Benji Madden really wants to put a baby in Paris Hilton

June 17th, 2008 // 47 Comments

Benji Madden has babies on the brain and wants Paris Hilton to have some on her uterus. He talked to Ryan Seacrest today and had the following response when asked if he wants children:

“Of course when you’re that happy, you think about everything. I mean, she’s my best friend. I’ve never been so happy. Nothing worries me in life anymore. When you find that best friend, that love, all your worries kind of go away. Your work gets better and everything you do, you have someone supporting you, and she’s that for me. I’ve never been supported so much.”

Huh. Benji Madden sounds surprisingly chipper for a guy whose penis is about to evaporate in 5… 4… 3… 2…. *poof*


  1. JonBenet Gesseritt


  2. PunkA

    Mr. Fish thinking: Let’s see, it’s a slow news day. So let’s post :Lilo–check or Anistonopoulos–check, or Paris–check.

    You suck today Fish. Just boring no news stories. You are off your game something fierce today.

  3. Sam

    imma go waaaaaaaaaaaaaay out on a limb here and suggest that maybe these last 2 items weren’t major new stories. but thanks for the updated skank pics. next, mebbe a nice upskirt of Wino’s hairy puspot?

  4. Benji Maddens Penis

    HAHA I have a secret for you, I cant disappear, I jumped ship the second I saw that Wonk Eyed Herped Out Hoe (WEHOH) comming for me. Want to know why he’s talking about wanting babies? CAUSE HES A CHICK NOW, all he has left is a vag. Dont worry though, Paris fucks him with one of her giant pussy Herp Soars. Ahh to be young and in love. Im going touring with the Jones Brothers and scoring me some Hanna Montanna Poonie before that gets all herped out.
    Peace out (p.s. Good Charlotte sucks but man did it get me some good action)

  5. whatever

    At least he hasn’t posted any Shitney … oh shit I shouldn’t have said that.

  6. ph7

    Benji : Gay name
    Benji quote: “she’s my best friend. I’ve never been so happy. Nothing worries me in life anymore. When you find that best friend, that love, all your worries kind of go away” – Gayest quote, ever, by a man.

  7. Lola

    great…. another bastard being created by 2 idiots…. why anyone would EVER want to sleep with this manly looking whore, without a condom and full body protection, shocks the hell outta me…… this skank’s cooter is about the size of a well by now….. how can anything even stay lodged in it? benji, you’re a pathetic douche-bag and you’re really ugly….. you have slept with all of LA and have tasted every cock your whore has ever sucked and rode….. just freaking nasty
    good luck getting rid of all your std’s and whatever creature you both create together…. you’re an even bigger joke now than you were back when you thought you were talented
    fucking worthless attention seeking brainless morons

  8. Fish Blows


    Wondering if you have a penis fetish, dude. First you give us a Tila Tequila penis joke. Then a Benji Madden penis joke. All you needed was a John Mayer no-penis joke, and you’d have hit the trifecta, you cocksucker.

  9. Auntie Kryst

    I think this is just this douchefucker’s elaborate scheme for a reason to tattoo a baby’s picture over his heart..

  10. Tobin


  11. Penis McGee

    Benji may have a penis but he has no balls. He lost them after the first movie.

  12. Eloise

    she looks pregnant…

  13. HuckyDucky

    Word to ph7.

  14. The old adage “follow the money” seems applicable here. Paris’ baby daddy will be set for life, unless she makes a withdrawal at the sperm bank…

  15. Too late Benji. I already knocked her up.

  16. Anonymous

    I seriously doubt he would be saying all this crap if she didn’t have millions.

  17. Randal

    I’m not sure having a baby is the right thing for you to do, Paris.

    Having a child is a big responsibility and if I know you like I know the other celebrities in the world, you’re still working on your career. It’s not a cabbage patch doll world when you have a little one to care for.

    How are you going to juggle your singing career or your acting career let alone the social career you have going for you?

    You’re much better off waiting until you’re at least 30. By then, you’ll have made a bigger name for yourself and have more funds and time to spend with your new family.


  18. Jackson'shole

    He should put a bullet in her instead

  19. Poop on Paris

    Who cares about Paris anymore. Her Mother is the cute one anyways. I think the paps should follow her around instead. Poop on Paris. Poop on Paris.

