Show this morning, and I don’t know sign language, but I’m pretty sure I can decipher the message being delivered here:

“Kim Kardashian, it’s on. My ghetto booty vs. your buttpad. Downtown LA. November 29. 6-8 PM. (On account of rain, butt-off will be moved indoors.) Bring a covered dish.”

Again, no sign language expert. But I think I caught the gist.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Smile

    Why would you be attracted to big ass? Answer: Because cows and horses have the same. So, to fit and be accepted, you go for big butt girls.

  2. Milf n Cookies

    #22
    I READ THE SAME STUDY! There was also a correlation with the size of the penis as well. I believe they don’t exceed 3 inches…yup, that was it.

  3. Doggy Style

    I watched up to a minute of the video, and can I tell you something? Thats shit was retarded, its no wonder why our retarded US is going down the shitter, I mean god damn you, retarded music with even more retarded dancing. The bitch looks dumb & ugly.

  4. She's half Ape what do you expect?

    God that face is ugly and the butt and thighs are mannishly large. Gross why are we living with these animals?

  5. Anonymous

    Do you mean to tell me that people actually listen to and buy this garbage?? I’m truly shocked. The music industry has gone to hell. This is tripe and she cannot sing to save her life. Total puke. Bring back real music.

  6. nastyjay

    my cock is sooo ready

  7. ccs pizza

    the white girl is a better dancer than her. it’s because beyonces FAT

  8. CaptainMorgan

    She is gross. BTW – did anyone else but me think that when she was on SNL doing the ‘dance routine’ with JT etc. that the outfit she wore made her look like a stop-motion doll from RobotChicken? Talk about overly accentuating her hips. She looked retardedly out of proportion.

    She’s really fugly too.

  9. jenny

    She is so beautiful and charming. She is my favorite. Just saw her on the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^^^^^ last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that

    site.Is she single now?

  10. Balls McCoy

    I think Beyonce is beautiful, she’s got a great body..no, it’s an amazing body, great voice, she can’t dance or act for shit but it’s okay.

  11. Smile

    Obviously, MillionaireLoving.c o m is for farm animals because where else would girls like Beyounce go? GirlyZoo. c o m stopped taking submissions long time ago.

  12. wheezer

    well that wouldn’t be my first outfit choice… but she doesn’t look half bad.

    I do have to say that is some pretty interesting choreography

  13. Aja

    Fat conceited untalented bitch with an enormously misshapen ass. pretty face though.

  14. sfssbbas

    I’m not the least bit interested in Beyonce.

    Well, OK, there is one thing. The thing I really want to do to Beyonce is throw rotten food at her, like rotten eggs and rotten tomatoes.

    I won’t do that though because:

    1.) I don’t like cruelty to animals and,
    2.) I’m afraid she might throw her feces at me.

  15. Jamie's Uterus

    I don’t get the appeal of Beyonce, she shrieks, screams and is very shrill vocally. She sounds like a bad cabaret act in a Las Vegas Hotel lounge, not a nice hotel either.

  16. NotBlonde

    1. I wonder what makes her think wearing that at 7am on a show that is frequented by soccer moms and their children is appropriate. This reminds me of Fergie’s super-sexual floor humping that she did right in the faces of literal CHILDREN. Beyonce isn’t humping the floor, but she might wanna save the spandex bodysuits until after 12:00.

    2. What is with the racists on this website? WTF? Could the Superficial writer do something about this? I understand that it’s a pain in the ass to moderate comments but jeez. I don’t want to come here and read my celebrity gossip with a dash of hateful racist comments.

  17. effyeray

    Latifa is lookin good (for Latifa), but when did she start lip-synching?

  18. momo

    gotta love the haters!!! i guess lots of folks have low self-esteem! are your lives that sad? get help and read a book! literacy helps! :)

  19. Adnarim

    She does have very good voice, it was really hard to tell during that song though. The dancing however, was altogether contemptible… The song kind of was as well. I really liked her in Dreamgirls.

  20. Beyonce ain’t half bad in my estimation.Those black tights sure are hot baby.As for Kim what the heck forget it.

  21. Tom Tucker

    I’d allow her to take some of my man-goo in her womb, but she’s gotta lose about 30 pounds first.

  22. packinwood

    The blonde chick dancing next to her puts Beyonce to shame. HOT!!!

  23. Érico

    Beyonce’s overrated.

