Balloon Boy’s parents are in some shit

The Superficial / October 18, 2009

Falcon Heene, now known as Balloon Boy until the day he dies, might be getting a new mommy and daddy. His parents Richard and Mayumi Heene are facing charges of conspiracy, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and false reporting to authorities after the Sheriff’s department raided their home last night to determine if the Balloon Boy fiasco was a hoax. It was. MSNBC reports:

“It has been determined that this is a hoax, that it was a publicity stunt and we believe we have evidence at this point to indicate that this was a publicity stunt in hopes to better market themselves for a reality show,” Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden told reporters at a press conference.
Deputies searched the home of the boy’s parents Saturday night, carrying away several boxes and a computer.
“Needless to say they put on a very good show for us,” Alderden said during the news conference Sunday. He said the first clues of the hoax came during the family’s interview by Wolf Blitzer on CNN Thursday night. The young boy said “you said we did this for a show” when asked why he didn’t come out of his hiding place.
Falcon got sick during two separate TV interviews Friday when asked again why he hid.

Since the incident, Robert Thomas, a former assistant of Richard Heene’s, gave an interview to Gawker that revealed Falcon’s dad was planning to use a UFO-like weather balloon to generate publicity for a reality show which he would then use to warn the masses about lizard people. I’m not even joking:

But he was motivated by theories I thought were far-fetched. Like Reptilians — the idea there are alien beings that walk among us and are shape shifters, able to resemble human beings and running the upper echelon of our government. Somehow a secret government has covered all this up since the U.S. was established, and the only way to get the truth out there was to use the mainstream media to raise Richard to a status of celebrity, so he could communicate with the masses.
As the weeks progressed, his theories got more and more extreme and paranoid. A lot of it surrounded 2012, and the possibility of there being an apocalyptic moment. Richard likes to talk a lot about the possibility of the Sun erupting in a large-scale solar flare that wipes out the Earth. It got to the point where he was really pressing me, saying we’re running out of time, we’re running out of time, the end of the world is coming. And we have to take necessary precautions to make sure that we’re not among the majority that’s going to be killed.

At this point we can only wait and see how much more batshit shoots out of this situation, but it’s safe to assume there’ll be charges coming for Jon Gosselin. No, seriously, I wondered how he could be so stupid to steal $200,000 from his joint account with Kate and now I realize it was to fund this entire debacle so he’d no longer look like the most retarded dad in America and women would want to touch his penis again. Occam’s razor, people.

EDIT: In case anybody missed it on Thursday, posted the Heene boy’s “Not Pussified” video after the jump. These kids are going to grow up awesome.

Photos: Splash News