Beyonce’s Banned From The Pyramids

November 26th, 2013 // 26 Comments
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Was the nipple suit necessary? Like everything on this site, not in the least.

In case you can’t tell by the Lil Kim and Macaulay Culkin posts, we’re basically catching up on the stories from the weekend that the AMAs, and all the pussy jokes contained wherein, shoved to the side. So here’s Beyoncé getting banned from the pyramids because she kept one of Egypt’s most renowned archaeologists waiting and did that weird shit about getting her picture taken again. The Independent reports:

She said she would come at 3pm but she came late. I said ‘You have to say I’m sorry I’m late’. But she didn’t open her mouth,” continued Dr Hawass, credited with modernising the management of Egypt’s ancient sites and who claims to have repatriated 6,000 artefacts “stolen” by Western powers.
“I brought a photographer and she also had a photographer and a guard. When my photographer started to shoot, he said ‘No, Stop! I am the one who says yes or no, not you.’ I said ‘In that case since you almost hit my photographer and you are not polite – out! I am not giving you the privilege of having you on my tour.’ I said Beyoncé was stupid and I left.”

The matter was later cleared up after Dr. Hawass admitted he mistook Beyoncé’s white companion for a mummy escaped from one of the crypts. “I guess I should have known when the creature requested a meal of exactly eight flax seeds, yet it also demanded pure water from an ancient, engraved urn, much like a pharaoh would, so I threw a scarab at its head and called it a bitch. I was acting on reflex.”

Photos: Splash News


  1. Mohawk Disco

    Apparently, Beyonce did not recognize she just met Egypt’s Beyonce and she wasn’t playing on home ground.

  2. MrChips

    How do you say in Egyptian, “You’re not a diva, you’re just a cunt?”

  3. Fool. She wasn’t there to sight-see. She was there to bathe in the Lazarus Pit. No one takes Sasha Fierce’s picture pre-Lazarus Pit.

  4. This stupid woman couldn’t even show some respect for a man of Dr. Hawass’ stature. What a fucking idiot. He was right to kick her the fuck out. I just wish more people had the balls to shoot these stars down when the start with their diva bullshit.

  5. I’m glad she was banned from the Pyramids but I would have been happier if she’d been wrapped in linen and shoved under one.

  6. Ha ha, she fucked with Dr. Hawass, what an idiot. Clearly she has no idea who he is or how powerful he is over there.

  7. Warms my heart, this does. I love how he says, “She’s a stupid person and she doesn’t understand a thing and she doesn’t want to understand… She’s coming here to take pictures and that’s it.” Way to blow an amazing opportunity for a once-in-a-lifetime tour, genius.

    • Dox

      I was once given a unique opportunity, though not anywhere near as unique as Beyoncé threw away. To be honest, I was a rapt audience. I learned amazing things about Zoology, and considered myself uncharacteristically lucky to have one that was willing to guide me by the hand, and spoon feed me information. Lord knows, she had better things to do.

      Anytime someone offers you the opportunity to learn, it should be met with humility, and reverence for the subject matter and person giving the lecture.

      I would trade my left ring finger for an opportunity to learn about the pyramids and ancient Egyptian culture from a man as renowned as he.

      That she viewed it with so little respect amazes me. Honestly, celebrities are some of the most arrogant, entitled shits on the planet.

      Way to make America look like a bunch of assholes. Thanks Beyoncé…. *grumble*arrogantentitleduntalentedskankwhore*grumble*

  8. Byeonce Nipples Body Suit Glitter Serbia
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe it’s just me, but she looks like a soccer mom desperately trying to relive her glory days as a stripper.
    …after three kids and a nasty bon bon habit.

  9. alex

    This is the third time opening this story but the FIRST time I saw her face. Funny what sequins will do to your focus (when they’re nipple sequins)…..and FINALLY my point, she’s got a really manish face in these shots.

  10. Everyone knows that Queen B stands for bitch!

  11. Byeonce Nipples Body Suit Glitter Serbia
    Some Black Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Ew… She looks awful. I think black is cracking. Myth BUSTED…

  12. crb

    Aliens vs. Predator.

    Good on him for shooting her diva BS down.

    But he is a giant freaking brat himself. He’s like a 2-year-old in the adult body of a tan Curly Howard.

  13. Jenn

    Bey got burned by Dr Hawaas. Christmas came early.

  14. Aggie

    Love Beyonce, but I’m glad he did this. More people need to treat celebrities this way, y’know, like everyone else.

  15. Beyoncé had a chance to look at things ancient and forgotten…hopefully her career is next…

  16. Gryph

    How do you get banned. Are you really that into smelling yourself that you get banned. What an idiot! I used to love her but everything in her life smells like roses. Bravo. Who else in this world would get BANNED from the pyramids. Lord have mercy!!

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