Barron Hilton keeps the family name strong

February 13th, 2008 // 49 Comments

Officers arrested Paris’ little brother Barron Hilton for DUI yesterday. The 18-year-old apparently had a 0.14 BAC and a fake ID on him, according to NY Daily News:

Witnesses said the allegedly tanked-up teen was driving around the station in circles – chased by two men in a gray pickup who eventually confiscated his keys.
“He was wandering around the gas station just looking very drunk,” said Manuel Olloh, who works at the gas station. “He was walking really, really funny.”

The first person Barron called to bail him out was his big(footed) sister Paris. She didn’t feel like coughing up the two grand to spring him and neither did her parents. TMZ reports:

We’re told Paris rejected her brother’s request, telling her 18-year-old brother, “You’re going to learn your lesson.” TMZ also knows Paris was “very upset and very disappointed in him.”

Moral lessons from Paris Hilton? I, uh – oh no. Not again! *head explodes*

Photo: Pacific Coast News

  1. Good work Barron, probably won’t be locked up for long like his sister

  2. WhoCares

    ugly fucker. Who cares!!!

  3. Bob

    And what lesson do you think that was exactly? Don’t drink and drive? Or just don’t get caught like a common drunk?

    For some reason I don’t think endangering the lives of others is all that much of a concern for the Hilton family, otherwise they’d have locked up Paris’ vagina long ago.

  4. 5m00

    I have to wonder whether or not it was a coincidence that the current background image is an ad for amaretto.

  5. fergernauster

    Blah… blah… blah… who cares… blah… blah… blah…

    I need to hear more about Tyra Banks’ beshittled underpanties. Now THAT’S a story…

  6. Bucksta

    Paris had spent all her bail-out money on dog sweaters and studded collars!

  7. Bucksta

    Paris had spent all her bail-out money on dog sweaters and studded collars!

  8. Hot

  9. Bucksta

    damn button!

  10. lipper

    I think he’s been making out with Britney, they’re sharing zits by the look of it.

    Pro active REALLY does work. Lud.

  11. Anthony Michael Hall is aging nicely.

  12. whatever

    #11 – HAHA I thought I was the only one who felt that way.

  13. Auntie Kryst

    Fake ID on him…McLoven? Naw that was too easy. I want to know what the little punk was drinking. If it was some sissy ass wine coolers, I say throw him into lock-up so he can man up. If it was case of Little Kings, well then good on you young man. I used to get drunk on Little Kings at that age. I didn’t have the Mercedes though…

  14. Oh yeah, and proof positive that that is NOT Paris’ real nose…

  15. my comment

    Ever read the book, SAVAGE GRACE?

    It’s the true story of the empty lives of the super rich Bakelite plastics heirs. The great-grandson of the plastics inventor ended up stabbing his mother to death and was imprisoned in England.

    There’s a movie coming out. Hopefully life imitates art here…

  16. Sloane

    I saw him getting cuffed at the 76 on my way home from bootcamp at 6:58 AM. What is with this family?!

  17. fergernauster

    N’ermind about this spoilt little pimpled fuck.

    Tyra Banks SHIT HER PANTS, PEOPLE!!!

    Imagine the stink of that curdled mess.

  18. D. Richards (Sadist.)

    People magazine is reporting that a big, burly, disgusting, truck-driver lookin’ bear homosexual made little Barron his bitch for the night.

    Apparently, The Bear pulled an ATM, then came all over the tyke’s pimpled, greasy face.

  19. digdug

    Per Paris ” I don’t have a brother”

  20. fergernauster

    I’d rather glean the details of Tyra Banks’ poopy mishap, Superfish.

    Man, that woman is R-A-N-K.

  21. mimi

    Thanks for the virus, Fish-head!

  22. fergernauster

    TYRA BANKS drops a hot, steaming load in her drawers during New York Fashion Week!!!

  23. I remember my first DUI, why, I was just a wee little girl of about 12 or 13. Barely knew how to drive. Man that was a long time ago. Back then laws were different, I think the legal limit was like .5 or something and you could get out of jail for all the pixie sticks in your Hello Kitty purse. Well, that and a handjob.

