Beyoncé Bey-Beywatch Day 2: Labor Rumors

Somebody’s friend heard from somebody else’s friend that Beyoncé and her entourage have taken over an entire floor of UCLA hospital like Spanish Conquistadors. Sources say that all the patients on the 5th floor were politely asked to go fuck themselves before being launched from windows in preparation for the second (and third) coming.

To supplement the labor rumors, hairstylist Chuck Amos posted a “hang in there, mama” Instagram blurb implying that Bey is either in labor or going rock climbing… I’m going to assume the former.

Hang in there, Mama! 💛 You @Beyonce!!

A post shared by Chuck Amos, Hair Legend (@chuckielovehair) on

This revelation sent Twitter into such a tizzy that memes have already shifted to be reactionary towards other memes reacting to hearing the rumors. It’s a meme-nado out there and somebody’s going to wind up carving Beyonce’s name into their chest on Facebook live before it’s all over.

Skeptics are bringing up the fact that Bey and Jay-Z supposedly spent $1 million on facilitating a home birth in their Hollywood mansion. Why they would go to a hospital to give Beyrth amongst commoners is a relevant question.

More to come… most we can do now is stock our cabinets with canned food and batteries, maybe a HAM radio, and definitely an ice chest of cold Fresca.