Beyonce, I don’t think I am ready for this jelly

November 26th, 2008 // 92 Comments

Beyonce performed on The Today Show this morning, and I don’t know sign language, but I’m pretty sure I can decipher the message being delivered here:

“Kim Kardashian, it’s on. My ghetto booty vs. your buttpad. Downtown LA. November 29. 6-8 PM. (On account of rain, butt-off will be moved indoors.) Bring a covered dish.”

Again, no sign language expert. But I think I caught the gist.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Balls McCoy

    um….fir…who gives a fuck

  2. caitlin selzer


    kardashian’s going down

  3. The Sargasm 2.0

    Is it me, or in pic 4 is she’s rockin’ a fierce camel toe?

  4. Ted from LA

    Beyonce is hot and works. Kim is a slob who does nothing but shop and pose.

  5. Jenine

    Backup singers crack me up everytime.

  6. amanda hugnkis

    not bad, butt why acentuate the largeness… she aint that hot here. seen better. is that camel toe in that aquaman suit??

  7. gee, where could you have gotten this beyonce vs. kim kardashian idea from, Stealperficial?

  8. Theres no jelly on kims superfish!!! no contest!!

  9. Max Planck

    Everybody’s a “singer”. What happened to real musicians?

  10. The Master

    She still smells like dirty hot-dog flavored water, like all black people. Plus she still has that brillo-pad pubic hair like all the other tar babies, no matter how much they try to straighten out the hair on their heads to try to look like the master race.

    Also, that Jay-z punk looks like one of the members of the Fat Albert gang, mushmouth I think….maybe Rudy

  11. Kiazersoza

    In all the excitement over Kim K’s huge posterior you have ignored the awesomeness of the true booty queen Vida Guerra of “livin the low life” .
    All other ass’s should bow down to hers, there should be smaller ass’s in orbit around her ass

  12. Pink

    Hey Look…any woman that looks like that in a black unitard gets my respect!

  13. Master Race

    It’ll be funny when JayZ gets her pregnant then leaves her like all black men do.

  14. kahlee

    But Kim doesn’t wear a butt pad. We all know that now. That joke is obsolete.

    Love you superfish : )

  15. CaptainInsano

    Why do “artists” like her even have a microphone when they “perform”. Its “pathetic” to think that your audience acutally beleives you are “singing”. PS. I “like” parenthesis!

  16. I know kim trek this sites,,,,youre #1 baby,,,If the bush ever fumble Rough Daddy will get a loan to take care of you….


  17. Zeebanger

    Why does she insist on wearing such unflattering clothes? UGH. Her body type would look great in 40s style dress (high waisted, long, A-line skirt, tight shirt, classy heels) and she wears this crap that makes her look like a stuffed pig.

    PS Kim Kardashian doesn’t wear a butt pad — she has ass implants. They are pathetically obvious in every bikini shot, since they make her ass start about 3 inches higher than it would normally (which is why her ass crack is always showing).

  18. AJ

    Funny stuff Superficial writer!

    Thank goodness fat bottom girls have body control garments like spanx lol!

  19. Danny


    Kim wears different type of butt girdles and it is obvious some of them have butt pads by the weird shaping of her big loose ass. Fat bottom chicks need butt support.

  20. grammerpolice

    #15 – How can you believe she wasn’t singing? P.S. Since when are “quotation marks” called “parenthesis”?

  21. R Rothchild

    This song is absolutely brutal. Beyonce is basically glorified stripper. I’ll put this on my list of all time top 5 worst songs just behind Amerie “This one thing” and every song Pink has ever written (they’re all included as one because they all sound the same and they all have lyrics with her b*tching about something).

  22. Ted from LA

    Did anyone here read the recent research out of the New England Journal of Medicine? They looked at 8,946 males who regularly make racist comments. There was a strong positive correlation (+.96) between number of racist comments made and eating one’s own ejaculate, with 97% of racists admitting to eating their own ejeculate. Ironically, of the 3% who denied it, all admitted that their first sexual experience was with a barnyard animal. So basically, if you’re a racist male, you most likely eat your own sperm or like to deposit it in a goat. I wasn’t surprised by these findings, but thought I’d share them with you dear readers.

  23. Mike

    I’m not a racist, but I am very fond of my goat.

  24. I would spank that ass like a red headed step child who hid my six pack.

  25. Richard McBeef

    The bitch sells records and made a name for herself. You can’t deny that she has more talent than a urinal with a sex tape and an OJ lawyer dad.

    It’s sad that fake-ass titties, a fake-ass ass, and penchant for lettin’ the homies piss on you is all it takes to become rich and famous.

  26. CaptainInsano

    #20 Since now.

