Cooter From Dukes of Hazzard Says Confederate Flag Stands For Family

Ben Jones who played “Cooter” on The Dukes of Hazzard would like all you libruls – who are the real bigots – to know that the Confederate flag is a symbol of “courage and family and good times” and not all this other stuff like racism and what have you. Which sadly probably echoes what shit-tons of you are seeing in Facebook feeds and local news comment threads across the country where rational adults with a basic understanding of history are being told to just “Google it,” and apparently some sort of magic will happen that erases official documents specifically stating, “Heads up, the Confederacy’s all about slavery because The Bible says we can use black people like cattle.” Not to mention, the Confederate flag only recently rose to prominence in the 1960s to protest desegregation and the civil rights movement, but don’t let that distract you from a man named Cooter yelling in all-caps that the Rebel flag’s really all about family fun because everyone knows historical documents are the devil’s handiwork. Via Facebook:

TO ALL OF OUR FRIENDS AND FANS FROM BEN JONES AKA “COOTER”

I THINK ALL OF HAZZARD NATION UNDERSTANDS THAT THE CONFEDERATE BATTLE FLAG IS THE SYMBOL THAT REPRESENTS THE INDOMITABLE SPIRIT OF INDEPENDENCE WHICH KEEPS US “MAKIN’ OUR WAY THE ONLY WAY WE KNOW HOW.”

THAT FLAG ON TOP OF THE GENERAL LEE MADE A STATEMENT THAT THE VALUES OF THE RURAL SOUTH WERE THE VALUES OF COURAGE AND FAMILY AND GOOD TIMES.

OUR BELOVED SYMBOL IS NOW BEING ATTACKED IN A WAVE OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS THAT IS UNPRECEDENTED IN OUR NATION OF FREE SPEECH AND FREE EXPRESSION. ACTIVISTS AND POLITICIANS ARE VILLIFYING SOUTHERN CULTURE AND OUR HERITAGE AS BEING BIGOTED AND RACIST. WE KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT THE CASE. AND WE KNOW THAT IN HAZZARD COUNTY THERE WAS NEVER ANY RACISM.

THOUGH THE FLAG HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM SUCH PLACES AS WALMART, TARGET AND AMAZON, IT WILL NEVER BE REMOVED FROM ANY OF OUR COOTER’S STORES AND MUSEUMS. WE ARE ALL THE SAME GOOD PEOPLE TODAY THAT WE WERE LAST WEEK AND LAST YEAR AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE SHAMED INTO TURNING OUR BACKS ON OUR HERITAGE AND OUR CONVICTIONS.

WE ARE NOT RACISTS. WE DESPISE RACISM AND BIGOTRY. AND WE THINK THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CREATING THIS “CULTURAL CLEANSING” ARE THE REAL BIGOTS IN THIS STORY.

WHEN WE SAY OUR FLAG STANDS FOR “HERITAGE, NOT HATE” AND “PRIDE, NOT PREJUDICE”, WE MEAN IT. AND WE BELIEVE THAT OLD SAYING, “YOU CAN’T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING IF YOU FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM.”

COOTER’S IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO SELL OUR SOUTHERN SYMBOLS AS LONG AS THERE IS A COOTER’S. I WILL FIGHT THESE PEOPLE UNTIL HELL FREEZES OVER, AND THEN I WILL FIGHT THEM ON THE ICE.

Photo: AP