Your Puny Questions are Beneath Benjamin Millepied: Prince of Dance!

May 11th, 2011 // 56 Comments

I’m just now catching wind of this because, despite popular belief, I don’t aggressively follow the ballet circuit – More like quasi-obsessively – but apparently Benjamin Millepied, the father of Natalie Portman‘s unborn baby, received a “Medal of Honor” from NYU’s La Maison Francaise and acted almost exactly how you picture Benjamin Millipied acting in your head. The New York Daily News reports:

Our insider says the reporter, who was not Nocturnalist columnist Sarah Maslin Nir, playfuly asked Millepied if he had done anything “armylike” to receive his award. She was riffing on the fact that in the U.S., the Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration bestowed by the government to brave American soldiers, not French ballet dancers.
But Millepied either did not get this or chose not to be amused.
“You’re being funny?” we’re told the Francophile “snarled” at the reporter, in a performance worthy of a Darren Aronofsky film.
The worst was yet to come. As Nir wrote in The Times, shortly after her reporter politely asked, “How’s Natalie doing?” “Mr. Millepied stormed off, oozing exquisite hauteur. The kind, we suspect, that can emanate only from a ballet divo engaged to a megastar.”
Although our source says reporters had not been warned in advance to refrain from asking about Portman, Nir wrote that shortly after Millepied stalked away, “we were told by the organizers that our inquiring after Ms. Portman’s health was ‘inappropriate’ and that Mr. Millepied wanted us out.”
“Later still, we were told we could stay if we didn’t report,” Nir continues. “We left.”

“Afterwards, he pelted us with croissants before eventually surrendering per French custom. He didn’t even attempt to negotiate the terms though there was palpable tension when one reporter refused to describe his tights as ‘magnificently lustrous, yet with a dignified sheen of noble beauty.’ At that point, he began hurling his beret at us while incessantly saying, ‘Oui, oui, mon cher,’ and kissing his fingertips. He would later apologize over crepes.”

Photo: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. That would be the upside to marrying a Frenchman. She is assured to win every argument.

  2. the captain

    you need a father for your kids?
    haaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

  3. It takes a special kind of person to be offended by inquiring into the health of ones pregnant fiance…and that kind of person is a french ballet dancer. Who could ever have guessed that?

    • “Mon Dieu!! But this is about ME!! ME!!!”

    • Well, in the overly precious M. Millepied’s mind, that offensive question meant that the reporter was just not-so-subtly reminding him of the fact that if he weren’t connected to Natalie Portman, no one would be reporting shit about him because no one would care. And he’d be absolutely right.

      • Cock Dr

        LOL

      • This guy has set back the fight against negative French stereotypes at least 50 years. Just when things were getting better for them, instantly we’re back to: Surrendering, poor hygiene, mimes, unreasonably rude, and Benjamin Millipied.

      • Amy

        You know there are a million French blogs in which they mock every obese, coarse, overly-macho American and generalize to the rest of the population. That Millipied is an arrogant French ballet dancer easy to mock actually promotes a kind of bridge between our cultures: we both have similar past times – sneering at one another. IMO, we could start some type of Olympics where we put forward the apotheoses of our worst stereotypes and mock them simultaneously in the spirit of competition and xenophobia: Bush, Sarkozy, Millipied, Charlie Sheen. Just think of the advertising opportunities!

      • Ed

        Amy that’s a brilliant idea only in my version the stereotypes would compete for prizes in wacky contests and physical challenges with one being voted off the island by the audience every week. Who will win? Will it be the black guy eating fried chicken, the old lady who can’t drive, or the rude Frenchie? You decide!

      • MILF

        And just think of the prizes! KFC, berets, liver spot remover…

      • Amy

        Omg! Do you know how much I would pay to watch Millipied stuck in a room with an old lady who can’t drive and a black guy eating chicken??? Please, can we put a really angry drunk Cockney bruiser in there too?? I don’t care if one of them gets voted off the island, it just has to end up with Millipied getting the crap beat out of him.

      • Stryker

        Amy – I died laughing. That’s awesome and I’d totally watch it XD

  4. TomFrank

    Trampoline? Seriously?

  5. If there’s any justice in the world, he’ll be starring with Larry the Cable Guy in “Human Millipied”.

  6. BenDoverman

    I’m off to Doucheland everyone. Oh wait…I’m already there.

  7. Reading is Sexy

    What do you expect from a guy named “Thousand-foot”?

  8. Amy

    In a perfect world, an army of Irish stepdancers would have quite suddenly interrupted the tantrum and prevented M. Millipied’s exit, ushering in the haughty and gauche Michael Flatley who would challenge the Frenchman to a duel. Of course, neither would get seriously injured because they’d be using the sword props from Flatley’s latest Celtic extravaganza – Topless Gay Warriors who Tap Dance – but both will whine a lot, and then, after a good cry, unite forces to verbally assault reporters together and before going out for a shared sundae.

  9. Anon

    This is depressing. I agree with what McFeely said about setting back stereotypes. I am engaged to a Frenchman (well, his father, whom he hates, is French, and he has lived in France all his life). I translated this article for him and he was so disgusted. They’re not all like this!

