Bam Margera is a Little Bitch

June 21st, 2011 // 504 Comments

Here’s what we know about Ryan Dunn‘s death:

1. He was drinking. Heavily.
2. He got behind the wheel of a Porsche with a passenger in the car.
3. He drove at speeds believed to be around 100 mph down a rural Pennsylvania road.
4. He has a history of DUI.

Knowing all this, Roger Ebert made the following comment on Twitter yesterday:

Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.

Pretty reasonable statement considering Ryan Dunn could’ve – and actually did – kill someone. Except Bam Margera is upset now thanks to the “millions” of Jackass fans/sycophants who made it abundantly clear that shoving a toy car up your anus and stapling your nuts is an excuse to drive like a murderous fuckhole:

- I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day and piece of shit roger ebert has the gall to put in his 2 cents
- About a jackass drunk driving and his is one, fuck you! Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat fucking mouth!

Look, to Bam Margera and Ryan Dunn’s legitimate friends and family, it has to unbelievably suck to lose someone you care about because he made a epically shitty decision that miraculously didn’t end in innocent bystanders dying. To you, my sincere condolences for your loss. Now, to Bam again, and the disturbing examples of blind celebrity worship who’ve flooded the Internet with crocodile tears because Ryan seemed “so nice” in heavily edited entertainment products or your roommate “so totally partied at Bam’s house one time” or you live in West Chester, etc., go fuck yourselves. Instead of being behind the wheel of a Porsche, if Ryan Dunn had ran down the street randomly firing a gun, which is basically what he did, would you still sit there and go, “But he was so funny!” I don’t care if you’re Blake Lively or the stockboy at Walmart, anytime you decide, drunk or sober, to put innocent people’s lives at risk to make your hot-shit car go “vroom,” some form of Darwinism takes place when you’re removed from the gene pool. On that note, if you came to this site expecting me to actually coddle a “celebrity” who could’ve killed some poor sap coming home from work, or your own family getting back late from vacation, you came to the exact wrong place, and the door’s right over there. (If it’s stuck, try jiggling the handle.)

Photo: Splash News

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  1. i’ve run a lot of accident calls, and one thing that’s stuck out is, it’s usually not the drunk driver who dies in the accident, it’s a passenger or bystander. the drunk survives cos their body was relaxed from alcohol. then as they’re on the side of the road balling their eyes out for killing their girlfriend/brother/buddy/complete stranger, i’m usually wishing i could take a halogen bar to their temple and do what the accident failed to do. sorry, but you reap what you sow.

    • Jack Ketch

      Right on … and I still think the whole post is the best ever.

    • Well, hitting something at 100 miles an hour will take care of that…drunk or no you’re essentially screwed.

      • Chris

        well said. Bottom line is that he killed someone while driving drunk. Thankfully it was not a child or a whole family. think about it………….

      • Wow

        Everyone deserve compasion, even the worst criminal, what was dunn s crime here ? partying and driving drunk ? Come on, who never does/did that ? (millions of people all over the world). Who s totally responsible 24/7 every day of the year ?? He was a jackass for christ sake !!!

        He did a stupid thing and pay it with his life, who are you to judge anything ?? and say, oh… hopefully he didn t kill a whole family or children, Quit the sanctimonious crap !!! Dunn is gone and you shouldn t be judgemental towards someone you didn t know, you weren t even there the night he was having party and driving home.. RIP dunn, his friend and all the other jackasses that d died just because they took the irresponsible, deadly decision of driving under the influence !! … “Forgive them GOD, coz they don t know what they are/were doing” !! Alcohol, is the reason why people do the stupidest things ever !!!

      • @Wow, you’re certainly right that he’s already paid the ultimate price for something many of us got away scott free with ourselves. so yeah a little compassion is the right thing. however, that tu quoque argument’s justifiable a lot more when the perp is say in their teens or early twenties. dunn was still playing i’m superman at age 34, and well eventually the laws of probability catch up with you. he should have known and grown..

  2. Headah

    Well said. Sad for a loss of someone so young. BUT if your rich ass can afford to drive a porche then you can afford a cab. I drive a 12 year old Honda accord and I can still manage ti afford a cab… Money can’t buy you smarts.

    • d2d

      hey I drive a 12 year old honda accord as well. i feel it necessary to show my acknowledgement. you know, like Larry David does to other Prius drivers in Curb Your Enthusiasm.

  3. Sarah

    Yup. Spot on. Ebert added a blog entry too, only apologizing for assuming it was a DUI before it was known that it was, in fact, a DUI, so everyone dissing him, including Perez Hilton, can go f*ck themselves. And I agree, Ebert is speaking for everyone who has lost someone due to some other SOB’s drunk driving. Thanks Fish!

