Benji Madden to ensure niece Harlow dates Mr. Right

January 5th, 2009 // 32 Comments

Benji Madden has devoted himself to protecting the honor of his niece Harlow Winter Kate Madden, according to People:

“I’m going to be keeping a close eye on her,” Madden, 29, tells PEOPLE of the daughter of twin brother Joel Madden and his girlfriend Nicole Richie, 27. “I’ll leave the shotgun right by the door.”

Anyone else find it ironic that the guy who had sex with Paris Hilton is going to be dishing out dating advice? Then again, he does have access to a great object lesson.

BENJI: Nice to meet you, Timmy. Now before you take my niece out, I want to teach you kids a lesson about pre-marital intercourse. *unzips pants*
TIMMY: Jesus! What did you do? Wrap it in tin-foil then put it in the microwave?
BENJI: Something like that.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. Pathetic Worm

    “Douche”? I can’t read that tee.

    The cap tells me all I need to know.

  2. EuroNeckPain

    What an ugly guy. How desperate have you got to be to fuck that.

  3. lifestyles of the rich and the famous, always complainin

    http://www.howtolosegirls.com

  4. AJ

    Unfortunately the rich kid will grow up to be a rich spoiled adult without boundries like Nicole.

  5. the Commish

    FAIL!! This post fails on so many levels. Who the hell is Benji Madden?

    This is exactly like that time when Joe Dirt went to pick up his date with his sweet ride and proceeded to bang her brains out and then found out she was his sister. He then dedicated his life to protecting their inbred offspring for all of eternity.

  6. lola richie

    This is the best he has ever looked. Now he is cute (for a normal person).. still it will only go downhere for now.. If he stayed in this shape he would be a much better match for P H

  7. big teeth

    Pete Wentz is not the only one whose name has become a synonym for “giant effing douchebag”..

  8. Ted from Chicago

    I’ll bet my 11 year-old daughter could kick this guy’s ass. He better stick with the shotgun plan.

  9. Max Planck

    Tattoos suck.

  10. brody jenner

    Who is this guy again?

    How tall is he, 5’6″, 5’7″?

    (we represent the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild…)

  11. Holyfuck

    What a clown.

  12. fatboy

    Someone please straighten this guy’s hat.

  13. p0nk

    Harlow Winter needs to hook up with Bronx Mowgli in about 15 years for the douche apocalypse.

  14. What a punk…much like many of the posters here of late.

  15. Sport

    Great, the poor little dude is already destined to have an entire wardrobe of black shit to wear at all times. And chains.

  16. bootlips

    Wiggers are the worst. They choose to be wiggers.

  17. 10pound

    omg he is like so punk rock

  18. Boooo

    Would so-o rather do Eminem. This has got to be the ugliest wigger I’ve ever seen….

  19. Dr. Taint

    Another retard wearing the same childish clothing and bad tattoos. Grow up idiot. And F You for giving him time…stop with Hilton and Britney. More boobs.

  20. 1 MILF Hunter

    Just what the girl needs – this douche bag to protect her from douche bags like him.

  21. joey joejoe

    OH MY FUCKING GOD, I’M GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING ANEURYSM TODAY WITH THIS SHIT.
    ITS A FUCKING BASEBALL HAT DICKHEAD, THE PEAK GOES AT THE FRONT YOU FUCKING TRIHARD DOUCHEBAG. YOU WEAR THE FUCKING THING OUT IN THE SUN.
    FUCK IN HELL, CANT SOMEONE START KILLING THESE FUCKING MORONS FOR FUCKS SAKE.

  22. A real-life episode of “DUMB & DUMBER”?
    ……………………joel madden & jessica simpson, folks!!

  23. Dave

    Yea, sure, Benji. LMAO Any full grown man would take your gun from you, club you over the head, and keep it. Simple as that, sissy boy.

    I bet he’s the coolest, toughest dude on campis when he visits his old elementary and junior high schools.

  24. Dave

    “campus”

  25. me

    Looks like a wonk eye, That poor kid will grow up seeing this douchebag deluxe, his shitstain brother and Nicole as role models. He’ll be the next Boy George.

  26. will

    I’m a lovely tallish cheerleader with beautiful eyes and great skin. Give me your comments on my photos. I am always showing up at — Seekingtall.com — waiting 4 your love.

  27. He looks like he should be fighting the Russians in Chechnya.

  28. juniper

    what up wigger what up wigger. the little fag bitch.

  29. LOL

    Anyone else think it’s funny when a little rich bitch thinks that just because he got a few tattoos that he’s all of a sudden a bad ass? I’d wrap that little skinny prick around his own shotgun then beat the hell out of him just for acting like he was going to pick it up.

  30. lauren

    i think its a nice of him to do that since its his niece in all….and if i was him i will so do the same!!!!! u people are full SHIT

  31. Nic

    Seriousy all you people who are abusing and discriminating need to grow up and start looking in the mirror before you start pointing your fingers at others! Does it matter how he dresses, who he see’s, what he says? No it doesn’t!! Get over it for goodness sake and go do something useful with your lives. Obviously Benji has. I’d like to see any of you in his shoes, bet you wouldn’t make it! And for people who say he’s ugly, and ‘who could be that desperate to fuck that’, i’d like to see you posting pictures of yourselves, because I highly doubt you would fall into the attractive coloumn. Just get over it and grow the fuck up!

  32. Failed! This post fails on so many levels. Who is Benji Madden?

    This is the time when the dirt with his sweet ride was taking my date proceeded to blast him out exactly like mind and then found out that she was his sister. He then dedicated his life for all of eternity to protect their natural offspring.

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