Beyonce because why not?

April 25th, 2009 // 75 Comments

You know, if I was Beyonce I’d probably wear dresses that make my breasts look lopsided too. I mean, hey, you’re famous, people think you’re beautiful, you’ve got everything, so why not? Hell, I’d just show up to events in a potato sack. And maybe stuff a carrot down my pants so people thought I had a penis.

superficial

  1. FRIST!

    FRIST!!11!!1!

  2. sandra

    she looks really pretty here. her dress is a little too tight (look at the armpits) but overall nice dress. her weight keeps fluctuating. That cant be healthy!

  3. Because I don’t like it being FOOLED.
    AMERICANS APARENTLY DO?

  4. Symmetry is overrated! And also you are crazy, she’s perfect!

  5. Valerie

    Ya, it’s just the asymmetry of the dress. It’s called “fashion” and “style,” Fish–and is arbitrary, indeed.

  6. Langdon

    Why hasn’t the fact that the howard stern recording was proven fake hasn’t been mentioned here? Embarrassed you didn’t have the common sense to figure it out?

  7. wokka

    your weekend writer sucks.

  8. knees

    she has enormous knees. Terrible calves (most blacks do) and her ass is too big (yeah I know those people childishly call that “bootyliscious”).
    She’s not very attractive in my book.

    Next

  9. Galtacticus

    I thought that Kim Kardashian’s legs got finally stretched.But i see now it’s Beyonce.

  10. Darth

    Imagine you wake up in the morning and a face like that is staring at you.*Shudder*

  11. Nero

    I bet she’s able to crack a coconut with those thighs!

  12. CaptainMorgan

    Man, those are what I call Thunder Thighs. When she stops walking, those don’t stop rippling for at least five minutes.

    One of the most over-rated singers today. Blah-onsay.

  13. Napoleon

    Jeeez, where have YOU been the last +10 years? Over-rated singer? This girl is in the list with Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, etc. (And better than Mariah and X-tina if you ask me)

    If ur looking for over-rated, look at; Britney, Lady GaGa, Fergie, Mya, Nicole Scherzinger, AMY WHINEHOUSE (different style my ass, it’s just noise)

    Let’s not even talk about wanna be singers like; Vanessa Hudgens, Paris Hilton, Hayden Panettiere, CASSIE

  14. el ces

    Baby, she is beautiful. She looks so sexy here.

  15. Royal Beauty

    It’s sad that things like “knees” and “shes” can’t handle African American beauty, your bitch asses probably uses botax to make your lips look like AAmericans, you probably have ass implants cause you ass is flat as hell, yuck, so disgusting, and your pale ass waste money on tanning because you “want the look.” Do us all a favor…phuck off! Get over, the media’s attempt to dictate beauty by Caucasian standards failed with most African Americans, at least this one, so stop trying to follow through on the impossible. Beyonce is in no way perfect, but she certainly is pretty. I am not a fan of her acting, but one can not deny her beauty, entertainment talent, and presents. On Beyonce best day her vocals couldn’t come close to Whitney or Xtina in their day (Xtina still has a lot to give), but she is talented (she needs to invest in an education and public speaking, but she is coming a long, as for that sister, well, there is always one in the family.

  16. alfalfa

    Take away the $5,000 dress and the 4 hours of professional make-up help, she’s average at best.

  17. ohhh god my shoulder hurt!,,, *yawns*

  18. Where is #4 comes from? i mean geographically, with those head ache induce comments!

  19. annie

    One rule a classy lady always remembers when wearing a dress.. show off cleavage OR legs.
    This is no classy lady..
    Fat ass needs to get on a diet [or disappear from the face of the earth..!]
    And please dont pull that real women are curvy shit, there is a difference between being curvy and just plain fat.
    This is fat.

  20. annie

    #21
    The Netherlands
    Look it up.
    One day you might find it..

  21. Whats with the fresh comment? next time don’t volunteer k? i mean really!

  22. Gando

    I bet if you step on Beyonce’s dress while she’s walking.She wouldn’t notice anything! You’ll have free lift!

  23. Rhialto

    I estimate the capacity of her legs on about 500 HP.

  24. dew

    Who cares??

    Bea Arthur passed away

  25. Bea Arthur

    Hey, I’m dead! Fuck me, this blows.

  26. The Other Dead Golden Girl

    And then there’s Maude!

  27. Alex

    You post about this drivel when national treasure, Bea Aurthur, just passed away?? For shame Superficial Writer… For shame.

  28. Fuck U

    look assholes give the bitch her props…she looks alright in these pics…
    better than all the other posts this weekend.
    Fuck you all

  29. Jesse

    That’s one FAT nigger with straighten hair and straight-hair extensions.

    Hey, Beyonce, why not just do the job right and go for experimental gene therapy to eradicate expression of the lower simian DNA?

  30. Mama Pinkus

    I hear her new movie is a real stinker

  31. yo

    to all the haters she is not fat or ugly. she is not the most gorgeous of all women but shes pretty good looking. oh and esp to #17 look at her hair. that is not the hair of a black woman. while like u said there are many white women who get their lips filled, there are just as many black women stapling extensions to their heads. and you dont need to be black to have naturally full lips or a nice round ass.

  32. wildbill

    @12 I would think I was a lucky lucky boy :P

  33. S

    I think that she is absolutely beautiful , i think it is so horrendous that people can say such awful things. how can anyone be so cruel .

  34. S

    I think that she is absolutely beautiful , i think it is so horrendous that people can say such awful things. how can anyone be so cruel .

  35. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T RESEMBLE A 12 YEAR OLD BOY BODY IS CONSIDERED FAT TO THE WHITE MEN IN AMERICA.

    GO KEEP LOVING YOUR GOLD DIGGING ASIANS, YOU DISRESPECT WHITE WOMEN TO BE WITH SCRAWNY ASIAN GIRLS WHO IF THEY CUT THEIR HAIR WOULD LOOK LIKE A BOY!

    http://whitemensuck.blogspot.com

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  36. hmm

    there’s nothing wrong with her. she’s got a beautiful and proportionate hour glass figure. she’s a talented artist and she’s famous which is more than any of your haters could say. every chick here complaining probably has no tits or ass, which means you probably look like a dude. beyonce is all woman!

  37. mink

    god she’s gotten big. she looks like an elephant

  38. marie

    How can Americans say that she is fat if almost all Americans are fat?

  39. Asia Mo'nei

    It’s extremely sad to see how some people on here put others down when the reality is, you haters would die to be in her shoes — Beyonce is beautiful and talented, and her dress can cost more than your whole damn life’s savings! So please, stop hating and get a life! ALL of you would die to have what this girl got…

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  42. beaubeau

    i don’t get it. i think beyonce is one of the most gorgeous female celebrities out there right now. i mean look at her… she’s all woman, with real curves! shes got plenty of beautiful body parts to play with. Just because she doesnt look like a scrawny pre-pubescent boy DOES NOT mean shes fat ! For all men that don’t appreciate a full booty and hips, go get some standards ! beyonce keep doing your thing.

  43. Kitty says

    I don’t get it. How do her boobs look lopsided? I really mean it, am I seeing the same pictures here?

  44. g_girl

    This post was terrible! Really, really unfunny.

  45. rebecca

    @ 33

    I’m sooooo sorry that you are an ignorant stuck up idiot. I feel sorry fo all the obnoxious pigs who think that they can decide who is better and who is not.
    Why don’t you do us a favour and go jump off a cliff, you fat moron!
    Screw you! what a shame you are an under-privileged hill billy
    Go screw yourself you screw ball

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