  4. Joe

    “millions of people are crying” What? Who was this douchebag? Try having your cousin and his 12month old burn up in a car after a drunk driver slammed into their car and let me know how much sympathy you got for some fucktard. None, that how much. I couldn’t care less about this guy and his death is merely God’s way of say, “uh, no”.

    • V

      These guys have such dellusions of grandeur, which is why they do the stunts they do. They fancy themselves unbeatable, undestroyable and skilled. Luck is mostly on their side, and the whole point of the show is getting hurt, not avoiding being hurt. They’re morons.

      I’m sorry for his loss but right now he needs to get his shit together because he’s the worst of the bunch. He could be next. Instead of whining this should be a HUGE wake up call to him.

  5. decalex

    well said.
    And, Zachary Hartwell was the passenger who was also killed.

  6. Hugh Jazz

    How much would it cost to get Bam’s tear stains out of the interior of his Lambo?

  7. Joe

    A-fucking-men, Fish! *standing ovation*

    Dunn’s life was a series of bad choices, this one just happened to be the one that killed him. To those boo-hoo’ing over others’ comments, pull up your big girl panties & get over it. Too soon?? It’s amazing Darwinism didn’t kick in sooner.

    • Wykid

      Hear! Hear! This has to be one of the best comments I’ve seen.

    • Carrie

      Agreed. There’s no such thing as too soon–we’re a society of goldfish, we’ll forget whatever isn’t front and center on our computer screens within a matter of hours.

  8. Sarah

    As someone who lost a family member in a very similar scenario six weeks ago to this date (he was the passenger of a drunk driver), I’m with Fish on this one. If crashing your car while wasted is the way you choose to meet your maker, fine; but to take someone else’s life along with you is cruel.

  9. It sucks he had to lose his life over something so stupid, but maybe the idiot jackasses that worship these guys will realize that no one is indestructable and if you do stupid shit, you will face the consequences.

    • Wykid

      I never understood WHY they’re worshipped!? They’re a bunch of drug addicts, who do nothing but party, make stupid, dangerous, choices and kick each other in the nuts all day.

  10. Amen, SF writer! Too bad the morons at Jackass don’t take this opporunity to educate their fans about the dangers of drunk driving and have something POSITIVE come out of this tragedy (that thankfully spared the lives of innocent people). Instead, they continue to turn a blind eye to the fact that their actions make a huge impression on the kids who literally pay their bills by going to see their stupid movies and buy their crap. Yes, it IS the same as running down the street with a loaded gun and we are all free to express our opinion on the matter. How does Bam know that Ebert didn’t lose a family member or close friend to the hands of a drunk driver???

    • .unknown.

      how do you know that once they are done grieving that they won’t do this? he only died yesterday….

      • And in a few days this will be old news.

      • There are also many, many people associated with Jackass productions, including public relations people, who could’ve put something together to serve as a PSA to their fans who are probably blowing up the MTV website and other forums discussing this topic. Once again, the cast and crew of Jackass continue to use poor judgement.

  11. Kris

    It’s always sad when someone loses their life, but I don’t think Ebert was totally in the wrong for calling out Dunn’s drunk driving. Dunn isn’t the only one dead. His passenger is dead and that person’s family is grieving because of bad choices–choices that were totally preventable. That’s what’s more sad. That being said, it’s never “too soon” to bash drunk driving. Here’s a video clip that seriously, do not watch it if you have nightmares easily– if you think Ebert’s comment was wrong, watch this anyways– http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd-QG-Yx_Ho

  12. .unknown.

    Just because it’s true, doesn’t mean that you need to fucking say it. Obviously the friends and family of Ryan Dunn are grieving but shoving the apparent cause of his death in their face doesn’t make you out to be some sort of hero of the obvious. It makes you an asshole.

  13. greyshrimp

    I totally agree. What a dumbass.

  14. NTT

    I have a friend who is dying of cancer. Drs. don’t know if he has 4 months or 4 years to live. He went out and bought a BMW convertible with his hard earned money and he drives around in it to enjoy the last of his life. This is his dying wish: A fun car and sunny days.

    Then you read about this a-hole who had a fun car and just squandered the car, his passengers life and his own life. And you think wow. How ungrateful.

    And his “friend” BAM is a moron. He has build a career on being disrespectful of life and the people in it and then bitches and moans as soon as he hears something he doesn’t like. Boo f*cking Hoo! YOU LOSER!

