I’ve Come Around To Ben Affleck As Batman

August 26th, 2013 // 35 Comments
Ben Affleck

[Insert Batman talking in a Boston accent here. It'll be hilarious.]

When Ben Affleck was announced as the new Batman in Zack Snyder‘s sequel to Man of Steel, the Internet was, well, the Internet. And understandably so considering Daredevil was a fiery shit into comic book fans’ long boxes – *brushes dust off penis* – and acting really isn’t Ben Affleck’s strong suit. However, directing is, so here’s where “it gets better” because it was completely respectable just then to draw allusions to concern over who’s playing Batman with the plight of being a homosexual in a country whose societal norms are still dominated by religious horseshit. THR reports:

Affleck’s presence also hedges the movie against Nolan’s greatly lessened involvement. Nolan was heavily involved in Man of Steel‘s story and postproduction, and was instrumental in the studio’s choice of Snyder as a director. But he’s busy in Canada shooting Interstellar, his sci-fi adventure movie. Affleck has also demonstrated Oscar-caliber chops as a director and writer, which should prove handy on Snyder’s set.

The deal also potentially lines Affleck up to star in (and direct?) Warner Bros.’ answer to The Avengers: The eventual Justice League movie.

THR also points out that Affleck was the studio’s third choice after asking Josh Brolin first, who would’ve been awesome but also used to beat Ma Kent in real life, so yeah, and then Ryan Gosling who fortunately doesn’t think sequels deserve to hold hands and get ice cream, girl. However, with Affleck they now have an accomplished director reining Zack Snyder in which I personally believe Christopher Nolan didn’t even bother doing – Just watch the last hour of Man of Steel. – because he stopped giving a shit about comic book movies sometime during The Dark Knight Rises. So on that note, I’ll be impressed with Affleck if his first order of business is kicking Frank Miller right the fuck off set because he’s a goddamn crazy person, and then immediately demanding this scene be added in:

BRUCE
I was listening in a tree when you were talking to Lois. Your dad didn’t really
die in a tornado, did he?

CLARK
Ha! No. But he did leave us to build a baseball field for ghosts.

BRUCE
At least he wasn’t murdered in front of your eyes when you were a child.

CLARK
Wow. You just go right for that, don’t you?

BRUCE
I’m Batman.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. alex

    Joss agrees with you, via Twitter:

    “Affleck’ll crush it. He’s got the chops, he’s got the chin — just needs the material. Affleck & Cavill toe to toe — I’m in.”

  2. bleg

    I’m sorry, but no. Tilda Swinton would make a better fucking Batman. Call the franchise dead and let’s all move on and begin the grieving process.

  3. EricLR

    Throw in a scene where Batman tells Superman that he’s always secretly loved him, and I’m in!

  4. Im too distracted by the pop-up ads for vaginal supplies and mail order colostomy kits to be able to pay much attention to Ben Affleck.

    I will say though that the dude narrowly escaped the clutches of that latina skank, Jenni from the Hood.

    • Jason

      What do you search the internet for to get those kind of ads targeted toward you? It seems you are a piece of your own undoing.

  5. Affleck is an overrated actor AND director. Don’t see why Argo was considered by so many to be awesome. It was merely good, not great. They got in a plane at the end and sped away to freedom, big whoop. The airplane chase at the end of Toy Story 2 had way more excitement. Josh Brolin would have been awesome as the world-weary Batman / Bruce Wayne. Way way more dramatic range than Affleck could ever have. How can Warner Bros., Zack Snyder, et al. be so stupid in not casting him. And Fish, the film does not need another director (Affleck) on set butting heads with Snyder co-directing as if they were the Wachowskis or Hughes brothers. They need someone to play Batman, not someone to second-guess Snyder!

    • Canuckcutiepie

      Overrated? You’re kidding me, right? How can you be overrated when nobody even likes you in the first place? For all we know, he’s underrated but we’ll never know the truth because he’s like the Nickleback of hollywood…

    • Damn right. Last thing you want on a movie set is your lead setting the director straight. You might try and get a half-decent director in the first place, but those clowns in Hollywood don’t get the big bucks for making decisions a ten years-old would have made!

  6. CrashHell

    Hell Yeah!

  7. Jenn

    Everyone shit bricks about Heath Ledger being the Joker. They wanted Johnny Depp. I can’t imagine Jackass Sparrow in that role now that I’ve seen Ledger do that dark scary chaotic thing he did.

    Tom Crazy Cruise did the same with Lestat, in Anne Rice’s vamp movie, I despise him, but he owned that shit. Stuart Townsend..nope.

    I liked Ben in Hollywoodland, as Reeves, the Man of Steel. As for Daredevil, my nerdy husband re-watched in some weird ass attempt to resign himself to his Ben/Batman fate. It’s not so awful. Of course, the nostalgia factor may have something to with it, Jen and Ben are married now, watching them I fancied I saw them fall in lurrrv. (Hurl). Michael Clark Duncan has passed away, and I still miss him. There’s the soundtrack, which I don’t remember being that awesome.

    Anyway, I’ll give him a chance, and if he sucks, then I’ll talk shit about him. He really was the fuckin bomb in Phantoms.

  8. carrolce

    whatevs about Frank Miller, what they really need is to get Grant Morrison up in this properly, they totally blanked him from the Man of Steel process and the film is far the worse for it.

  9. Ronaldo

    its funny to read comments from a bunch of people who have no weight or any matter in the movie business making claims who is good or not to play batman. Lets wait until the movie comes out. Affleck fits the part, he is older, tall, white/black hair and in physical shape. Give him a chance.

    • Ah yes, the old ‘if you’re not in the business and famous you can’t have a valid opinion’ meme. Hurr durr.

    • This makes about as much sense as telling someone they can’t dislike certain dishes because they aren’t a chef themselves.

    • Interesting. Put down everyone for having an opinion, then approve of the Ben Affleck casting as Batman, thereby giving your own opinion. Even his character Holden from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Would agree: Holden: “The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.”

  10. Give it a soundtrack by the Dropkick Murphys and I’ll give it a chance.

  11. Eric Stark

    “Affleck. He was the bomb in Phantoms. Yo!”

  12. I was ok with it from the start. I’ll wait to see his performance, then talk shit if it’s warranted.

  13. Good director or not, it won’t make up for his lackluster acting.

  14. This movie will be a disaester. You said it best with “Daredevil.” This angering #batman fans everywhere!

  15. GonnaSuck

    Park da car, Alfred.
    How do you like dem apples, Jokah?
    Go fuck ya motha.

  16. SuckSuck

    Heya Robin, take a gander at ma utility belt. It’s wicked awesome!

  17. JoShmo

    What they need to do is get Matt Damon as Supes and have Kevin Smith direct it.

  18. Disco Dave

    Affleck is hit and miss. I thought The Town was up there with Heat in terms of outstanding modern examples of crime cinema.

    I found Argo quite boring yet Affleck was decent in the role.

    The bigger wildcard is Snyder. His only great movie was Dawn of the Dead. And let’s face it, this Batman/Superman movie is expected to be great by studio and fanboy alike. It tanks and there goes the Justice League movie.

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