BEST OF 2010: Lady GaGa’s Missing Penis

December 29th, 2010 // 71 Comments

5. Lady GaGa

Posted: 2.17.2010

During simpler, more innocent times, there existed a rumor that Lady GaGa was born a hermaphrodite and therefore had both male and female genitalia. Cut to the 2010 Brit Awards where her stage outfit revealed almost entirely hatchet wound and not a single trace of man-wiener. None of you believed your eyes, so you clicked these photos millions of times in what I can only assume was a frantic effort to make a penis appear. “Honey, just leave dinner on the stove. I’m not sleeping until I find that cock.” *click click click click*

Original Post: Lady GaGa Definitely Doesn’t Have a Penis

Photos: Getty


  1. yoursisterscounty

    Yep, all I see is one big useless cunt.

  2. Lady Gaga
    Commented on this photo:

    No penis but I do see her wee moustache

  3. shorty

    Yeah, this is more like it. She’s at least viewable.

  4. noooooooooo

    The best part about the story was how everyone became an expert testifying on how to hide a penis. Rolling socks into pants I could believe but tucking really did catch me off guard.

  5. Lady Gaga
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a guy. Look how she poses, with her ass back and stooped just a bit.
    Definitely hiding a sausage.

  6. McFeely Smackup

    Funny how you say “useless” and she says “cha-ching!” as she rolls wheelbarrows of money to the bank.

    I’m not sure who we should blame for the freakshow that she is, but it seems to be working out for her in the ways that matter.

  7. looking at these pics, it would be pretty much difficult to hide my own cock.

  8. Hank

    What a no-talent skank. What a sad commentary on our society that she is as popular and rich as she is. Pathetic losers.

    • …she’s talented, you may not appreciate it at all (which is fine :] I’ve never bought an album either) but it’s not like she is pretending to play or pretending to sing or pretending to write her songs, she just pretended to be a female. No biggie…. well obviously if she is able to conceal it in that.

    • Mr Big Balls

      HANK, I agree fully, he/she’s worthless as tits on a bore! I used to attend a swingers club in San Francisco, in the 80′s, was almost fooled more than once. Especially one TV walked around-long pretty hair, tall & slender, face pretty from a distance. He/she was flat as a pancake, and wore a thong to hide what he/she had HIDDEN UP THE CRACK OF THE ASS! Thank God a friend informed me of it. LADY/MAN GaGa definitely has a man’s ass and wears Mardi Gras atire TO FOOL YOU SUCKERS….

  9. GravyLeg

    Some might go back in time and kill Hitler…

    I would go back in time and kill the inventor of AutoTune.

  10. Parker

    The only thing she’s missing is my c*ck in her a$$ all night long.

    • The Homosexual Plot to Kill JFK

      Why don’t you put it there after she’s been constipated for about a week, during which time she has devoured a lot of corn?

    • Mr Big Balls

      Or it might be the other way around, PARKER! I’ve heard he/she carries K-Y jelly with her/him all the time…

  11. Lady Gaga
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what you get when a Borg and the Golem are allowed to produce offspring, You just can’t genetically engineer anything this ugly!

  12. Lady Gaga
    Commented on this photo:

    Second try: This is what you get when “7of 9″ and the Gollem are allowed to have offspring! Science simply can’t genetically engineer this weird!

  13. Lady Blah Blah

    I think we know where the missing penis went (hint: check out that tiny appendage attached to Brett Favre’s body just above his testicles).

  14. Lady Gaga
    Commented on this photo:

    she has a penis. It’s in a jar in the back of the fridge.

  15. Lady Gaga
    Commented on this photo:

    Cock hiding at it’s finest…

  16. Lady Gaga
    Commented on this photo:

    At least you don’t have to put a bag over her head when you screw her. She does it for you.

  17. Pangulin

    Sure is interesting how some of the comments just disappear shortly after they are posted…Fish is a practicing censor, now! What is the strangest part about the censorship on the Superficial is the fact that it isn’t the most egregious comments that are disappearing. Oh well, c’est la vie! Censorship is a alive and well here at the Superficial!

    • The Homosexual Plot to Kill JFK

      I’ve noticed that too. Getting rid of comments that are ads disguised as comments is one thing, getting rid of comments for no other apparent reason is odd.

  18. jon and kate plus hate

    I looked and looked at these pics and then I found a penis… my hands !!!!

  19. wim

    the big mistery is still: WHERE DID SHE HIDE IT?

    • Mr Big Balls

      With past experience at a swingers club in San Francisco, back in the 80′s, he/she GaGa slides it up the cracker of that MAN’S ASS. You all believe Lady Ga Ga is a female and I’ll sell you THE BEST SNAKE-OIL YOU’VE EVER HAD….

  20. sellout


  21. wow,so sex, Gaga really unique, clothing is simply let a person shine at the moment
    I know a place–shopindream inside dress is pretty good ,
    have a try!!!!

  22. Grand Dragon

    I like her big ol dago wop ginny booty

  23. Gando

    Hm, unless that’s a scar, i don’t see any penis indeed. Lady GaGa could have signed an official ‘me really no have penis’ document. But since we’ve all now key witnessed that she really doesn’t have any, our brothas and sistas and me are finally convinced. I guess it does clean out her record better .

    • Rhialto

      Lucky enough we’ve several ‘brothers and sisters’. But most of them are ‘sisters’ (really don’t have a penis) anyway. Turns out that it’s not always necessary to go beyond borders.

      • Gando

        But just for the entertaining factor, we could go anyway beyond borders. Lucky enough there’re still (real) humans ready to help out for any good, honest cause.

      • Rhialto

        Hmm, i guess you’re right. I guess my attitude is too protective of nature about some of these (babydoll) ‘sisters’.

  24. Bill Kurtis

    Everyone knows she had Jamie Lee Curtis surgery. It’s like Tommy John surgery except they cut your hermaphrodite dingaling off.

  25. Bimbamboing

    Is she singing live or does she lip sync?

  26. Bimbamboing

    I’d blame the fashion designers for showing her goodies.

  27. GravyLeg

    Where’s the beef?

  28. Rhialto

    I was eyeing this girl longer than you could imagine. But… There was this girl’s boyfriend and rapidly after that another one followed. So i retreated myself in the deep, dark woods. Surrounded by darkness only my red flaming predator’s eyes were visible but still focussed. Patiently waiting for the right moment…

  29. Mr Big Balls

    The question is… whether or not! Does he/she fly commercially and have to go thru security? That would answer the question!!!!!

  30. Gahh. I thought I woke up from this nightmare once already. Thanks for making me revisit it. Ass.

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