Barbara Walters Will Defend Woody Allen Now

Because The View is a place where you can find the greatest minds of our generation navigating hot-button issues so you don’t have to, here’s Barbara Walters explaining how there’s no way Woody Allen could’ve molested Dylan Farrow because he’s such a sweet man which has never backfired before in the history of child molestation, that puts all this to bed. Case closed. Via NY Daily News:

“I have rarely seen a father as sensitive, as loving and as caring as Woody is and Soon-Yi to these two girls (referring to the now married couple’s daughters together.) I don’t know about Dylan. I can only tell you what I have seen now,” the 84-year-old TV personality said.

And Barbara Walters has a point. If someone’s a child molester, the very first thing they do is molest kids right in front of other people and not via a systematic and secretive process of grooming and deflection. They’re a very open and upfront breed, not to mention Bawbwa’s a journalist, so she can sense these things. It’s her powah, deawie. So now that that’s settled, I can just throw away this post from a child abuse investigator who details just how fucked up the entire forensic process was in 1993 when dealing with child molestation cases in general without even getting into Woody Allen’s wealth. Not much point to it now, amirite? Which is good because now we can tackle real problems like how the fuck Dana Loesch sitting next to Jenny McCarthy didn’t create a polar vortex of dumb that consumed us all. Or maybe it did, and Hell is reading and/or writing this site. I could see that happening.

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