  20. Call CPS ASAP

    If she has a baby, it will just disappear in a few months, like what-was-his-name: Tinkerbell. Whatever became of him and all the others….

  21. Shut Up Asshole

    Her fucking gigantic metatarsals freak me the FUCK OUT!!!

  22. Lise

    How come no one has commented on her ring. It looks like she may already be married.

  23. cookie monsta

    yawn … at least she won’t need a c-section – she would have to wear a net over her hole for the last months of pregnancy cos gravity will have no hope against that gaping chasm …..

  24. Wow, you guys are so mean. Why can’t you just be happy for them??

  25. Dorito Man

    So this segment is about some dood named after a famous dog and he isn’t even in any of the pictures? Might as well be about the Queen of England..

  26. TLssss

    What MoFo doesnt want to date or marry a rich bitch like her. You guys do know why he wants to put a baby in her dont you? Shit look at Kevin and Brit! Benji is just taking tips from old Kev

  27. boo

    Whenever I hear one of these asshat guys go on and on about their love for someone, I think “gay” or “publicity stunt”. No real guy talks like that.

  28. Bob

    She is so beautiful!I love her.Maybe many men like her,too.If you want to know her more,you would go to “S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m “.She is also on “S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m “,there are a lot of reports about her.You can contact her on that site.

  29. Clem

    That actually sounds like a person making a truly sincere and honest statement about being in love and finding a partner….and then it turns out he’s talking about serial slut & squinter Paris Hilton.

  30. Good god look at those enormous, wirey feet! I bet she can swim like a fucking seal.

  31. Anonymous

    ‘”He should put a bullet in her instead”

    And while he’s at it, could he please put one in Randal also? I’d pay to see that.

  32. JimmyBachaFungool

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Boring couple. Next? How about some Robin Meade (from CNN Headline News) pics.

  33. Lola

    # 20 Randal

    How are you going to juggle your singing career or your acting career let alone the social career you have going for you?

    Really dude? How is she going to handle her “career”? Um, I’m not sure what planet you’re on but the only career this gorilla whore has made for herself is being a whore and hungry for the attention she wasn’t given as a child. Unless you count an “accidental” porn release as acting, I’d say it’s safe not to assume she’ll ever be anything more than a bony whore with no talent

  34. jrz

    I must be crazy because she’s actually looked very nice lately and not like a street walker.

  35. agree

    Leave Britney alone. She is my favorite. She will still rocks. It seems Britney is seeking true love online now. I saw her milllionairedatingsite ——”W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m**** last week. Good luck to her search.

  36. Grunion

    I wonder how many times dude got kicked in the nuts as a kid for being named Benji.

  37. TRY A DUCK.
    they both have web-feet!!

  38. Samhain

    “Your work gets better and everything you do, you have someone SUPPORTING you, and SHE’S THAT for me. I’ve never been SUPPORTED so much.”

    At least the dufus is being honest. He looks at her and sees a walking piggy bank (except the money slit is not on her back).

    No worries, everyone – Paris will NEVER go through a pregnancy. You think her feet are huge now? She’d be walking on pontoons after that!

  39. Swhat?

    I’d hate to be the doctor in the Level 3 toxic suit who has to deliver any Hilton spawn.

  40. FCS

    So having a worthless twat with no musical taste support your shitty, unoriginal faux-punk band makes you feel better does it BENJI? Awww how sweet..

  41. Uncle Tom's Cabin

    Why not. Someone already else already put herpes in there….

  42. lila

    guys, just be happy for them! it will be a cute bany (let’s hope it gets mommy’s looks and daddy’s “talent”.)
    what are they planning on calling it???
    london? beijing? rome? america…????

  43. Eva


  44. xBoUnTyHuNTeRx

    Ok, whoever wrote this need to back off of ‘attacking’ Benji Madden. You hear me? What am i going to do? Im going to ripp your eyes out and your nose off. If yo dont stop, yeah so what if i dont, i know you have a bottom feeder job that requires you to make funn of ppl, but PLEASE, lay off benji. He’s the sweetest guy in the WORLD, and just because Paris Hilton has a bad reputation doen’t mean you have to give Benji one too.

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