Beyonce’s Not Pregnant Again. Again.

Posted by Photo Boy

Can’t Beyonce just Instagram a family picture of an innocent beach day where she’s covered in sand with a conspicuous mound over her stomach without everyone going crazy with the pregnancy rumors? It’s exhausting for her to constantly have to shoot this shit down. Wait, she hasn’t? And the only person who has is the chick nobody remembers from the group she was in that broke up nine years ago? Via E! Online:

“You know, when she was pregnant people said that she wasn’t pregnant and you know, it’s just no truth to it. Sorry!”

When reached for comment, additional random people from Beyonce’s past who probably don’t have direct contact with her also disputed a “Blu 2.” (Going, yes I’m leavi–OW! You don’t have to shove!) Her father, former manager and current Kellog’s regional sales leader, Matthew Knowles, stated “Maybe yes, maybe no. Could the answer be hidden inside a box of delicious Pop-Tarts?” Steve Martin, her Pink Panther co-star quipped “Beyonce…Beyonce…she was that nice Dominican woman from craft services, right?” And finally, Mike Myers, creator of Austin Powers warned “She steals. I’m not kidding, we had everything in her trailer behind lock and key. Just a terrible, awful thief of a woman.”

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