Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: These rehashed photo galleries from the past year. They have boobs in them. And sometimes butts.
Even though you see absolutely nothing you haven’t seen on a red carpet before and there was only one shot, the Christina Hendricks leaked photo still managed to beat an entire gallery of Nicki Minaj‘s ridiculous butt in a bikini which means only one thing: The Internet’s a racist. A horrible, horrible racist. I don’t know how it even looks at itself in the mirror.