Fox News Praised Beyonce VMAs Performance? WHAT IS HAPPENING?
Not only did Beyonce walk the VMAS red carpet with the mothers of Black Lives Matter on Sunday night, but she also supported feminism with her “Lemonade” performance. The only thing missing to complete the conservative pants-shitting trifecta is worshiping the goddamn Devil, and I’m honestly not even sure she didn’t:
Yet somehow Fox News – The Fox News. – ran a report praising Beyonce’s dominance over the entire VMAs instead of shrieking that she just killed all the police. So clearly Gene Wilder was the glue that held our reality together, which means we’re only seconds away from Donald Trump becoming the most successful coyote in American history.
“¿Señor, no estás corriendo para presidente?”
“Not anymore, muchacho. – *pulls grenade pin with teeth, throws it at border fence* – Alright, beautiful Latinos y Mexicanos, I have the best grenades, so hurry across. There are jobs for everyone. You’re gonna love it.”
*border patrol agents run out, stop in their tracks*
“Oh, shit, it’s Donald Trump!”
“That’s right, rapists. Time to bleed out of your.. whatevers.” *cocks machine gun*