Ben Affleck Isn’t Directing His Own Freakin’ Batman Movie

First off, before the Boston accents and vaping memes start flying because I have a very limited bag of tricks, I want everyone to fully appreciate what’s happening just to the left of Ben Affleck while he’s sandwiched between Gal Gadot and Amy Adams.

henry cavill jesse eisenberg
“Can I stand over by Ben? I’m Superman.”
“No, you’re moody, crying Superman that nobody likes. Now shut up and smile next to Piss Jar Lex Luthor or your girlfriend gets detention.”
“Okay.”

Will I ever get tired of ragging on that movie? No. No, I will not. Which brings us to the latest news that Ben Affleck has stepped down as the director of The Batman, which shouldn’t come as any sort of surprise after he lost $75 million on Live By Night and also spent its entire promotional tour bitching about being Batman. Variety reports:

Affleck is still on board to play the superhero, but sources close to the talent said Affleck and Warner Bros., after discussing how to best make the film possible, came to the decision together.
“There are certain characters who hold a special place in the hearts of millions,” Affleck said in a statement. “Performing this role demands focus, passion and the very best performance I can give. It has become clear that I cannot do both jobs to the level they require. Together with the studio, I have decided to find a partner in a director who will collaborate with me on this massive film. I am still in this, and we are making it, but we are currently looking for a director. I remain extremely committed to this project, and look forward to bringing this to life for fans around the world.”

According to Variety, Matt Reeves is at the top of Ben Affleck’s shortlist, but never rule out the possibility that this is happening in a boardroom right now.

*SNOOORRRRTTTTTTTTT* “I got it! Zack Snyder! We get Zack Snyder to do it! God, this shit is gooooooood.”

Haha, Hollywood. Back to Ben.

ben affleck vaping
♫ There’s this girl that’s been on my mind, all the time… ♫
“Fack. Fack fack fack. FACK!”
♫ Su-Su-Sussudio oh oh ♫
“FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK!”

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Photos: Getty