“GEETTT OUUTTTT OF MYYYYY VAAAAAA GIIIII NAAAAAA.”
While promoting her new movie The Odd Life of Timothy Green, Jennifer Garner surprisingly confirmed tabloid rumors that Ben Affleck really does want to shove a fourth baby in her, but then made it clear she’ll roundhouse his dick off if he even tries it. Extra reports:
“The fact that Ben wants another IS true… I can tell you that would be a pretty uphill battle with me. I am not anticipating having any more kids!”
When asked why she’d make her husband look like Jim-Bob Duggar, Jennifer Garner responded, “Probably because by the time I found out about Blake Lively, the asshole had already crammed another brat in me. RYAN REYNOLDS IS ALL PART OF MY PLAN, BITCH. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
they have three children?
May as well, it’s not like you’re going to save that cooch at this point. I’m pretty sure there is no returning to that spandex Elektra suit ever again. So just go ahead and let yourself go. Either way, he’s still going to cheat on you.
And, hey, you can always get plastic surgery to make yourself look beautiful again, like Janice Dickinson.
And thus, with the help of my printer, scissors, and some Elmer’s Glue, my Jennifer Garner sex doll is complete.
What? She should’ve used seven different types of birth control from the very beginning. God, I hate kids.
I don’t hate kids, but they are fucking annoying and I don’t want any anytime soon.
I don’t want any ever. Poor Don. Sounds like you’re going to have to find a different future wife.
I don’t want any ever either.
LOL!
Not really. Our relationship is open remember? I can make my kids with another woman.
Oh, yeah! Good thinkin’.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a horse of course
That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.
Go right to the source and ask the horse
He’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse.
He’s always on a steady course.
Talk to Mr. Ed.
People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day
But Mister Ed will never speak unless he has something to say.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And this one’ll talk ’til his voice is hoarse.
You never heard of a talking horse?
Well listen to this.
I am Mister Ed.
Skin tight red dress. Lips some arab countries consider illegal for being too pornographic. Strutting her hot MILF body up and down for everyone to see making her husband jealous. While taunting Ben he’s no longer king of her castle. Either she enjoys being raped by her husband or she didn’t think this through.
“And this is my impression of an angry duck having an orgasm!”
Damn, I still want to get me some.
mmhmm, put that d1ck in my mouth n1gga
I know now how she keeps a man. It damn sure isn’t her condescending personality.
Being a mom has done her body good! DAYUM!
involuntary reaction to sighting Lebron James…
Mommy boobs…
She really does look like a rat.
Affleck should make her pick up the remote with her beaver.
What’s with the sex doll pose?
I’d definitely bang her. Wouldn’t want her to have my kid though. I’d probably just ram it up her butt and have some fun with her mouth.
I would like to try to launch my ejaculate into her mouth from a distance and see how accurate I can be.