Beyonce and Jay-Z maybe not getting married

December 8th, 2006 // 53 Comments
beyonce-wedding-off.jpg

A rep for Beyonce is denying reports she’s turning a Caribbean birthday party for Jay-Z into a wedding with him. A spokeswoman for Jay-Z backed the statement saying she had no knowledge of any approaching nuptials. Which is good news because if Jay-Z and Beyonce got married it’d be a travesty against nature. You don’t see unicorns marrying opossums. Sure, maybe it’s because one is a mythological creature. But maybe it’s because deep down they know in their hearts their love can never be.

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Comments (53)

  1. fearsarewishes | December 8, 2006 at 9:24 am

    I don’t care about these two.

    Reply
  2. fuctheworld | December 8, 2006 at 9:31 am

    than the lord it is not another skanky spears vag shot…

    Reply
  3. lohanjob | December 8, 2006 at 9:32 am

    could it be because Jay-Z saw the pictures of Beyonce’s face falling off on the superficial the other day?

    Reply
  4. mmbelle | December 8, 2006 at 9:33 am

    idk, i think its nice to hear about someone other than hohan/britney once in a while. (i’m not saying i don’t enjoy reading about the stupid things they do)
    anywayS, would they be like mr.&mrs.-z ? beyonce-Z?

    Reply
  5. girl69 | December 8, 2006 at 9:33 am

    she decided to stick with the birthday party only after jay-z showed her the prenup

    Reply
  6. MizScarlett | December 8, 2006 at 9:34 am

    Hey, “B” – I hear Russell Simmons is available.

    Of course, after Godzilla – OOPS! – Kimora, he’ll need serious retooling. Because I hear she got his in the divorce.

    Reply
  7. PrettyBaby | December 8, 2006 at 9:36 am

    Where’s Rich, this would be music to the Big Cocked Man.

    Reply
  8. Von Dutch | December 8, 2006 at 9:38 am

    Her father also confirmed on the radio that they weren’t going to get married.

    It was kind of saddening to me. It’s known Jay wants to settle down and have a family…

    Reply
  9. Italian Stallion | December 8, 2006 at 9:41 am

    @8 wrong site faggot……….

    Reply
  10. enfilade | December 8, 2006 at 9:45 am

    More rumor denial?!?! This isn’t common for this couple!

    http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

    Reply
  11. RoseColoredGlasses | December 8, 2006 at 9:50 am

    I don’t know what to say….I kinda hate Beyonce lately for all her diva behavior…thinking she’s the shit, and no one else is…OOPS..i forgot thats ALL of Hollywoodland…so basically, I kinda hate all celebrities!

    Reply
  12. PrettyBaby | December 8, 2006 at 9:57 am

    #8 :”It was kind of saddening to me. It’s known Jay wants to settle down and have a family…”
    HUH? It’s time to get a life, ya think?!

    Reply
  13. CelebSlam.com | December 8, 2006 at 9:58 am

    Who would want a marry a chick with such a horrible wig anyways?

    http://www.celebslam.com

    Reply
  14. DrunkBlogger | December 8, 2006 at 10:09 am

    #6 – Yeah man, fuck that broad. She is such a gold digger. Russell deserves better than that shit.

    Reply
  15. RichPort | December 8, 2006 at 10:10 am

    Oh Beyonce, you’re time has cum, er, I mean come. I know you’re a frigid bitch… let’s let Big Daddy RichPort (I know you like rappers) warm it up for you, shall we? A nice backrub, some classic Marvin Gaye… perhaps a tall glass of your favorite vintage Alize… baby, I will shear whatever farm animal you need me to to make whatever kind of wig you need…. plus I speak Kingon: js

    Reply
  16. Jayson Blair | December 8, 2006 at 10:23 am

    #12 quit going for sloppy seconds, #9 already hit that (better)

    Reply
  17. PrettyBaby | December 8, 2006 at 10:35 am

    #16 Great minds think alike I guess, fuckface.

    Reply
  18. leezastudio | December 8, 2006 at 10:46 am

    She sucks ass, did you guys read about her real age? she 32, that lying whore. Her young age is all that she had going for her at the beginning, no one would have cared about a fat assed 28 years old back then, i really hope it’s true. Even if it’s not, she still sucks and i hope her face peels off.

    This is where i read about her age http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  19. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | December 8, 2006 at 10:46 am

    I heard it had something to do with her Lace Front Wig.

    Reply
  20. RichPort | December 8, 2006 at 10:50 am

    #18 – She can suck my ass, teabag me, toss my fucking salad. There are very few chicks that are as hot as her… I’d like to give her the Arabian helmet… niiiiiice…

    Reply
  21. jrzmommy | December 8, 2006 at 10:51 am

    wow, i guess she’s gonna be an old maid now. who would ever want to marry such an old ugly thing? Rich……

    Reply
  22. MrSemprini | December 8, 2006 at 10:53 am

    She’s marrying him so those worms in her temple don’t spread. See, he has the antidote that will save her. But, really, its just Tang.

    Reply
  23. rfrau | December 8, 2006 at 10:55 am

    HELLO!!!! unicorns might not marry opossums but they marry rats – look at Marc Anthony and J-Lo.

    Reply
  24. RichPort | December 8, 2006 at 11:13 am

    Jrz, the fact that she’s older makes her tastier as far as I’m concerned… I always felt a bit dirty looking at her “young” ass… apparently RichPort Jr. is smarter than I thought…

    Reply
  25. fergernauster | December 8, 2006 at 11:18 am

    Beyonce is morphing into her K-Fart “Derriere” designing mother, especially since it’s been revealed she is actually 46; NOT 25. Those twin witches could pass for sisters.