    Guess Barron was out of Pixie Sticks..

  24. Jennifer

    I am just a bit curious…His profile was found on millionaire dating site”BillionaireCupid dot com’last week.

  25. Drunky Joe

    If I ever get rich, say 11M or more, first thing I’m doing is hiring a driver. WTF is wrong with these inbreds? Driving is not fun – it’s a pain in the ass, even with a sports car ’cause police exist..

  26. 1 MILF Hunter

    #11 – just what I was thinking!!

    He needs to get some of Jessica Simpson’s Proactive to clear up those monster zits.

  27. Cap'n Pickles

    You know what Tyra shat out of her red, steaming anus? She released number 24, gushing out of her hairy hole like a freshly tapped quarter barrel, gazed upon the pool of acidic intestinal juices mixed with chunks of necrotic cells and rotting proteins, and called it Jennifer.

  28. Clem

    He should be made to shag his wonky-eyed, dolt of a sister.

  29. Anonymous


    Why won’t you contact me? I want to share my joy with you and invite you to my wedding! I met a wonderful, rich 78-year old widow on your site and we are getting married! You and your website have made me so happy, I want to share my happiness with you! Please contact me so that I may invite you to the wedding! I have you and your wonderful website to thank for making me so happy. Please contact me! Thank you so much!!

  30. Jeezy

    Hey Brianna,

    Your stupid site is shit. Don’t post that crap around here.

  31. haqikah

    It runs in the family.

  32. Sofia

    He looks like Anthony Michael Hall in the 80′s. The Breakfast Club, 16 Candles, Wierd Science and I think License to Drive.

  33. Snarf

    Are you really posting stories about Paris Hilton’s little brother?

    When Tyra Banks just shit her pants and tried to sue a cancer patient?

    Give me a fucking break.

  34. About Blank

    I don’t get it …………….
    All the money this fucking family has and the damned kids get DUI’s ……
    Man …. I would have a freaking limo just to go to the mail-box and back.
    Hell, if he likes to drink liquor that much, why not take the Rolls with a driver? Kick back and get hammered all day while someone else does the driving?
    I don’t know ……. seems money breeds more stupidity than anything else

  35. Gerald_Tarrant

    You people should leave Farmer Ted alone. He was just trying to impress Samantha Baker so she would forget about Jake Ryan.

  36. tcane

    hey, 0.14, that’s what i blew! and i was only 17.

  37. Tapeworm

    I hope the little Brillo-headed fag spends a night in jail getting gang-raped by Vinny and Bruno.

    Those fucking $100 bills can’t hear you scream, bitch. Bruno’s gonna toss your salad, you cock-sucking faggot.

  38. FCS

    My god, Anthony Micheal Hall hasn’t aged a day in over ten years ! Spooky.

    Wierd Science indeed..

  39. Grunion

    Hey Tapeworm, don’t hold back man, tell us how you really feel.

  40. veroonica

    37. MMMmmmm. Tossed salad. You’ve gone and made me hungry for lunch!

  41. s0fa

    paris hilton has a brother? what?

  42. gert

    TWO brothers man what a bleak future for us readers they ugly as the night

  43. ChochaRica

    On the next America’s Next Top Model:

    “Congratulations Chanté, you are in the run towards becoming America’s Next… (throoooooooshhhhhhhhh, platz!) ooops! Gotta go!”

  44. Drunk Hiltons

    Wow, I thought you had to be 21 to drink in California, he’s 18 but looks like 12. Just where did he get his drink on.

  45. tc

    His shit cutter is mine!

  46. adkre

    bad boy.I have seen his photo on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named “Searching Millionaire dot com”.Seems he has joined it for several months now.


    The family name? Isn’t the family name Harris?? On one of Barron Hilton’s birth certificates his surname is clearly Harris, and his forename is not Barron!

  48. He’ll be Baron his pimply little ass to some Vatos in county.

  49. KingBling

    Apparently he is going to conceal his identity using a real Cheesey name next time. He was thinking of Barron Stilton

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