Ben Affleck Is “Fackin Stoked” Jennifer Isn’t Taking His Favorite Patriots T Shirt In Divorce
Keeping up with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s split is getting more tiresome than the fact that “2 Broke Girls” is still on television. Now the couple has finally put pen to paper and filed for divorce. According to sources, both of their identical petitions were submitted without lawyers and the filing was “super amicable.”
Jennifer won’t be getting the 8-bit Patriots shirt that Ben Affleck hasn’t changed out of in 3 months off his back, but she will be keeping half of their earnings while they were together, as there was no prenup.
“I was fackin floohrd when I found out Jen and I were gonna be cool about everything and split my crap 50/50. She’s the best though, I fackin sweah, she’s letting me keep ahll my Nomar Garciaparra memorabilia and this sweet Pats tee. Have I showed you this? It’s in Super Mahrio video game style- check it out, kid.“
It’s been a year since the initial announcement that the couple were getting a divorce. Despite rumors that they may have been getting back together (and Ben’s struggles with the sauce), it’s finally official and Ben can go back to doing what he does best… being a good fackin fahthah.