Beyonce and Jay-Z maybe getting married

December 5th, 2006 // 66 Comments

Sources are saying that the four-day “surprise” birthday party Beyonce is throwing for Jay-Z next weekend will actually be a wedding.

“Beyonce is throwing Jay a four-day birthday party, but it’s really a wedding,” said one source. Guests, including family and close friends, were told to have passport applications filed by last Friday so they can attend the bash on a yacht in St. Barts. But insiders said the guests will also be ferried over to Anguilla for the wedding at Cap Juluca, a five-star resort with Moorish villas. Another spy said Knowles and Jay-Z had toured the site earlier this year and approved it for their nuptials.

Jay-Z is cool and all, but he’s not somebody you marry. Mostly because you have sex with people you marry and his face looks like it was made while God was drunk. Like God was stumbling around the office going, “Well he’s got two eyes. And a nose. And a mouth. Ahh, that’s good enough.” And then God passed out on the sofa and nine months later out popped Jay-Z.


  1. somechick

    There’s nothing worse than a guy with a fat nose and money marrying a girl who thinks she’s a barbie doll!!!!

  2. jesseeca

    #49, you’re an idiot, she’s not half white.

    i wonder what her real hair looks like. she’s been wearing extensions for most of her life. I bet she’s bald.

  3. CantLookBackWontLookBack

    Come on people. He’s one HELLUVA business man. And she’s one helluva money maker. They’re not stupid. They’re just into money and power. Look at Kimora Lee Simmons. I mean really, she’s a fucktard. But she’s got brains in the business sense. She married a NOT SO GOOD LOOKIN brotha. But he’s a business man and a damn good one.

    Perhaps all these rich brown folks is laughin at the rest of us. I don’t know. I DO KNOW that there is no way in HELL I could ever wake up every single day to JayZ’s (or Hova or whatever) lips. Goddamnit if those are terrifying.

  4. Shelley Bonnechance

    He looks like he just swallowed his gum and is thinking, “Oh, sh*t! I wonder if it really is going to stay undigested in my stomach for seven years??!!”

    Either that or “Whut is duh purdy box that purson is holdin’ up in hur hands?”

  5. superficially

    i know for a fact that gum gets digested…i’ve seen it many times in my poop…

    * i sure hope its not the gum i swallowed 7 years ago…damn

  6. j

    oh man you people are terrible but i am laughing my ass off. but i do believe in the end that its all about money with those two. yeah and who is the racsist from TMB?

  7. how the hell can she even thing of marrying that ogre?

  8. The reason beyonce is like that because she know JAY got his eyes on the ISLAND GIRL.

  9. youbetterthink

    NO,NO,NO PLEASE NO…. ISLAND GIRL NO girl want him and the men just like your ASS. Think with your head not with your butt.

  10. You can be my JAY anytime with lips like that I know you can…… help me rob a store just hide everything in your damn lips. here put this in your lips(a 32″ tv with a dvd player).HA,HA,HA,HA,

  11. OOOh Ma God…you all suck! For the hopeless bastards…get a life..the girl is taken.And for the few bitches banging their heads with jeolosy…shoot yourself in your fucking stinking holes.Long live Jay-Z ..long live adorable Beyonce! The beauty of a man lies in his wallet and a fat bank account !

  12. First of all, I would like to wish them the best. Jay-Z is a friend of mine and I know he doesn’t have the time to read all the bs people write; therefore I am here to speak on his behalf.
    To the people who don’t have anything nice to say: I am going to take a wild guest why you would even write something negative. You are either broke, jealous, racist, immature, single , fat, ugly, you still live home with your parents, have a minimum wage job or you probably have about 1 to 5 kids from 1 to 5 different baby daddies or maybe you don’t even know who the daddies are. Well, to sum it all up you probably have no life.
    To the people who have positive things to say: I want to thank you very much for taking your time to read this article and for leaving such positive comments. Life will definitely treat you good. Unlike the negative thinkers you must be happy with your life. This world can be a struggle if you don’t have a positive attitude and mentality. I want to wish you the best and I hope all your wishes come true. May God Bless You and your family.

    and for Jay and Beyonce you guys are doing a tremendous job on keeping your head up and not looking down to these ignorant people. You try to entertain the world, pass positive messages and/or letting people know that someone out there has been through the same pain or struggle so they don’t have to feel alone and look at what you get in return from people who don’t appreciate nothing, stupidity and ignorance of people with no life.

    Well I think I said enough.

    Take care and may god bless you all.
    and to all the haters
    Get a Life!!!!

  13. hydia

    i love the both of you ! i would love to see you married!

  14. hydia

    i love the both of you ! i would love to see you married!

  15. Nanje

    luv ur pair hold on 2 each oda dont let d stardorm destroy it .u 2 r great i must d best

  16. kris

    id take a fat-lip good-brain combo than the racist good for nuthings who comment BS on random internet threads like these

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