  24. Choc Donut

    Hey, The Master, for someone who considers himself in the master race, you sure know a lot about black people. I’m sure you smell worse than anyone, with your greasy dishwater blonde limp mullet, your pimply pale crater skin, and your assless skeleton frame. You’re an idiot, and white people are inbred as anyone and there is no master race. You came from black people, deal with reality.

    Havign dealth with that racist assclown, I think that Beyonce is starting to look like a mannish trannie with boobs. Her face is aging and losing its girlish charm. Time to get off the stage, because she has zero to offer musically or vocally.

  25. lori

    She can neither sing nor dance. Man, that sounded like shit.

  26. so amazing

    Wow…. racist r soo lame! Do u guys not realize the butt is the biggest muscle on the body which adds to overall muscle mass which makes her have a lower body fat percentage than women with no butt and love handles to hold on 2 instead! Why do you think women like jessica biel squat all day to achieve the result beyonce was born with??? I totally agree with beyonce aging tho its prob due 2 her fare skin… it ages faster u know the lack of melain does that. But she looks okay in the outfit. I love the dance moves it was a tribute. But all three of those women dance very well. I like the song but it is def getting played out. If the racist people hate blacks so much just go live somewhere else deal with it america is a melting pot. Every color is beautiful!!

  27. so amazing

    Wow…. racist r soo lame! Do u guys not realize the butt is the biggest muscle on the body which adds to overall muscle mass which makes her have a lower body fat percentage than women with no butt and love handles to hold on 2 instead! Why do you think women like jessica biel squat all day to achieve the result beyonce was born with??? I totally agree with beyonce aging tho its prob due 2 her fare skin… it ages faster u know the lack of melain does that. But she looks okay in the outfit. I love the dance moves it was a tribute. But all three of those women dance very well. I like the song but it is def getting played out. If the racist people hate blacks so much just go live somewhere else deal with it america is a melting pot. Every color is beautiful!!

    here is the video that beyonce got her moves from:
    Wow…. racist r soo lame! Do u guys not realize the butt is the biggest muscle on the body which adds to overall muscle mass which makes her have a lower body fat percentage than women with no butt and love handles to hold on 2 instead! Why do you think women like jessica biel squat all day to achieve the result beyonce was born with??? I totally agree with beyonce aging tho its prob due 2 her fare skin… it ages faster u know the lack of melain does that. But she looks okay in the outfit. I love the dance moves it was a tribute. But all three of those women dance very well. I like the song but it is def getting played out. If the racist people hate blacks so much just go live somewhere else deal with it america is a melting pot. Every color is beautiful!
    video sasha go the moves from:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRm4evmgz4I&feature=related

  28. The new porn-star?
    be honest: WHY NOT?
    SHE GIVES ME A STIFF DICK, all right!!

  29. carmen

    que bien canta esta chica y que simpática parece.
    Desde Madrid, España

  30. kiddingme

    Anyone who calls Beyonce ape-like or unattractive obviously didn’t even bother to look at her. There are no simian features present and her nose and lips are no bigger than an Asian woman’s.

  31. naomi

    people say we look like twins.i look up to you like your my big sister.you should make a song just like “If i were a boy”and Single ladies”.i like to sing and dance but mostly singing.i learned how to sing better just like you and ciara.

  32. beyonce's poozel

    owwwwieee! can’t…… breathe…..

    [cute boots tho...]

  33. gigi

    haahaha!!! these comments are hysterical… when people have nothing else to say, the ape/monkey/ black comments resurrect themselves like clockwork! such sheep….. OK here’s the deal: Beyonce comes from a twisted country mentality where she was groomed & driven to be a performer. Every moment, every thought, every meal, everyTHING she experienced when she was a child was designed [by 2 equally driven wacky parents] for her to become a peformer. Hell, maybe from the day of conception. Scary stuff. As logic, timing & luck would dictate, she’s in the thick of things now & and as vapid & singleminded as her goals are, she’s doing what she wants, AND [pay attention now] could BUY & SELL the lot of you morons if she wanted to. Yes it’s a pity, but sadly it’s the truth. Have another piece of fried chicken [while you pretend you don't like it] watch the video again while you tap your feet [you know it's a catchy tune!] and calm the f* down… haha!

  34. wow

    wow… with all the ugly, fat, and ape comments, i’d REALLY like to see what you people look like…laughable i presume

  35. Lady in Red

    I dare any of you to put that outfit on and look one TENTH as good as she does. Not gonna happen! And who says she’s not singing. Clearly she’s singing live.