  15. I’m having a hard time feeling sorry for Dunn’s passenger. He knowingly got into a car with a drunk driver, who happens to drive a Porsche (and I’m willing to bet money it wasn’t the first time they topped speeds of over 100mph), who also happens to be famous for doing stupid shit. If you go out with a dumbass who is doing shots and getting wasted and you don’t make the wise decision to be the designated driver, then you may as well have been behind the wheel as far as I’m concerned. They’re both guilty.

  16. Maren

    Superficial- best commentary I’ve ever read on this site EVER

  17. Christine

    I agree 100%. Natural selection.

  18. 8bitjeff

    Fish rules. Very well said.

  19. Reece

    Damn F**king Right! Well said. Well said!

  20. John S

    Finally someone with balls enough to give their opinion whether people like it or not. You need your on show on Howard Stern’s radio channel.

  21. FadedFortune

    I understand that Dunn’s decision is deplorable, but I also understand, that I cannot know everything that went on before any of this happened, such as, and i’m obviously making an assumption, I’m sure the others in the vehicle went completely of their own free will and were probably having a damn good time before this happened. I don’t condone drunk driving, but I’m also not a hypocrite, anyone that’s raging on and on about it, especially without full details, is first of all an idiot, but I’m sure there are tons of hypocrites too, anyone that’s left a bar/party with more than a couple drinks has essentially done the same thing, hell I’ve done it many times, I’ve just never been behind the wheel of a porsche with good friends goading me the entire time, obviously another assumption. Also, comparing this to someone shooting up a town is a bit wild, it’s also a bit wild to make a statement saying it’s miraculous that he didn’t call other people. Also, get off your high horse. You wan’t starfuckers to quit complaining and over-mourning his death? QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT! I’m not quite sure how you can’t see it from Bam’s position, but that’s fine, I mean if, forbid, anyone of anyone’s friend on here, makes a shit decision, you best not mourn their death because after all, they made a shit decision, which as we all know, erases all previous positive memories of said friend.

    • Juliapalooza

      Well, said, Faded. I thought the shooting spree was certainly a case of equivocation as well. That connotes premeditation. Apples and oranges, people.

      • Arvin

        Actually he’s saying “suppose he [GOT DRUNK] and decided to go on a shooting spree,” as in just like with drunk driving, going on a drunk shooting spree doesn’t mean you’re in control, but it does mean you WERE in control when you decided to drink, and you should’ve known better than to give yourself access to a car or firearms if you want to get shitfaced.

  22. Juliapalooza

    Ok, so I’ll probably get flack for this, but whatever. All the armchair PSAs and evangelizing about the dangers of drunk driving are insensitive given that the bodies haven’t even gone cold (no pun intended). Spare me the other arguments because I know precisely what it is like to lose someone because of a drunk driver; however, in my friends case, the driver of the other car happened to die as well. Does that mean that I danced on said driver’s grave? Nope. A life is a life. Dunn obviously made a bad decision…and suffered the consequences. Some people are entirely too brave behind the mask of a computer screen and a keyboard. I know that I, too, wouldn’t react too kindly. Losing a best friend is unfathomably difficult. The inability of society to place themselves in the proverbial shoes of another is deplorable.

    • Obvious Troll

      Your pun wasn’t really a pun. LAME.

      • Juliapalooza

        Do you need closed captioning or sign language? I said “no pun intended” because trolls like you would try to make it into a joke since Dunn and his passenger were burnt to a crisp. Fuckwit.

      • watson

        I think obvious troll is obvious. And stupid.

    • I’m not dancing on anyone’s grave, I’m just pointing out that the man was an asshole for doing what he did. Sorry, but proximity to the incident doesn’t change that fact.

      And by now he probably is cold, especially if they refrigerated the remains.

  23. deluxemickey

    Why wait to post to spare the feelings of friends and family? This whole stupid episode will be forgotten in 72 hours and the chance that any good that might come from it will be lost. Will there be any tits at the funeral?

  24. Lauren

    Drunk driving is bad. Noted. HOWEVER the autopsy results haven’t been released yet nor have the toxicology results. What if he had 2 beers and wasn’t even near the legal limit? You’re basically bashing a dead man on hearsay and don’t know 100% of the facts. Yes driving drunk is bad but what if that was your best friend? Or brother? Or son? He fucking died dude. Fuck YOU.

    • Lauren – It’s wild that people are have such a feeling of entitlement that they see nothing wrong with flat out judging someone based 100% on assumptions.

      Amazing.

