Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: These rehashed photo galleries from the past year. They have boobs in them. And sometimes butts.
JANUARY
Welcome to the time of the year where we slap a bunch of “Best Of” posts in the can so we can recharge our dick joke batteries amidst the tattered war zone of the holidays which has already paid off because I completely forgot about these Shakira pics that taught me a valuable lesson about the effects of picture quality on ass looking, and that is none. There’s no effect. These pics could point a gun at you and you wouldn’t give a shit.
Posted: 1.6.2012
Original Post: Grainy Shots of Shakira’s Bikini Riding Up Her Butt
Photos: Bauer-Griffin
She has one the sexiest asses I’ve ever laid my eyes on. As a porn connoisseur, I’ve seen many a sexy ass, but Shakira still has one of the best.
DAFUQ?! this pic printed onto a bed linen?
I was going to comment on the Christina Hendricks pics, and say what a disgusting fat old pig she is, but, in the spirit of the holiday and all that, I decided it’s better to focus on the positive things in life, like Shakira’s incredible ass. Last broad I saw that had an ass like Shakira was Bess Truman. Damn, you could cut a porterhouse steak with a butterknife on Bess Truman’s ass.
I like to think of myself as one who has self control, but if i saw her ass like that in real life, I would bust a nut before I could even try to plunge in. So fucking hot
I’ll never be an Argentinian prince or a head of state in some Latin country, so I’ll never tap that. Time for me to die now.
I bet she shits diamonds out of a platinum asshole.
I’m sitting here in my office thinking how much fun it would be to slap her ass with my dick. I should probably stop acting it out, though – maybe wipe down my keyboard tray, too.
what’s with the “zapruder film” quality rez here? that man should never be aloud to film ass again…unless he’s exclusively used for kardasian shoots of course.
i wonder what she was doing , masturbating????
I’d tung that ass
wow nice butt thnxs shakira
I would blow spoogee if my dick rubbed against her ass.
I would be content to slap her ass just to watch it jiggle.
She is inside a mosquito tent.
If I ever strike it big on the lottery I’d give up the entire amount of money just to be able to tongue Shakira’s asshole whenever I wanted. Well…I’d want to be able to bang her too once I’m done eating her asshole.