Beyoncé Bey-Beywatch Day 4: Barack’s Big Mouth

Last night Jay-Z became the first rapper of all time to be inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame. Despite it being the highest award Jay-Z has ever received and a monumental moment for the hip hop genre, Jay wasn’t there. If you’re wondering why then you haven’t been keeping up with my daily Beybey Watch (spoiler: he’s been chain smoking cigarettes and pacing behind a hospital dumpster for three days).

Instead of accepting the award via some Pepsi sponsored Skype call, Barack Obama, being the good friend that he is, handled the speech (via some Pepsi sponsored Skype call, but that’s not the point).

The crowd watching whooped and clapped as Barack telepathically reminded everyone how cool he is because he actually gives a shit about culture and that the guy sitting at his old desk hangs out with Ted Nugent. Ok, before you start hitting CAPS LOCK on words for EMPHASIS of how WRONG I am, just know that he didn’t actually mention Trump whatsoever, I’m merely just pointing out what everyone was thinking (because it’s true).

Barack eventually sent the Beyhive into their 4th Twitter tizzy in four days with this sentence:

“Jay and I are also fools for our daughters, although he’s going to have me beat once those two twins show up. And, let’s face it, we both have wives who are significantly more popular than we are.”

What’s he going to beat you in, Barack? Is it quantity of daughters or how big of a fool he can be for his one daughter he already has?!

The embilical hourglass drips on…