    PS: “Beyonce” sucks somthin’ fierce.

  27. dave

    Nothing but hotness there.

  28. jok

    RACISTS.. Beyonce looks good, none of you would look half as good with that leotard bodysuit on! Also she was singing live dimwit.. “quotation” mark, (parenthesis)… idiot..

  29. dude

    These pix are all fine and dandy but where are all the ASS shots???
    Go back to your video please and screencap the pix that make up the story here, wtf :)

  30. Richard McBeef

    Let me rephrase that:

    It’s sad that fake-ass titties, a fake-ass ass, and penchant for lettin’ the homies piss on you is all it takes to become famous IF YOU ARE ALREADY RICH.

  31. gotmilk?

    i’m sure under all that that spandex is a thousand dollars worth of Spanx.

  32. dude some caps from @3:13 in… nice bootay there!

  33. Ted from LA

    I wasn’t referring on you. I haven’t read anything racist from you, and I know about your relationship with your goat. I hope you two have a nice Thanksgiving.

  34. JJ

    Why do black people make up names! (Beyonce- WTF?)

  35. vhw

    enough with the blatant kim kardashian promotion, one more blatant plug and i’m out of here.

    is thesuperficial owned by celebuzz who also happens to own kim’s official site? I mean, c’mon on dude! i know you’ve got to make yourself a living but this is pretty annoying.

  36. B

    To #9…

    Will this work for you?

    She co-wrote this song. Just Google BC Jean If I Were a Boy and you’ll get lots of sites telling you how Beyonce stole that song from a 21 year old San Diego girl.

    BC Jean plays the piano as well as singing and composing. Are we doing better now?

  37. Fuck

    Black people are just as stupid as racists.

  38. leia

    @ 37 so you’re basically putting yourself on blast as a racist you jackass?

    you are the dimwitted asswipe

  39. Chauncey Gardner

    I would totally fuck that black body, even if it does come with a Chia-crotch.

  40. Riley

    i think kim should do a remake of 2girls1cup with amy winehouse where amy would eat the puke and the shit coming from kim kardashian’s huge asshole. nevermind, amy would probably die before the shit came through the ass cheeks. :-(

  41. Speaking of this chick… and her “music”…. I watched this yesterday and about pissed my pants..

    It’s funny..

    Watch it. NOW!! What are you waiting for??

  42. Racer X

    I’d hit that so hard I would use a sick day the to continue.

  43. gsgnzs

    I’m not interested in Beyonce because I’m not into bestiality.

    To any white man who is interested in her, I’d suggest that you’ll find the woman of your dreams in your local zoo’s gorilla cage.

  44. LL

    Racism is so 20th century, get with the times, fucktards (for those that that applies to). Go back to Freeperland or or wherever you normally hang out.

    Having said that, I’m sick and fucking tired of Beyonce. I think the black unitard is fugly. She looks OK in it, but why any woman would want to dress like a disco ninja, I don’t know. I know it’s cold in NYC in November, but try harder. You get paid to look good, make an effort.

    I do know that every time she makes any kind of reference to “Sasha Fierce” it makes me want to hit her in the face with a shovel. Seriously. At least several times.

    People who make up alter egos for themselves are idiots. It’s cute when you’re 3 or 4, it’s not cute when you’re an adult. It just makes you look pretentious and immature. Yeah, this includes Diddy (or whatever the fuck he’s calling himself now) and Prince. Christ, one name isn’t enough for these people?

  45. Turd Ferguson

    I love bouncy.
    Of course, I can’t stand listening to the excrement that is passed off as “music” these days, so I turn the volume off and and just look at her boobs.

    P.S. Thats how I used to watch Charlies Angels too. Yes, I’m old.

  46. Smile

    That fat ho shouldn’t be wearing tight clothing. What a talentless looser !

  47. Christina

    Beyonce, you’ve got talent. You continue to suck the media dry. Your face on that perfume advert is glorious. You can’t recruit anymore fans unless theyre in the womb. Now enjoy your talent in the privacy of your own home.

  48. Nigerian Email

    Ahhh….I am enjoying the look of confusion on White Boy’s faces.

    What do we do with that booty? Must go play baseball…

  49. Aryan Supremacy

    White boyz like nice asses, not big fat black ones Mr. Nigerian (do all of you have those lupus scars on your faces?)
    Yeah most of us aren’t down with giant smelly asses. Why must they be oversized? I remember seeing pictures in the Smithsonian when I was 12 of Africans with huge shells in their lips and bones in their noses and females with insanely gigantic buttocks.
    No thanks brutha, you can keep this one. Even if she is only half black and don’t forget she if attractive to you because she is not not African American.
    Stupid fuck.
    Ahhhhhhh haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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