Beyonce’s Moving Out

July 29th, 2014 // 11 Comments
Rihanna Bikini
Jay Z Was Banging Rihanna Read More »

Yesterday, we found out that Jay Z cheated on Beyonce with Rihanna which was also the reason for Solange‘s elevator attack if we’re all going to start believing lizard people talking points now. Why make them go through the trouble of secretly putting mind control in our water? That’s my motto. Anyway, now comes word that Beyonce has been secretly shopping for penthouses without a camel pen for Jay Z to sleep in. Page Six reports:

“She was very quiet, as if she was looking on the sly,” a source said.
Fueling the notion that Beyoncé is not shopping for both of them is the fact that Jay Z has always been extremely involved in their real estate deals, sources said.
Yet he was nowhere to be seen during the apartment showing, they added.
Jay also would be loath to leave their current posh Tribeca pad, a source said.

KIM: “Ohmygod, are they really getting a divorce?”
KANYE: “I dunno. Probably.”
KIM: “We’ll never get one though, right?”
KANYE: “…”
KIM: “Right?!”
KANYE: “…”
KIM: “Hello? Did you hang up on me?”
KANYE: “… *snaps fingers* Kim! Sorry, bitch, forgot your name for a second. What were you saying?”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, WENN


  1. Wally's Beaver

    Ugly rich guys always aren’t happy with the hotties they have. They should be grateful they aren’t dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters.

  2. Keith

    Beyonce – I’ve got some room. Text me.

  3. Matt

    KIM:: “Ohmygod, are they really getting a divorce?”
    KANYE: “I dunno. Probably.”
    KIM: ‘You mean to tell me that her face will be plastered on every magazine there is and everyone will obsesively follow their every move?’
    KANYE: “Ummm.. I guess”
    KIM: “SHOTGUN!” *calls lawyer*

  4. Beyonce Album Release Party
    Mel Gibson's Shrink
    Commented on this photo:

    Well it was high time. Jay Z is ugly even for a black dude.

  5. Short Round

    Usually I don’t give a rat’s ass about these celeb divorces but for some reason I couldn’t give two shits about this one.

  6. Fake siblinghood, fake music, fake marriage, faked pregnancy. They have a system and it works. Who are we to argue?

  7. This story needs more murder/suicide if you expect me to masturbate to completion.

    • Kimmykimkim

      That’s what I was thinking! But I’m gonna need a double murder/suicide so let’s throw Rihanna’s sloppy butthole into the equation. Oh hell yeah. That shit feels good.

  8. Josephus

    She’ll probably put all of his things in a box to the left.

    ::kills self::

  9. Fuck the both of them. They can disappear and I won’t even notice they were gone.

  10. Zohan

    Awful people.

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