Barbara Walters Is Awesome

“This white bitch won’t feed us until people forget her wedding! SAVE US, SEAN PENN!”

You can tell someone who wasn’t Barbara Walters made the decision to include the Kardashians on her 18th annual “10 Most Fascinating People” special because she wasted absolutely no time ripping into them like the horny, dagger-clawed grandmother I oft fantasize about in my dreams. Via HuffPost Celebrity:

“You don’t really act; you don’t sing; you don’t dance. You don’t have any — forgive me — any talent,” Walters told the family.
“But we’re still entertaining people,” explained Khloe, as Kim chimed in offering her thoughts:
“I think it’s more of a challenge for you to go on a reality show and get people to fall in love with you for being you, so there is definitely a lot more pressure, I think for being famous for being ourselves.”
But Walters wanted to know about what Kim is perhaps most famous for — her 2007 sex tape with singer Ray J — asking if in hindsight the sex tape was a “good thing to have done?”
“I have made mistakes in my life, for sure,” Kim admitted as mom and manager Kris jumped in reminding her daughter with the obligatory comment, “You learned a lot from that.”

And, of course, like clockwork Kris Jenner attempted to sell that she’s capable of non-whoring human emotions and that crying wouldn’t immediately shatter her face turning her into the Red Skull:

Jenner told Walters the experience was “devastating for the whole family and you cry yourself to sleep for a few nights, then you hire a really good attorney and try to make something, you know, better happen.”

If Kris Jenner was doing anything those nights, it was throwing beef jerky down into the basement for Khloe lying awake wondering if she should’ve let two black guys pee on Kim because that would’ve meant double the money and double the famous. The math’s all there.

Photos: Splash News