    Additionally, her ego is larger than her ultra-padded behind and jello jiggling thighs.

    Bye.

    Reply
  26. HolisticWisdomcom | December 8, 2006 at 11:19 am

    Superficial, I am not sure if any one told you, but Unicorns don’t exist. I know, it is like me telling you Santa does not exist (hope I did not blow THAT for anyone). If you need to talk about this, or just have a good cry, give me a call. ;-)

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

    Reply
  27. RichPort | December 8, 2006 at 11:28 am

    #25 – Where did you get that stupid shit? 46? Please tell me where you buy your weed.

    Reply
  28. Condoleezza Rice | December 8, 2006 at 11:39 am

    rich just wants to lick a pussy that’s had a real black man’s dick in it

    Reply
  29. Peter Coffin | December 8, 2006 at 11:42 am

    It has to be the wig. It’s ruining everything.

    Reply
  30. not from the CIA | December 8, 2006 at 12:01 pm

    I heard a rumizzle on the Superfizzle that he won’t marryizzle any bizzle with a bad wigizzle.

    http://www.papparelli.com

    Reply
  31. jesseeca | December 8, 2006 at 12:09 pm

    i’d love to see how many of you think she’d still be hot after they take off her fake hair and eyelashes, all the make up and not airbrush the crap out of any image of her.

    Reply
  32. jesseeca | December 8, 2006 at 12:09 pm

    she’d be uglier than Jay-Z!

    Reply
  33. randomcandy | December 8, 2006 at 12:19 pm

    I suspect this is related to the wig issue. Clearly I’m not alone in this assumption.

    Reply
  34. PrettyBaby | December 8, 2006 at 12:20 pm

    #31 Do you remember the pics of her when she and Jay Z were on vacation? She had no makeup on (but still had the wig/weave) and she looked pretty damn hot.

    Reply
  35. normella | December 8, 2006 at 12:35 pm

    31 – Actually, you forgot to add the thought of her not dieting or working out like mad. She’d be as big as Kirstie Alley at her worst.

    I don’t think she’s ugly at all, but I don’t get people’s obsession with celebrities when they’re all done up. I prefer naturally beautiful people.

    Reply
  36. Jennimafer | December 8, 2006 at 12:44 pm

    Could she be lying about getting married? Oh no, celebs never do that. Well in that case could se be lying about her age?

    http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/98997/did_beyonce_lie_about_her_age.html

    Reply
  37. RichPort | December 8, 2006 at 12:54 pm

    #28 – Did you write that all by yourself? I mean, no, seriously, do you really wanna take credit for that stupid shit. Much like your mom said to me, come harder next time. Idiot.

    #31 – No I’d much rather see you naked… huh..? what’s that..? Oh not willing to put yourself out there… I get it. What? Did the wide angle lens on your camera break? Even the candid photos of this chick are hot. She seems like a stuck up cunt, but she can go to a personality coach, and well, you’ll still be you.

    Reply
  38. UNWASHEDMASSES | December 8, 2006 at 1:11 pm

    Is somebody trolling RichPort? Those are some lame comebacks.

    Reply
  39. RichPort | December 8, 2006 at 1:46 pm

    #38 – End of day brain fry I suppose… I’ll do some knuckle push ups on hot coals and dick smack those two later… c’mon they were that bad…

    #28 & #31 – Take turns biting me.

    Reply
  40. superficially | December 8, 2006 at 2:53 pm

    they’re probably already married….

    Beyonce lies A LOT

    Reply
  41. j | December 8, 2006 at 3:11 pm

    haaaaaaalaaaaaluuuuyjaaaaaaaaah.

    Reply
  42. BigJism | December 8, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    Bitch has Oprah ass, … Wait a couple of years, and she’ll be as big as a fucking house. Oh, and nice weave, for a man.

    Reply
  43. Steeno | December 8, 2006 at 7:59 pm

    he found out her real nose was just like his, and her lips were too, and their kids would be the ugliest little jiggas on the block

    Reply
  44. j | December 8, 2006 at 8:28 pm

    the only thing i have to say to beyonce is please don’t marry JZ

    Reply
  45. superficially | December 8, 2006 at 8:40 pm

    can this ho be any more fake….

    she’s so bland without her additions (hair, makeup, eyelashes, nails,….damn everything!)

    jayz has bought himself a real high-maintenance piece of ass

    Reply
  46. kacsing | December 9, 2006 at 5:20 am

    THERE’S NO SANTA??????????????

    Reply
  47. HollyJ | December 9, 2006 at 9:30 pm

    cuz he fell in love with her FAKE HAIR

    damn.. she’s a typical bland BLAH w/o all the fake extras.. who gives a fuck ?

    Reply
  48. madaboutmark | December 9, 2006 at 10:08 pm

    Who cares if she marries the ape or not????

    Reply
  49. ginettissima | December 11, 2006 at 11:33 am

    Isn’t it nice, though, when pretty creatures take pity on ugly creatures? :)

    Reply
  50. bootiful | December 14, 2006 at 12:56 pm

    JayZ is ugly ass hell, i dont understand y anyone would ever want to even look at that..Beyonce is okay, shes not the hottest shit on this earth like everyone makes it seem..i could really care less if they marry or not…they would be cakin it together (makin mad money–4 those who don kno)..they got some good music out and jayz clothin line sells A LOT

    Reply

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