Beyonce’s Banned From The Pyramids

Was the nipple suit necessary? Like everything on this site, not in the least.

In case you can’t tell by the Lil Kim and Macaulay Culkin posts, we’re basically catching up on the stories from the weekend that the AMAs, and all the pussy jokes contained wherein, shoved to the side. So here’s Beyoncé getting banned from the pyramids because she kept one of Egypt’s most renowned archaeologists waiting and did that weird shit about getting her picture taken again. The Independent reports:

She said she would come at 3pm but she came late. I said ‘You have to say I’m sorry I’m late’. But she didn’t open her mouth,” continued Dr Hawass, credited with modernising the management of Egypt’s ancient sites and who claims to have repatriated 6,000 artefacts “stolen” by Western powers.
“I brought a photographer and she also had a photographer and a guard. When my photographer started to shoot, he said ‘No, Stop! I am the one who says yes or no, not you.’ I said ‘In that case since you almost hit my photographer and you are not polite – out! I am not giving you the privilege of having you on my tour.’ I said Beyoncé was stupid and I left.”

The matter was later cleared up after Dr. Hawass admitted he mistook Beyoncé’s white companion for a mummy escaped from one of the crypts. “I guess I should have known when the creature requested a meal of exactly eight flax seeds, yet it also demanded pure water from an ancient, engraved urn, much like a pharaoh would, so I threw a scarab at its head and called it a bitch. I was acting on reflex.”

Photos: Splash News

Tags: Beyonce