  36. Why

    “My president is black!” and to all of you who didn’t vote for him…guess what he’s your president too Ha..Ha..Ha! Look at the mess our forefathers, our white forefathers have gotten us into. The only thing a Black man can do is make it better because a black man possesses strength, courage, intellect and dicks that a lot of white men wish they had.

    Beyonce is alright, I never did like her when she was with Destiny’s Child. The CD Sasha Fierce is junk sounds like elevator music.

  37. rebecca

    I agree with Why…i think this will present change.
    For all u racists slavery is way over so deal with it, you lazy morons. Go screw yourselves, i doubt any else would

  38. True, there is no master race. Beyonce is not fat. She is a beautiful woman with gorgeous curves and amzing talent. That’s why ya’ll white people have your funny-looking love handles. Black most certainly IS beautiful. BTW – Beyonce is NOT just some made up black name. Her origins are Black, French and Native American. Her first name is the continuation of her mother’s family name because there were no boys to carry on the last name. You racist people deserve to burn in hell for eternity with the devil’s whip cracked against your backs, simply because you pride yourselves in being racist. No, I wouldn’s have chosen the body suit but ya’ll wouldn’t look nearly as fabulous as she does in it. I’m a black woman without the large booty – I’m shaped more like Scarlett J – lightly hourglass. But the color of my skin (even though it’s extremely light) makes me beautiful just like Beyonce’s does. Barak Obama!! Black is beautiful!! And I still don’t have wierd love handles and some flat ugly-lookin ass!! HaHa!!

  39. True, there is no master race. Beyonce is not fat. She is a beautiful woman with gorgeous curves and amzing talent. That’s why ya’ll white people have your funny-looking love handles. Black most certainly IS beautiful. BTW – Beyonce is NOT just some made up black name. Her origins are Black, French and Native American. Her first name is the continuation of her mother’s family name because there were no boys to carry on the last name. You racist people deserve to burn in hell for eternity with the devil’s whip cracked against your backs, simply because you pride yourselves in being racist. No, I wouldn’s have chosen the body suit but ya’ll wouldn’t look nearly as fabulous as she does in it. I’m a black woman without the large booty – I’m shaped more like Scarlett J – lightly hourglass. But the color of my skin (even though it’s extremely light) makes me beautiful just like Beyonce’s does. Barak Obama!! Black is beautiful!! And I still don’t have wierd love handles and some flat ugly-lookin ass!! HaHa!!

  40. There is no master race. Beyonce is not fat. She is a beautiful woman with gorgeous curves and amzing talent. BTW – Beyonce is NOT just some made up black name. Her origins are Black, French and Native American. Her first name is the continuation of her mother’s family name because there were no boys to carry on the last name. You racist people deserve to burn in hell for eternity with the devil’s whip cracked against your backs, simply because you pride yourselves in being racist. No, I wouldn’s have chosen the body suit but ya’ll wouldn’t look nearly as fabulous as she does in it. Barak Obama!! Black is beautiful!! And I still don’t have wierd love handles and some flat ugly-lookin ass!! HaHa!!

  41. To the racist people on here (the little boy/girl who calls themselves Master and the other one who I never care about), you need to understand a process called evolution, assimilation and integration; if England can embrace this concept and make it a reality, I don’t see why the US are so far behind, as you represent.

    The last time I checked, I smelled of:
    Dove
    Coca Butter
    Peppermint
    Jojoba Oil
    Orange body lotion
    The Sanctuary
    Lovely, SJP perfume and body lotion,
    Black XS.

    Funny how, when I get on the bus on my way to work and I smell a group of caucasian and middle easteren /european women and men who would not know what water was if they drowned in it, but is always ready to beg strangers for money to buy beer, drugs and other items; lets not forget the rancid, stale stench of urine and foul that reaks from their very soul or the bitter wretched infidels they had become, it amazes me that you can honestly stoop so low as to bring race into it.

    Beyonce is a bad uneducated singer, her husbnad is a pathetic excuse for a man, this is not due to their race. Britney Spears is tired trailer trash trife.

    Beyonce has had plastic surgery to look the way she does, more appealing to the western market. But, if someone or people don’t like you for the real you, but liked you after you’ve altered your appearance, then they never really liked you.

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