Barbara Walters Is Awesome

December 15th, 2011 // 77 Comments
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“This white bitch won’t feed us until people forget her wedding! SAVE US, SEAN PENN!”

You can tell someone who wasn’t Barbara Walters made the decision to include the Kardashians on her 18th annual “10 Most Fascinating People” special because she wasted absolutely no time ripping into them like the horny, dagger-clawed grandmother I oft fantasize about in my dreams. Via HuffPost Celebrity:

“You don’t really act; you don’t sing; you don’t dance. You don’t have any — forgive me — any talent,” Walters told the family.
“But we’re still entertaining people,” explained Khloe, as Kim chimed in offering her thoughts:
“I think it’s more of a challenge for you to go on a reality show and get people to fall in love with you for being you, so there is definitely a lot more pressure, I think for being famous for being ourselves.”
But Walters wanted to know about what Kim is perhaps most famous for — her 2007 sex tape with singer Ray J — asking if in hindsight the sex tape was a “good thing to have done?”
“I have made mistakes in my life, for sure,” Kim admitted as mom and manager Kris jumped in reminding her daughter with the obligatory comment, “You learned a lot from that.”

And, of course, like clockwork Kris Jenner attempted to sell that she’s capable of non-whoring human emotions and that crying wouldn’t immediately shatter her face turning her into the Red Skull:

Jenner told Walters the experience was “devastating for the whole family and you cry yourself to sleep for a few nights, then you hire a really good attorney and try to make something, you know, better happen.”

If Kris Jenner was doing anything those nights, it was throwing beef jerky down into the basement for Khloe lying awake wondering if she should’ve let two black guys pee on Kim because that would’ve meant double the money and double the famous. The math’s all there.

Photos: Splash News

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  1. Randal

    Give lots of respect to Kim for facing the music and dancing to it too with true poise and class. It’s her image and helping the less fortunate that has raised her status through-out the years, just like Diana once did.

    Randal

    • Jiminy Cryptic

      Diana pissed on her too?

    • The Kuntrashians don’t give a piss about the less-fortunate. It’s all about getting themselves in the news.

    • Clarence Beeks

      yeah, so klassy. That is the Kardashian trait.

      *barfs*

    • If by “image” you mean “giant ass”, and by “helping the less fortunate” you mean “letting dudes film it when they pee on you”, then you are correct. Also, I assume you are referring to some prostitute named Diana.

    • Randal, Randal, Randal.
      Such a discerning individual. So, tell us, when exactly did your frontal lobotomy take place?

    • Jack Ketch

      Uh, Randal … throughout is one word :)

      • Artofwar

        ….There was a time I suggested Randal be beaten within one inch of his life—now I see I have clearly underestimated the global benefit of suggesting going the full inch….Artofwar

    • Tyrone Davis

      Randal ,
      You are deluded or heavily medicated. You must be deluded to think that Kim deserves any respect for any of her actions. She is a supreme narcissist and nothing more

    • Randal(l)

      Give lots of respect to Kim for facing the peeing black cock and sucking it too with true poise and class. It’s her fat ass and fucking the black athletes that has raised her salary through-out the years, just like Jenna Jameson once did.

      Randal(l)

  2. JC

    I don’t want to nitpick, but I think you technically misquoted Khloe. She actually said, “Muuu-uuhhhhh muhhhh-mmmhhhh!” and then Han Solo translated for her.

  3. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    @BlackManUSA on twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come on a little higher. My shoulders are still dry.”

  4. it had to be said

    You see Kim at a charity event. I see Kim at a future gangbang. So much about life is the timing. Save that tinkle, boys!

  5. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    everyone is dressed casual while kim goes with “hollywood casual”. Put a fucking longhorns (thats right) t-shirt on and some sneakers fatass and try to be normal for once. Her bag alone costs more than all the children’s lives there. What a bitch.

  6. Schmidtler

    Why does fish have to even mention that it was a black dude pissing on Kim in that video? Does it matter that he was black? Would it have been less degrading if it was a spic, a mick, a kike, or a dago whizzing on her? C’mon Fish, it’s the 21st century, cut out the racist shit! Do not judge a man by the color of his skin, but by the contents of his bladder, and how he splatters it on a Kardashian!

  7. Donald Trump

    I hate this whole goddamned family! I mean – I really can’t stand any of them. They turn my stomach. Every time I go to the bathroom to take a shit, I visualize that I’m shitting on all those bimbo’s faces.

  8. Clarence Beeks

    I have no idea why they were on this show in the first place. I don’t know one person who finds them fascinating. Everyone I speak to finds them to be horrifying.

  9. SATAN

    Barbara Walters’ ear lobes are the kind of thing you’d expect to see in movies like “The Hills Have Eyes”

    I’m guessing most people have never really noticed them, but next time you see this bitch on TV, be sure to note the obnoxiously huge earring she wears to try and hide her flying saucer-like lobes.

