Benedict Cumberbatch Is Engaged, I’m So Very Sorry For Your Loss

Presumably in an attempt to foil the Internet and anyone born after 1991, Benedict Cumberbatch announced his engagement to theater director Sophie Hunter in the “births, deaths and marriages column” of the print edition of The Times, according to PEOPLE. As for why I didn’t bother to post a picture of her, does she look like an alien and sound like Scar from The Lion King? Then what would be the point? Why doesn’t she post a picture of me? I never hear you bastards say that. I’m going to my mother’s.

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