Beyonce and Jay-Z maybe not getting married

December 8th, 2006 // 53 Comments

A rep for Beyonce is denying reports she’s turning a Caribbean birthday party for Jay-Z into a wedding with him. A spokeswoman for Jay-Z backed the statement saying she had no knowledge of any approaching nuptials. Which is good news because if Jay-Z and Beyonce got married it’d be a travesty against nature. You don’t see unicorns marrying opossums. Sure, maybe it’s because one is a mythological creature. But maybe it’s because deep down they know in their hearts their love can never be.


  1. I don’t care about these two.

  2. fuctheworld

    than the lord it is not another skanky spears vag shot…

  3. could it be because Jay-Z saw the pictures of Beyonce’s face falling off on the superficial the other day?

  4. mmbelle

    idk, i think its nice to hear about someone other than hohan/britney once in a while. (i’m not saying i don’t enjoy reading about the stupid things they do)
    anywayS, would they be like mr.&mrs.-z ? beyonce-Z?

  5. girl69

    she decided to stick with the birthday party only after jay-z showed her the prenup

  6. MizScarlett

    Hey, “B” – I hear Russell Simmons is available.

    Of course, after Godzilla – OOPS! – Kimora, he’ll need serious retooling. Because I hear she got his in the divorce.

  7. PrettyBaby

    Where’s Rich, this would be music to the Big Cocked Man.

  8. Von Dutch

    Her father also confirmed on the radio that they weren’t going to get married.

    It was kind of saddening to me. It’s known Jay wants to settle down and have a family…

  9. Italian Stallion

    @8 wrong site faggot……….

  10. More rumor denial?!?! This isn’t common for this couple!

  11. RoseColoredGlasses

    I don’t know what to say….I kinda hate Beyonce lately for all her diva behavior…thinking she’s the shit, and no one else is…OOPS..i forgot thats ALL of Hollywoodland…so basically, I kinda hate all celebrities!

  12. PrettyBaby

    #8 :”It was kind of saddening to me. It’s known Jay wants to settle down and have a family…”
    HUH? It’s time to get a life, ya think?!

  13. Who would want a marry a chick with such a horrible wig anyways?

  14. #6 – Yeah man, fuck that broad. She is such a gold digger. Russell deserves better than that shit.

  15. RichPort

    Oh Beyonce, you’re time has cum, er, I mean come. I know you’re a frigid bitch… let’s let Big Daddy RichPort (I know you like rappers) warm it up for you, shall we? A nice backrub, some classic Marvin Gaye… perhaps a tall glass of your favorite vintage Alize… baby, I will shear whatever farm animal you need me to to make whatever kind of wig you need…. plus I speak Kingon: js

  16. Jayson Blair

    #12 quit going for sloppy seconds, #9 already hit that (better)

  17. PrettyBaby

    #16 Great minds think alike I guess, fuckface.

  18. leezastudio

    She sucks ass, did you guys read about her real age? she 32, that lying whore. Her young age is all that she had going for her at the beginning, no one would have cared about a fat assed 28 years old back then, i really hope it’s true. Even if it’s not, she still sucks and i hope her face peels off.

    This is where i read about her age

  19. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I heard it had something to do with her Lace Front Wig.

  20. RichPort

    #18 – She can suck my ass, teabag me, toss my fucking salad. There are very few chicks that are as hot as her… I’d like to give her the Arabian helmet… niiiiiice…

  21. jrzmommy

    wow, i guess she’s gonna be an old maid now. who would ever want to marry such an old ugly thing? Rich……

  22. MrSemprini

    She’s marrying him so those worms in her temple don’t spread. See, he has the antidote that will save her. But, really, its just Tang.

  23. rfrau

    HELLO!!!! unicorns might not marry opossums but they marry rats – look at Marc Anthony and J-Lo.

  24. RichPort

    Jrz, the fact that she’s older makes her tastier as far as I’m concerned… I always felt a bit dirty looking at her “young” ass… apparently RichPort Jr. is smarter than I thought…

  25. fergernauster

    Beyonce is morphing into her K-Fart “Derriere” designing mother, especially since it’s been revealed she is actually 46; NOT 25. Those twin witches could pass for sisters.

    Additionally, her ego is larger than her ultra-padded behind and jello jiggling thighs.


  26. Superficial, I am not sure if any one told you, but Unicorns don’t exist. I know, it is like me telling you Santa does not exist (hope I did not blow THAT for anyone). If you need to talk about this, or just have a good cry, give me a call. ;-)

  27. RichPort

    #25 – Where did you get that stupid shit? 46? Please tell me where you buy your weed.

  28. Condoleezza Rice

    rich just wants to lick a pussy that’s had a real black man’s dick in it

  29. It has to be the wig. It’s ruining everything.

  30. not from the CIA

    I heard a rumizzle on the Superfizzle that he won’t marryizzle any bizzle with a bad wigizzle.

  31. jesseeca

    i’d love to see how many of you think she’d still be hot after they take off her fake hair and eyelashes, all the make up and not airbrush the crap out of any image of her.

  32. jesseeca

    she’d be uglier than Jay-Z!

  33. randomcandy

    I suspect this is related to the wig issue. Clearly I’m not alone in this assumption.

  34. PrettyBaby

    #31 Do you remember the pics of her when she and Jay Z were on vacation? She had no makeup on (but still had the wig/weave) and she looked pretty damn hot.

  35. normella

    31 – Actually, you forgot to add the thought of her not dieting or working out like mad. She’d be as big as Kirstie Alley at her worst.

    I don’t think she’s ugly at all, but I don’t get people’s obsession with celebrities when they’re all done up. I prefer naturally beautiful people.

  36. Jennimafer

    Could she be lying about getting married? Oh no, celebs never do that. Well in that case could se be lying about her age?

  37. RichPort

    #28 – Did you write that all by yourself? I mean, no, seriously, do you really wanna take credit for that stupid shit. Much like your mom said to me, come harder next time. Idiot.

    #31 – No I’d much rather see you naked… huh..? what’s that..? Oh not willing to put yourself out there… I get it. What? Did the wide angle lens on your camera break? Even the candid photos of this chick are hot. She seems like a stuck up cunt, but she can go to a personality coach, and well, you’ll still be you.

  38. Is somebody trolling RichPort? Those are some lame comebacks.

  39. RichPort

    #38 – End of day brain fry I suppose… I’ll do some knuckle push ups on hot coals and dick smack those two later… c’mon they were that bad…

    #28 & #31 – Take turns biting me.

  40. superficially

    they’re probably already married….

    Beyonce lies A LOT

  41. j


  42. BigJism

    Bitch has Oprah ass, … Wait a couple of years, and she’ll be as big as a fucking house. Oh, and nice weave, for a man.

  43. Steeno

    he found out her real nose was just like his, and her lips were too, and their kids would be the ugliest little jiggas on the block

  44. j

    the only thing i have to say to beyonce is please don’t marry JZ

  45. superficially

    can this ho be any more fake….

    she’s so bland without her additions (hair, makeup, eyelashes, nails,….damn everything!)

    jayz has bought himself a real high-maintenance piece of ass

  46. kacsing

    THERE’S NO SANTA??????????????

  47. HollyJ

    cuz he fell in love with her FAKE HAIR

    damn.. she’s a typical bland BLAH w/o all the fake extras.. who gives a fuck ?

  48. madaboutmark

    Who cares if she marries the ape or not????

  49. ginettissima

    Isn’t it nice, though, when pretty creatures take pity on ugly creatures? :)

  50. bootiful

    JayZ is ugly ass hell, i dont understand y anyone would ever want to even look at that..Beyonce is okay, shes not the hottest shit on this earth like everyone makes it seem..i could really care less if they marry or not…they would be cakin it together (makin mad money–4 those who don kno)..they got some good music out and jayz clothin line sells A LOT

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