    She’s also slowly becoming senile and clearly only got her big break in journalism cuz of her tits.

    • Schmidtler

      sheesh, are you really surprised, I mean c’mon, Barbara Walters has some sweet titties! besides, everybody knows she didn’t get her big break because of her tits, she got it because she is well known to take her deliveries in the rear, kwim?

  10. Venom

    Gone there to find a new boyfriend I see since no one in this country wants to touch her nasty ass anymore.

  11. angela

    She isn’t white.

    • stratacat

      but she is a bitch.

    • Help

      She’s half white, half Armenian.

    • Artofwar

      ….Let’s pretend her name is Kim Doe as opposed to Kim Kardashian, and she were in a room with 99 so-called real white females—let’s see if anyone could point Kim out as the only non-white b#tch in the room.

      To be fair, all the hoes in the room would have to be sitting down—because in Kim’s case the only indicator that she may not be all white is the size of her horse likened ass. Otherwise, this b#tch is WHITE….Artofwar

  12. Tiffany

    I really need some clarity, and I am sure you guys are the experts on this…

    Did Kim REALLY get peed on in her video, or do people just joke about that?

  13. Jimbob

    Is it just me or does it look like she was photoshopped into that pic. Seriously that’s how fake the Kardashians are.

    • anonymoose

      Yes it does look like she’s standing in front of a green screen pretending to be with those kids.

      • anonymoose

        …also, the kids seem to be singing, whereas Kim is just smiling (true to her character of being out of step with any/all sentient beings.)

  14. I’m really hoping it goes down like the time Al Roker didn’t even bother to hide his contempt when he interviewed Heidi and Spencer. That shit was TV gold.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT-m7hY7K4Y

  15. Hey Hick Fuck You!

    I really don’t see why people are blaming the Kardashians, or those Jersey Shore neanderthals, for that matter. We should all be blaming the stupid shit bags that actually watch those aweful shows. Seriously, the next time you hear someone talk about how much they love those reality shows, school them on taste, Urge them to get an education, then give them a good old kick in the crotch. This procedure goes triple if you see any of those Dugger twats.

  16. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey kids, I do nothing and get everything, you have nothing and need anything. Hahahaha, ain’t life grand!?”

  17. Vernon

    I’d titty fuck Babs as a

  18. anonymoose

    Did you hear Kimmykims say she is “most proudest” of something or other, to B Walters? Didn’t this waste of space even go to school?

    Yeah, I’m “most proudest”, too….

  19. boo

    I see Kim only has on about half her usual face paint. She must want us to take her seriously.

  20. Randal(l)

    I haven’t Kim so happy since the last time she was surrounded by that many black cocks….Tuesday

  21. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    jOHN
    Commented on this photo:

    COOL

  22. forrest gump

    don’t trust this kris jenner.
    SHE HAS DOLLAR SIGNS IN HER EYES!!

    (only kim can be trusted even with your eyes closed)

  23. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    “You the lady who drink the pee-pee. I saw it on the computer box.”

  24. The real deal

    If you ask me this entire show of so called fascinating people was one big joke. The overly exposed Kardasians, no talent Katy Perry, and egotistical Donald Trump. Then Babs had the audacity to throw murderer Amanda Knox into the mix and paint her as an angel??? Wtf! Clearly Walters is senile and needs to hang it up.

  25. Here we see Kim Kardashian taking numbers for, and being followed by, potential suitors. Note that the t-shirts worn by the gentlemen say “Spread the Joy.” For those unaware of the ways of Hollywood, “The Joy” is the nickname for Kim’s legs.

  26. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Emanuelle
    Commented on this photo:

    Chairity Publicity with 1500 shoes and 200k cars. I realy care as long as I get better of it.

    http://boycottthekardashians.com/

  27. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    Sow-A-Seed’s?? Do you know how many seeds this slutty cow has sowed?

  28. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a fucking poverty tourist of the very worst kind. Go fuck off and do something real you awful specimen of narcasistic, soulless, self serving, vile scum. PS I love the kids Santy Claus hat tee hee!

  29. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    This shot is the very definition of “laughing at you and not with you”.

  30. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    madmax
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever, Kim’s scanning the room for potential new husbands. ” ok boys enough of this inane hunger talk, let’s see how well you can handle a basketball!!” Worthless pig

  31. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    YeahISaidIt
    Commented on this photo:

    You two are black enough. Busy tonight?

  32. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    moopy
    Commented on this photo:

    small african child on the right

    says it all with his face

  33. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Govt. Cheese
    Commented on this photo:

    Kimmy just made this little Haitian drummer boy eat her poon!

  34. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Iknow
    Commented on this photo:

    In this pic, you can see how truly ugly she is.

  35. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Scab
    Commented on this photo:

    See what urine can do for you!

  36. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Rayray
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone has it all wrong, Kim went to Haiti to meet her employees

  37. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    umm
    Commented on this photo:

    what has she done to her nose? she is really starting to look like her mother. too far.

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