Bam Margera is a Little Bitch

June 21st, 2011 // 507 Comments

Here’s what we know about Ryan Dunn‘s death:

1. He was drinking. Heavily.
2. He got behind the wheel of a Porsche with a passenger in the car.
3. He drove at speeds believed to be around 100 mph down a rural Pennsylvania road.
4. He has a history of DUI.

Knowing all this, Roger Ebert made the following comment on Twitter yesterday:

Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.

Pretty reasonable statement considering Ryan Dunn could’ve – and actually did – kill someone. Except Bam Margera is upset now thanks to the “millions” of Jackass fans/sycophants who made it abundantly clear that shoving a toy car up your anus and stapling your nuts is an excuse to drive like a murderous fuckhole:

- I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day and piece of shit roger ebert has the gall to put in his 2 cents
- About a jackass drunk driving and his is one, fuck you! Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat fucking mouth!

Look, to Bam Margera and Ryan Dunn’s legitimate friends and family, it has to unbelievably suck to lose someone you care about because he made a epically shitty decision that miraculously didn’t end in innocent bystanders dying. To you, my sincere condolences for your loss. Now, to Bam again, and the disturbing examples of blind celebrity worship who’ve flooded the Internet with crocodile tears because Ryan seemed “so nice” in heavily edited entertainment products or your roommate “so totally partied at Bam’s house one time” or you live in West Chester, etc., go fuck yourselves. Instead of being behind the wheel of a Porsche, if Ryan Dunn had ran down the street randomly firing a gun, which is basically what he did, would you still sit there and go, “But he was so funny!” I don’t care if you’re Blake Lively or the stockboy at Walmart, anytime you decide, drunk or sober, to put innocent people’s lives at risk to make your hot-shit car go “vroom,” some form of Darwinism takes place when you’re removed from the gene pool. On that note, if you came to this site expecting me to actually coddle a “celebrity” who could’ve killed some poor sap coming home from work, or your own family getting back late from vacation, you came to the exact wrong place, and the door’s right over there. (If it’s stuck, try jiggling the handle.)

Photo: Splash News


  1. g0

    only in American can a worthless loser like Bam Margera get rich off of doing absolutely nothing and having zero talent.

  2. so_edgy

    I’m so glad Ryan is dead. I’m upset he killed the passenger. Now, if the gay Pontius could only get hit by a train and the speech impediment Bam could only shoot himself I’d be able to sleep soundly tonight.

  3. LDee

    I agree, Ryan was a massive dickhole that night (and no doubt countless other nights, this was just the one when he was unluckiest). Bam was obviously reacting angrily to Roger Ebert when he was upset but Roger was right and Bam was wrong, things like this need to be said about this kind of behaviour from influential famous people, so yes, Bam was being a little bitch.

    I wish they would all disappear now anyway, nothing they do anymore is funny or entertaining, they always were just a bunch of spoilt rich kids breaking stuff that other kids can’t afford (rich before the MTV money I mean).

    Soon enough you won’t be able to drive your car without it breathalysing you first, then this kind of BS death will be over for the most part hopefully, as people clearly can’t be trusted to not get over excited like a child, driving a shiny loud expensive car too fast (pathetic).

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