Ben puts down cigarette, picks up baby wipes

December 8th, 2005 // 12 Comments

tn_ben_jen_pregnant_cr.jpgPeople has the latest on Ben and Jen’s new kid. Apparently it doesn’t take much to be considered a good father in Hollywood. However, if the main competition is K-Fed, then I guess he wins by default.

“Ben has been changing diapers. He’s an amazing father,” says a friend of the couple’s. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anybody happier. He’s already wrapped around Violet’s little finger.”

It’s only a matter of time before this all goes downhill. Within the next couple of months, Ben will set one of those diapers on fire with a smoldering cigarette butt. Jennifer will then dropkick him out of the house. A couple of weeks later Ben is wandering the Vegas strip aimlessly after losing a couple of million on a hand of Pai Gow.

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  1. rivercmb

    $100 says the kid is Matt Damon’s. They’ve found a way to merge their sperm and use Garney as a womb.

  2. pixel killya

    omg, Affleck is the most amazing father…and Britney is the most amazing mother, and all celebrities are just the most amazing parents ever and….oh just fuck off.

  3. HollyJ

    He may be smoking, but I’ve had two children, and based on HER smile, she’s on narcotics. For a minute there, I thought Ben was escorting The Joker.

  4. ebayfan414

    OMG He can CHANGE a diaper!!??! What an AMAZING father!!! Not. Well, actually, it is pretty good for Ben Affleck. I mean, He can’t act, he has no intelligence, and he has the same last name as that affleck duck. Changing a diaper is a huge accomplishment for him.

  5. derekd

    OK as a fellow smoker lets lay off the guy. You guys keep talking about him like he’s shotgunning crack cocaine hits through a baby straw to the child. And yes even though Affleck is a goober who can’t act for shit comparing him to K-Fed is like comparing hetero sex with gay sex: One technically works, the other technically doesn’t.(even though being married to Britney is a job unto itself).

  6. derekd

    OK as a fellow smoker lets lay off the guy. You guys keep talking about him like he’s shotgunning crack cocaine hits through a baby straw to the child. And yes even though Affleck is a goober who can’t act for shit comparing him to K-Fed is like comparing hetero sex with gay sex: One technically works, the other technically doesn’t.(even though being married to Britney is a job unto itself).

  7. Is that Ben’s gay, evil twin in the picture?

  8. BadGoat

    Yes, it’s funny how celebrities are lauded for doing the same things the rest of us do all the time. He changes diapers, that’s good, but I don’t think that makes him an amzaing father. Regardless, it’s a good thing to give the live-in nanny a break during her day by helping change the baby. Amazing!

  9. jb

    Anyone notice that his kid’s named after Gwenneth Paltrow’s character in Shakespeare In Love? Kind of weird to name your daughter after your ex-girlfriend’s character in the movie you worked on together. But not as weird as naming your daughter after a piece of fruit, so OK, I guess he IS an amazing dad.

  10. derekd

    I totally forgot that Ben hit Paltrow. She has made her rounds! Rumor has it she’s a fuck machine too. Although she doesn’t particularly do anything for me. Yes! Yes! I know! She’ll lose seconds of sleep over it during her entire lifetime! Oh yeah and Jen Garner is BUTT UGLY!!!!!

  11. Grope For Luna

    Ben is starting to look like High Pitch Eric from the Stern show.

  12. And yes, although Affleck is Goober can not act for shit comparing to K-Fed is like sex gay sex straight: One of the technical works, the other is not technically

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