Berenice Marlohe Is The New Bond Girl
Keeping with the theme of hiring obscure European actress/models for Daniel Craig to bang, here’s Berenice Marlohe, the new Bond girl in the Sam Mendes directed Skyfall. Considering I couldn’t tell you a thing that happened in the boring-as-shit Quantum of Solace – No, wait. James Bond had a gun. – I’m guessing this is good news? Maybe? I dunno. Is she divorcing anybody? I hear that’s hot these days. Or better yet, did she birth a Bieber baby? Because, seriously, it’s time to start marketing this franchise to kids or else who the hell’s watching it?
BERENICE: James, this bomb’s totally going to explode in thirty seconds!
JAMES: Then that gives me just enough time – *unzip pants* – to pour some maple syrup…
BERENICE: Whoa! No condom?
JAMES: Pfft, girl, we’re just holding hands. In our pants…
(You’re welcome, Sony.)