Didn’t Watch The Game? Here Are All The Trailers

February 4th, 2013 // 23 Comments

We’ve reached peak black microphone.

If you’re like me, you abstain from all religions including ones tied with the Catholic Church for Most Rapes, so for your work-neglecting pleasure, here are the trailers for Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness, The Lone Ranger, Oz: The Great And Powerful and Fast & Furious 6 that aired during last night’s Super Bowl. Or you can just look at all the pics of Beyonce‘s groin performing the halftime show. It’s not like I spent all morning embedding these after making sure they were nice HD versions or anything, jerks.

Iron Man 3

This is the extended version the 30 second Super Bowl spot pointed fans to on Facebook just in case everyone wasn’t sure Robert Downey Jr. is in this movie as some sort of witty robot man.

Star Trek Into Darkness

More like Star Trek Into What? No Lightsabers? Fuck This, I’m Out, amirite?

The Lone Ranger

“Is it a gritty action movie? A comedy? No, wait, who cares? Johnny Depp‘s wearing silly clothes and talking funny! Whee!” – The sound of Disney making another $100 trillion.

Oz: The Great And Powerful

Waitaminnit, this doesn’t look like an impressionistic avant garde student film on the metaphysical properties of masturbating into a Venetian blind. For shame, James Franco, for shame…

Fast & Furious 6

Why why why why WHY?! (Apply to both the existence of this movie and Gina Carano not kicking one goddamn person in this trailer. Not one.)

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. FattyFatty2X4

    These black mics are all the rage

  2. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    crikey
    Commented on this photo:

    Who photoshopped berty in between 2 black-ish chicks?

  3. Timmy Toot-toot

    Beyonce, you’re doing it wrong.

  4. The 2 Broke Girls promo with Kat Dennings boobs on a stripper pole trumps them all.

  5. judgingyou

    Beyonce looks like a muppet.

  6. EDDIE HITLER

    I see that Johnny Hair Gel is once again going to destroy another television classic. Yuk it up, jackass…someone needs to stop him and that shithead Burton before they totally ass-rape Kolchak: The Night Stalker.

  7. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    Commented on this photo:

    …. And then Jay-Z woke up.

  8. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    Herman Bumfudle
    Commented on this photo:

    what! there’s no ring on it. |O|!

  9. That Iron Man 3 trailer looks fucking awesome. I can’t wait to see that movie.

  10. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the lamest performances EVER! She either danced or sang. She can’t do both at the same time.

  11. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    Ashley
    Commented on this photo:

    Was anyone looking at her face to begin with?

  12. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Kelly was always my favourite. Still is.

  13. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    Herman Bumfudle
    Commented on this photo:

    beautiful mama #fu*k “charlie” wants you.

  14. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure I saw this picture airbrushed on the side of some dude’s van.

  15. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a show. She’s a puppet. How can anyone be proud of any of this? The US entertainment industry is the shallowest, soul sucking, dumbing down of America industry out there. Glad people are thinking for themselves. Yes, you should be disgusted. It’s disgusting.

  16. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Some serious photo editing was done in the GQ issue , what a difference how these celebrities look live , ugly.

  17. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    Commented on this photo:

    MORE than half of those pictures are absolutely beautiful. Haters.

  18. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    ellen8
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a school for learning these movements.? As I look through these photos I start seeing JLo. The facial expressions, the way she holds her hands, the booty moves, aren’t they just the same these gals do over and over ? Where or what is the talent here? Can’t we all hump and grind ?!??

  19. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    thecrazybetty
    Commented on this photo:

    blew a big one…

  20. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    the crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    possessed.

  21. Beyonce Super Bowl Halftime Show
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    After the Super Bowl.. I heard Jewel on Howard Stern..Playing acoustic, live and bringing tears to listeners eyes with her naturally beautiful voice. Jewel is so unaffected by fame the exact opposite of this fat pig, talentless fraud.

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