  10. stevebeagle

    queef

  11. Cock Dr

    Kudos to the gigolo here for landing a sweet gig.
    He must have rocked that JAPs world to allow the insemination but he’s not past the finish line yet.
    Get a ring on it to seal the deal.
    He’s the ballet world’s version of K-Fed.
    Don’t get fat Benji, she’ll kick you right to the curb.

  12. Why do I get the feeling this control freak even choreographed his and Natalie’s sex routine? “Non, non, non you imbecile! You moan on zee count of 4, not 5! Start from zee beginning!”

  13. Mr Obvious

    I wouldn’t mess with him. The man floats, he’s like the Jesus of ballet. Plus, he got his penis into Natalie Portman. So he’s like Jesus but got laid.

    • Amy

      Natalie’s cute, but my god, she has the worst taste in men. Apparently, all you have to do to fuck her is be the biggest, prettiest douche of them all.

      • Colin

        I’m still confused as to why people think he’s pretty. I mean, look at that first picture. He looks like a gay Dr. House.

  14. in any form of defending him. Throwing people out over asking about Portman would be either a PR stunt or Portman ordered him not to talk about her. since he got pissed over the medal of honor thing. i’m going with both.

  15. The French have a tradition of military excellence, as seen in their brave surrendering to the Nazis before any shots were fired. This act alone may have saved the Jewel of Paris, the Eiffel Tower.

    • LEB

      You idiot. More French soldiers and civilians died in WW2 other than Germany itself. They’re right freaking next to Germany, whereas Britain is a freaking far away ISLAND with an ocean around it and at the time had one of the best naval forces in the world, and the US was too far away for the Germans to launch a ground war (and again, OCEAN). Do a little historical research before shooting your figurative mouth off.

      • Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

        OTHER THAN IN Germany itself. There was a tiny land mass called Soviet Russia not far East of Germany at the time. If you think more French soldiers and civilians died than Red Russians, you’re totally deluded. You should have written THAN IN, not OTHER THAN IN.

  16. Benjamin Millepied Trampoline
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    i still don’t believe this fruity french pastry knocked up natalie portman.
    it must be a cover for who the “real” father is

  17. The Critical Crassness

    He looks just like one of the actors in “Crouching Tigers, Hidden Dragons”..Michelle Yeoh, I think!

  18. Billy Rubin

    I thought we was a fudgepacker . How could he impregnate a non – male ?

  19. Well, now it’s “NYU’s La Maison du Freedom”. How ya’ like that, Froggy?

  20. JD

    DId he fart in the reporters’ general direction?

  21. penny

    I’m not buying his being Portmans babydaddy. I’m still going with the movies director who just so happen announce his split from longtime companion Rachel Weisz around the time Portman was sperminated.

  22. francophile

    i don’t have a strong personal opinion about this guy but i have to point out that this so called reporter started things off on the wrong foot by questioning his manhood. (which, come on guys, really sucks doesn’t it?)

    has anyone actually seen a ballet dancer or been to the ballet? (i bet the answer here is no.) these people are amazing, highly disciplined athletes and ballet is a treasured art form in france and throughout europe. what’s wrong with honoring that? just because you don’t kill others in battle doesn’t mean you are not providing something of value to the world.

    • THANKYOU

      Good grief, it’s the only sane comment here…

    • gigitastic

      It’s kind of insane how hard ballet is, A friend of mine was a ballet dancer for many years and she says it was one of the hardest things she had ever done in her life.

  23. owow

    The writer of this blog is straight up terrible. I will never visit this site again.

    But yeah Millepeen sucks, et?

  24. Elle

    what a tumbling dickweed.

  25. beetlejuice23

    i don’t get all this hate toward him.
    Millepied is one of the most successful ballet dancer and choregrapher whereas K-fed is only a wannabe dancer/dancer .
    I think it’s because Millepied is not a jew and still manage to knocked up the hottest jewish girl. It would explain why he gets all these false rumors about him being gay (he left his girlfriend of 3 yrs for Natalie) or not being the father (Ben and Nat are a couple since 2009…)
    A kinda jewish vendetta, i guess…

    • So he dumped someone for Natalie (cheater jumping on the fame wagon), knocked her up out of wedlock (lock the bitch in so he can keep her), and he completely thinks he is the shit when he isn’t (acts like a diva asshole when interviewed)? Yeah… That is TOTALLY not like K-Fed at all…

  26. For the record… Anytime the basis of an argument comes down to which douche has a more legitimate dance career, the argument is pretty much over…

  27. Elf

    Is he, like, the male version of, like, Linda McCartney, like?

  28. Tsk Tsk

    Another c*nt giving bad name to french people !

  29. “How is Nat-a-lie? Pourquoi you say ‘how is Nat-a-lie’? Did she tell you about my tutu pajamas? Oh, this ees not ‘appening. Someone donne moi un snifter of Chartreuse and a white flag.”

  30. mutterhals

    I still can’t believe Portman got knocked up by a ballerina.

  31. joeblow

    I’m sure the French are as tired of douchebags like this misrepresenting them as we are of Charlie Sheen misrepresenting us.

  32. JR

    millepied : talent & inspiration and works

  33. Benjamin Millepied Trampoline
    RockInMyPocket
    Commented on this photo:

    I have to say, a truly skilled male ballet dancer CAN still look very masculine. This guy somehow pulls it off, IMO. But haters gonna hate.

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