    • OK. Let’s say he wasn’t drunk at all. He was still driving like a dumbass and reaped the consequences. “Awww..He was playing Russian roulette and somehow got shot in the head.” No tears here no matter who it is.

    • V

      Explain what other factors can produce such an accident. Was he being chased by the mafia? Did the car become possessed and speed against his will? Did King King fucking pushed the car forcing it to fly yards above trees and land on another tree and catch fire? No: combination of speeding possibly encouraged by impaired thinking probably caused by excessive drinking.

      “Yes driving drunk is bad but what if that was your best friend? Or brother? Or son? He fucking died dude. Fuck YOU.”

      What if he had killed your mom, your dad, your friend because he thought he was invincible and thought mixing speeding and drinkin sounded like so much fun? use your goddamned brains. He looks SHITFACED in the picture he posted on Twitter.

      Stop defending a person who was a victim of his own stupidity. Mourn his loss quietly if you cared for him but don’t expect this to not become a discussion of the dangers of IDIOTIC driving.

  25. .unknown.

    Calling out people for celebrity worship in a celebrity gossip blog. nice touch.

  26. Louis Winthorpe III

    hey Fish, 1. he may be a lil bitch, but i highly doubt youd say that to his face. 2. you and just about everyone comenting on this post are the real “Little Bitch” for piling on the s***talk so soon after a persons death (like no one posting has ever gotten behind the wheel after a drink or two). 3. STFU with your sermons dumba** and get back to doing the only thing people really give a sh*t you do, namely posting pics of celeb T&A! you DICK!

    • 1. I would say it to his face if he was being a little bitch. Margera can lick my ass.

      2. I’m going to go ahead and make two blanket statements: anyone who drives drunk is either an oblivious cunt or a selfish prick and a horrible person. Anyone who drives 100 miles per hour on a public road at night is either an oblivious cunt or a selfish prick and a horrible person. I don’t care who you are.

      3. If you don’t like what Fish has to write, don’t read it. Seems logical to me.

      • Any Guy

        “you wouldn’t say that to Bam’s face” – HAHAHAHAHAHA. wow, you really are a genius aren’t you. what a TOUGH guy! I know people in WC, PA. they all rip on that fucker and his white trash family because Bam thinks he’s THE MAN and he’s a smarmy LITTLE douchebag. fuck that little man (and you), any person with an ounce of testosterone has nothing to fear from that maggot – to his face or otherwise. what are YOU gonna do tough guy? punch your monitor? HAHAHA.

        now get back to what YOU do before my fuckin’ fries get cold. loser.

    • V

      Louis, stop thinking these guys are awesome. Go find real role models. Nothing to applaud here.

  27. HAIrony

    The guy got behind the wheel drunk. It was a HUGE mistake on his part, which of course he paid for dearly.

    But honestly, throwing names around ect won’t really help anyone. It’s easy to sit in your glass houses and point out faults of all others.

    How easy will it be to sit in that glass house when it finally comes crashing in around you?

  28. Ebert isn’t fat anymore and his mouth doesn’t really work.

  29. Bam Margera Roger Ebert
    Soupofdefish
    Commented on this photo:

    I haven’t seen one person cry. Where are these millions? Jackass was worthless.

  30. Why couldn’t it have been crybaby B.A.M.(BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER) in the passenger seat & driving & crossing the street? I’d still rather be wrapped around a tree than having a random chick shove a lightsaber up my ass. Still, sorry to hear about Dunn even though he messed up.

  31. Hugh Gentry

    Bam, go commit suicide and join your pal Dunn in hell. Nobody is crying for him you cunt.

  32. Turd Ferguson

    These Jackass lives are about being shocking and inappropriate.
    I guess its only funny if Bam and his mascara are making the comment.

    Lighten up, Emo.
    (And all the fanboys posting shit here and acting incensed.)

  33. JosieBelle

    Thank you Fish. This is exactly what people need to hear, whether they like it or not. Too many people choose to get behind the wheel after they’ve “only had a couple drinks”. If you’re a person who is furious at Ebert or Fish for calling out this behavior, maybe your anger will translate into remembering not to end up like Dunn the next time you’ve been out drinking.
    As for it being “too soon”? For the friends and families of the two men who were killed in the accident, their lives were ended too soon.

  34. elie

    perfectly put.

  35. Tom

    Dear SW,

    Please let us know right away when a close friend or family member dies tragically doing something stupid; we need to post comments about it. You won’t mind because you’re not a little bitch.

    • Minako

      I’ve had a friend die like that. And you know what? I found it hard to feel sorry for him then and I still do. He wasn’t just risking his life. He was risking the lives of everyone on the road.

