This Is Why You Never Drink Around Tom Cruise

By: The Superficial / September 20, 2012

“Xenu.. mindbeams.. mindbeams in my butt.. Xenu.. Tom Berenger.. sell my dad’s company.. Xenu.. Ohmygod, that woman‘s MELTING.. Xenu.. buttrays.. Xenu.. No, I don’t want a handjob, handsome midget.. Xenu.. Xenu.. E-meter? More like butt-meter! AHAHA! Xenu.. Nah, I’ll take the Marion Cotillard train home.. Xenu..”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN