Ben Affleck Went To Rehab

“Brie Lahson fackin’ hates ya. The gahddamn intahnet fackin’ hates ya. I fackin’ hate ya. Where’s your Oscah now, huh?”
“Alright, big guy, you got whiskey comin’ outta ya tits. Let’s wahk it ahff…”

In a statement on his Facebook page, Ben Affleck announced that he successfully completed rehab for alcohol addiction:

I have completed treatment for alcohol addiction; something I’ve dealt with in the past and will continue to confront. I want to live life to the fullest and be the best father I can be. I want my kids to know there is no shame in getting help when you need it, and to be a source of strength for anyone out there who needs help but is afraid to take the first step. I’m lucky to have the love of my family and friends, including my co-parent, Jen, who has supported me and cared for our kids as I’ve done the work I set out to do. This was the first of many steps being taken towards a positive recovery.

Naturally, the internet expressed concerned about his well-being, except just kidding, it wanted to make sure he was still going to be a shitty Batman in those shitty Batman movies. reports:

According to a source, Affleck’s alcohol addiction treatment didn’t affect his involvement in The Batman, and he’s still working on the script for the planned sequel with D.C.’s chief creative officer Geoff Johns. It was announced last month that Matt Reeves (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes) will take over Affleck’s directing duties though the actor will still star in the yet-to-be-greenlit film.

Of course, you’re probably wondering if I’m still going to do my stupid Ben Affleck memes now that I know he’s been battling alcoholism, and the answer is yes. Yes, I am. Are you fucking kidding me?

ben affleck boobs
“Hey fellas, I just want you to know I fackin’ love ya. I know you’re just out here doin’ a jahb, tryin’ to put food on the table, and if my tits do that for ya, well then Gahd love ya. I’ll see ya around.” *opens car door*


“Chahleen says I need more positive music. She’s so wickid smaht. Kicks me in the face all the time, but ya know, I gaht it comin’.”

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Photo: Getty