  36. Tom

    Ryan went from having a car in his asshole to being the asshole in the car. It’s the circle of life, man!

  37. little stevie

    i know high-speed DWI is a rotten way to behave but a pocket sliderule suggests that he might not even qualify as impaired.

    from the california driver’s handbook:

    “If you weigh between 170 and 189 pounds:
    …And it has been 4 hours or less since your first drink and you consume 6 OR MORE drinks, your BAC is PROBABLY .08% or higher”

    you might as well rail against Porsche for making cars that go over 65mph or his friend for not calling a cab for all i care.

    get off your high horses.

    • No, my horse is of the appropriate height.

      Let’s say he was completely sober, for the sake of argument. That means, as a completely sober individual, he climbed into a car (with a passenger), chose to go over 100 miles an hour on a public road, and killed both himself and the other guy. I don’t see how this makes Dunn any less of an asshole.

      • little stevie

        Okay then, the 13.1 second lapse in judgement it takes to go from 0-106.2 mph in a Porsche 911 can cost you, your passenger, and anyone in the oncoming lane their lives.

        Assuming he saw a pair of headlights coming at him, the 911 has a 60-0-mph stopping distance of 105 feet.

        His passenger has an imdb credit as “Zachary Hartwell …. car stunt driver”

        It just took me about two minutes of research to put this accident in perspective. Reckless driving kills. PSA over. No need to overstate.

        tl;dr me.

    • V

      Yeah horse is of the appropriate height too, you see, I don’t endanger others EVER.

    • little stevie

      oh, and if they were endangering anybody but themselves, there would be a witness who actually fucking SAW the accident.

      another thing to consider before conflating this accident with something it was not.

      • And you’re an idiot. They were on a PUBLIC ROAD. As has been said, over and over, it was LUCKY that no one else was hurt. Someone could have easily been traveling along the road and been hit, it was only happenstance that there wasn’t.

  38. Elle

    Bam cried once because they locked him in the back of a truck with a snake…a snake…so, I don’t feel bad for him crying.

  39. Carly

    It’s not that either comment is wrong. There’s is something to be said of, “let the body cool before you kick it.” Jesus, maybe could’ve given it at least one damn day before you threw in your judgements. Idiots!

  40. CG

    Right on!
    Just a very real reminder of what booze and fast cars can do when you mix them assuming he was drunk.
    Too bad he took a passenger with him.
    To all the drunk drivers out there – This is how cool you too can be. Losers

  41. Hugh Gentry

    Ryan is well-dunn.

  42. Steelerchick

    I’m with you on that one Superficial writer!!

  43. Venom

    Dunn was a piece oh shit.
    He drove drunk and drove at a high rate of speed and did in fact kill another human being in the process.
    Ebert and Fish are 100% correct.

  44. Barking Bud

    “Ryan dun goofed.” -Cyber Police

  45. Happy Ha

    Look, plain and simple, your drunk, or even if you plan on drinking you don’t fucking drive. We all know this. We reap what we sow…. I feel for his family, loss is never a good thing..

  46. plb

    A true tragedy for his friends and family, but a lesson to all that you should never get behind the wheel drunk. How easy is it to call a cab? I wish his family privacy and peace in the wake of their loss.

  47. Justin Bieber

    When I get drunk I let one of my bodyguards drive.

  48. K

    As someone that lost their brother to a drunk-driver, it sucks for everyone. But fuck you if you get pissy that your “friend” got called out for being a completely selfish fuckhole. Where we’d you when he needed a driver? And why the fuck dont people outgrow the need to drink themselves stupid?

    • V

      because they’re depressed alcoholics that think they will feel better with drinking. Issues to be solved. Alcohol is not the answer.

  49. Andrea

    While it’s never ok to get behind the wheel after drinking “heavily” which is the words you chose, he wasn’t drunk. The legal limit exists for a reason. He had 3 beers and 3 shots in 4 hours. That wouldn’t even put ME past the legal limit let alone a man of his size. You’re MORE angry than you would be if it were anyone else which is exactly what everyone else is doing, treating them differently because they’re celebrities. Just report the story, make your jokes and move on, but don’t berate people who are grieving or people who care because he’s touched their lives even if not first hand. I’m neither here nor there on the story but you’re being hateful which is sad. I used to be a faithful reader. Been a good run man.

  50. David

    If he has a history of DUI hes most likely got an alcohol addiction, and I guarantee none of you idiots know what someones going through when that’s the case and he made a mistake because of it, I really hope his family and friends are not too concerned with what a bunch of little fucking losers like most of the people are on here think.

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