Holy Ben Affleck’s Butt Crack, Batman!

July 29th, 2014 // 17 Comments
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I’m shooting myself in the face for that headline. Don’t worry.

When my parents watched me head out for college 16 years ago, they watched with wonder as I even went in the first place, Mom, and somehow graduated without dropping out after a year to get married, Dad. There I was, an honest-to-God college graduate with a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a wealth of opportunities ahead of me (that paid less than Applebee’s, so I just worked there). I had surpassed them in every way. Or at least I did until today when I posted photos of Ben Affleck‘s ass crack to the Internet, so fuck it, you win. You guys win. College is bullshit. I don’t even remember what I learned there, and it still feels funny when I pee. Can I sleep in your bed?

Photos: SPOT/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Ben Affleck Butt Crack
    Brian G
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks photoshopped.

  2. Cock Dr

    BUTTMAN

  3. college is pretty bullshit, but if you want to get into total bullshit, let’s talk about graduate school.

  4. Short Round

    Welcome Fish to the ever widening group of enlightened individuals who realized – based on nothing they learned at college – that higher education is worthless. Had my epiphany about 8 years ago. Ever since I just call my diploma the world’s most expensive toilet paper.

    • So if you hire a doctor to treat you or a lawyer to handle a case for you, you wouldn’t insist that they had an actual advanced degree?

      • Short Round

        If you can be impressed solely by a fancy diploma I feel sorry for you. An advanced degree in itself doesn’t make you knowledgeable or skilled in your field. My parents were great doctors. Some of their colleagues not so much and they had the same diploma. It’s certainly an important formality in many fields but beyond that what matters is how well you can actually do your job and in many parts of life you can be successful without one too.

  5. I’m amazed that the area immediately around the crack is even more pale and peachy than the backside itself.

  6. Wouldn’t that be “bat crack”?

  7. secret entrance to the Bat Cave.

  8. Ben Affleck Butt Crack
    Commented on this photo:

    Paparazzi’s Wife: “Hey honey, how was your day?”
    Paparazzi: “Great !, I got a shot of Ben Affleck’s Butt Crack”

  9. Ben Affleck Butt Crack
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll put my 340 A-body up against your Chevelle any day Ben.

  10. buttcrackfleck!

  11. Ben Affleck Butt Crack
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that that perfectly good ’66 Chevelle that he fucked up by completely messing with it’s interior? I think he gave it a Jetsons space age makeover.

  12. Scott

    I love the combination of college education debate and butt crack comments that only you, Fish, can make happen. Your parents have a lot to be proud of – this site is hilarious and your writing is some of the best satirical writing on the web. Yes college is worth something if it put you on this path.

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