Bai Ling is classy

August 2nd, 2006 // 262 Comments

I honestly have no idea what Bai Ling has ever done in her entire life and yet I feel compelled to post about her and all the pornographic things she does. A regular human being holds up a bottle of margarita and that’s it. Somebody like Bai Ling has to pretend to lick it, just in case we’ve all forgotten she’s the living manifestation of sexual deviance. We get it. You have no self esteem. Just turn to food or stripping like all the other girls whose daddy didn’t love them and let the paparazzi focus on real celebrities. Like, uh, my penis? He’s huge in Europe. And pretty much every other part of the world.


  1. blowdart

    bottle? that should have been a ping pong ball surely?

  2. Doxes

    What has Bai Ling done? Well, she was in a really crappy Sci Fi network original movie … she dated Chris Isaak for awhile in the 90s … and she and her boobies make frequent appearances on

    Other than that, I dunno.

  3. penguinwaddle

    Who the fuck is this gook?

  4. will

    who the fuck is bai ling, and why should i care about her?

  5. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Nothing like a bottle of margarita to chase that box of wine. Next, a can of cheese…

  6. Why is she famous anyway???

  7. Hara

    I was totally going to cite the sci-fi movie. Monkey king or something. Definitely qualifies her as a superstar. Seriously I cried: for the lost arts, for the poor monkey god, for all of China and their exploited heritage. It was beautiful.

  8. Call me crazy, but I’d like to get head from Bai Ling after seeing this picture. Weird. I don’t know why. I think I wanted to get head from her before too though.

  9. She got locked up in a mental institution back when she was in China…..funny, I never knew that I would ever agree with the Chinese government on anything until now.

  10. Tracie

    Gah! Normally, a somewhat attractive woman posing suggestively with her tongue sticking out would look like some form of “sexy”. But even her tongue looks short, pasty, and skanky! Blech…

  11. biatcho

    She’s nothing but an Asian Paris Hilton (or oriental, that’s much more PC)

  12. Also, it’s amazing how fast they can get this stuff on sale!

  13. Anida S. Hower


  14. Anida S. Hower

    Maybe it’s the girl from the Hedonistica adds?

  15. jrzmommy

    “Hey, GI, you come have dlink with me. Sucky Sucky. Ha ha ha. You pick color!”

    3–I just laughed so fucking loudly at your post.

  16. penguinwaddle

    Was she in Full Metal Jacket?

    I dunno, they all look the same to me.

  17. jrzmommy

    I think she just did my pedicure last weekend.

  18. MR_DG

    SHE’S FUCKING NUTS!!!! I REALLY DIG IT!!! I love reading what she does next!! I GIVE HER PROPS!

  19. She really dated Chris Isaak???

    Bai Ling, for you who don’t recognize her, is the reason that Celebrity singing show got to stay on the network as long as it did.

    Oh, and she looks like anime come to life which geeks love. It’s like Bjork – you don’t know why she is famous, but there are men dressed as storm troopers who are getting turned on this very minute thanks to her.

  20. Giggles

    Let me add another of the “who is she?”s to this enlightened discussion.

  21. nc72

    Dita Von Teese does it better than Bai Ling…

  22. PapaHotNuts

    Why is she always squinting?

  23. I bet she tastes like “whore”.

  24. spatz

    dont you dare compare this no talent moron to dita von teese! ever!

  25. Fugurself

    Great, the Chinese finally have their version of Paris Hilton. Soon she’ll be releasing “One Night in Bai Ling.” But with one billion people do the Chinese really porn?

  26. Justin Igger

    she pisses egg drop soup

  27. jrzmommy

    The makers of “The Margarita King” are now as good as bankrupt thanks to the dirty, spooge-stained tongue of Bai Ling–Southeast Asia’s Official Cum Dump.

  28. CoJo

    PLEASE POST SOMETHING NEW SUPERFICIAL!!! Just one more thing today – anything! I can’t stand the idea of seeing this fucking skank at the top of the page every time I come on this site between now and noon tomorrow!!! I’m begging you!

  29. Apparently Japan has TWO versions of Paris Hilton…the Kano sisters.

  30. “Bai Ling”, roughly translated, means “girl who exists solely to sustain poontang”. That’s all she is – a walking slice of gook ass who unfortunately has the capacity for speech. There are character actors who do nothing but commercial work, industrial films even, who have more screen time than she does. She is famous for being freakish and nothing more. And she possesses ninja nips that’ll seriously poke your eyes out should you venture too close.

  31. Italian Stallion

    This nuprin has a penis shaped like an egg roll and smells like duck sauce………..

  32. pinky_nip

    Q: How do you know when Chinese are moving into your neighborhood?

    A: When the Mexicans start getting car insurance.

  33. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Somebody please make a joke about beef and broccoli #69. Just thinking about someone making the joke makes me laugh and laugh. Then I sigh and wipe away the joyful tears with the panties of a freshly slaughtered hooker.

  34. PapaHotNuts

    For lunch, she had the “Creme of Sum Yung Guy”.

  35. penguinwaddle

    @ 23…
    cos she’s a gook! duh! :)

  36. pinky_nip

    Q: What happened to Bai Ling’s Chinese boyfriend when he ran into the wall with a full erection?

    A: He broke his nose.

  37. ImSuicidal

    Wasn’t she married to John Lennon??

    #16 I pissed my pants!

  38. jrzmommy

    You could blindfold her with dental floss

  39. Fugurself

    People get your heads out of you asses ,what happens to Bai Ling doesn’t mean shit!!!

  40. Italian Stallion

    “You there, round eye, you take picture me rick bottle me rove you rong tine”

  41. Moonbaby999

    She was in that movie “The Crow” with Brandon Lee, she looked like a freak, her lipstick went way past her top lip. Drove me nuts.

  42. Her rotten crotch is horizontal.

  43. DieRacistAsses

    I used to think this site was cool, but seeing that this site condones all these racist comments i.e. Quoted from the above comments: “Gook, pees egg drop soup, sucky sucky” being left up there. I guess this site is a good front for racist bitches. I don’t see you cowards saying “nigger,” anywhere but I guess it’s ok to hate on Asians?

    Racist bitches, if you can’t deal with races other than white, you shouldn’t be living in the most racially diverse country on earth. Get out of America. You’d think 911 taught you idiots some tolerance of differences in people. I guess for those racist comments towards Asians alone, U.S. deserved what happened to them in 911.

  44. @44 So solly!!!

  45. spatz

    i think theyre just trying to be funny. i would take everything you read here with a grain of salt. its very un pc here, and thats the way we like it. but yeah, these are the same people calling mel gibson a nazi!

  46. mrs.t

    She was also on an episode of Entourage. And geuss what? She plays a really slutty martial-arts instructor. Then she does someone’s nails while she prepares a #69, which is, of course, a beef dish.

  47. @ 32 stallion – did you just call her a nuprin?? i’d say that’s a fairly…helpful… thing to call someone. i mean if you called me a motrin i wouldnt really get upset.

  48. mrs.t


  49. BecauseYOUREugly

    Apparently, racial remarks aren’t moderated but everything else is. I used to like this site. I guess I’ll have to start my own. Really now, what does her being Asian have to do with anything? Mel Gibson hates Jews and the whole world can’t stop blowing up at him. Ridiculous.

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