Ben Affleck Is Writing ‘The Batman’ Script, Alright? Jesus

“Sparks remind me of my mom.” TSSSSHAKK.

Over the holidays, Ben Affleck started saying things that sounded a lot like he’s about to bail on writing, directing, and possibly even starring in The Batman. However, this week he really didn’t make things better by giving a series of interviews that bounced back and forth between confirming he’ll direct to hedging his bets because, “Holy shit, the suit, Chahleen. It’s fackin’ haht.” – Shortly before this post went live, he started floating Sienna Miller as Catwoman, so he’s all over the map. – However, one constant is that he is working on the script, but it’d be nice if you gahddamn nerds got off his back, alright? This shit’s fackin’ hahd, and he doesn’t need you ridin’ his bawls, gettin’ em all deflated and and den Tahmmy Touchdown’s in gahddamn trouble again. (True Story: Ben Affleck seriously refers to Tom Brady as “Touchdown Tommy.” You can’t make this shit up.)

Fortunately, we’re on Ben Affleck’s side because here are exclusive photos of his screenwriting process as he gets to work on The Batman. Right hand to Gahd.

ben affleck vaping
♫ SHOUT! SHOUT! ♫
 

kris jenner darkness legend devil
♫ SHOUT AT THE DEVIL! ♫ “Look, just do whatever Zack Snyder wants.”
 

ben affleck vaping
♫ SHOUT! SHOUT! ♫ “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
 

kris jenner darkness legend devil
♫ SHOUT AT THE DEVIL! ♫ “I always am. Now gimme some of that vape.”
 

ben affleck vaping
“What? Gross.” ♫ SHOUT! SHOUT! ♫
 

kris jenner darkness legend devil
“….”
 

ben affleck vaping
“Fine.”
 

kris jenner darkness legend devil
♫ SHOUT AT THE DEVIL! ♫

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Photo: Warner Bros.