Bai Ling is an idiot

March 6th, 2008 // 104 Comments

Bai Ling is rejoicing the plea bargain in her Valentine’s Day shoplifting arrest. You know, the one where she got picked up for stealing batteries and two Star magazines for a total of $16.22 and didn’t even try to pay for the shit on the spot. Well, Bai Ling is apparently pleased as hell with the outcome, according to the thumbs-up picture from her blog:

Theft dismissed and I am innocent!Yes!Yes!Yes!
I plead guilty today in court to ” DISTURBING THE PEACE “
Theft dismissed! yes! This is it! All the darkness went away, the sunlight really come back to me with a huge smile right now dance in my trailer Yes! Yes! Yes!
I told you truth is going to be told and I am innocent!!!

Except Bai Ling left out the part where she’s getting nailed with a $700 fine for, again, only sixteen bucks worth of crap. The AP reports:

In the plea deal requested by her attorney, she agreed Wednesday to plead guilty to disturbing the peace and to pay a fine and penalties totaling $700, city attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan said.

What an amazing legal maneuver. The next time I’m in trouble with the law, I’m getting my legal advice from Bai Ling. What’s that? The cops can’t prove it’s me if I leave prints all over the scene? I’m on it! Put my drivers license in the victim’s mouth? Makes sense. I better leave a Post-It with my correct address though. Don’t want them going to the wrong house. Ha! Could you imagine?

Photo: Bai Ling

  1. FU 13 & 49

    #13 & #49

    You must be the typical uneducated and obese American. You can go back and F’k your sister or cousin now.

  2. Bai-Cunt

    Herrrrro. This is Bai Ring. I ruv the rast story about me.

    Arso, I ruv to rick remon rorry-pops.

  3. #49

    I am perpetually educating myself and am excellent physical condition. I most likely have a better body and certainly larger cock than any nasty little asian you could yank off a rice pasture. Now close that little mouth around my nephew’s dick. He is 13 now and I want him to know what it is like to be a man. I figured letting a little yellow sex toy give him his first BJ would be a good start. Next year I will get him a real full scale (white) woman.

  4. fergernauster

    #49 is just miffed that Asians (minus this Bai-Ling creature) are currently poised to oust his/her fat American ass and take over the world!

    Honest question to Asian females: Do you have to shave/wax your body hair?

  5. Bai Winehouse

    Anybody seen Mai sister Amy ?

  6. WOw. What a moron. Pleading guilty to one charge doesn’t mean you are innocent of other charges…

  7. #54 Not So My hairy Darling

    hahahahaha we got all the nukes you ignorant whore!!!! Don’t forget that little factor in the economic equation. Just a reminder:

    “MIght = Right”
    (13,000 nuclear warheads for USA)

  8. sharpeidude

    Me love that judge….boom-boom, long time!

  9. fergernauster

    Correction: Asia IS the world’s super-power :D

  10. Chinaman with Rooster on His Head

    To Most Dishonuhbur Commentol Numbah 51:

    You bling shame to entile virrage. You must dlink spesher tea to get evur speelit out of you. You dumb fuck.

  11. Chinese slave labor and horrendous pollution rocks

    Fergermauster (german for “I have a small penis and cannot sexually satisfy european women and so must utilize small hipped asians”

    Qualify your idiocy. How is asia anything other than a place for cheap labor? Militarily they are a joke. (Moron)

  12. fergernauster

    Easy, lassy. E-Z!

    I’ll give you a nice, rich taste of Europe.

    In my jock cup.

  13. Grunion

    Any video of her “dancing” in her trailer? Cause I need a laugh

  14. 62. fergernauster ...bring it on gorlfriend (man toy)

    Is that all you got? “Suck my dick?’ Damn. I waste my time on your petty imbecility.
    And as for lassy, that would be the dogs (mutts actually in a mixed breed, racially confused mental coward like yourself) or females in your family” wife, daughter, mother.
    Please come back with something more interesting as I am itching (like the rash in that smelly baggy jock cup of yours) for a fight.
    Hurry up and and get off your knees, anal sex can’t be that healthy for your colon dude. Not to mention the stretching of your anus leads to seeping feces.

  15. fergernauster

    It’s “Lassie” the collie, not “Lassy”.

    I know you’re itchin’ for a fight.

    You’re in the eight grade, right?

  16. . fergernauster -seriously

    Don’t bother commenting on anything I say anymore. I would rather sit on the toilet in the throes of depression, constipated and hungover waiting to puke and shit at the same time all over myself than insult you. You are really dull. Goodbye. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  17. havoc

    No mor sucky sucky!

    You been here four hour!

    You go!


  18. Lidiya

    was she getting fucked when she wrote this? what’s with all the ejaculative “yes”es?

  19. Ript1&0

    That reminds of that song by Lard called Drug Raid At 4am. (“Oops, wrong house!”) Damn I haven’t heard that in a long ass time, thanks Fish. How many albums did Lard make? I think multiple, I will have to look into this.

  20. commish

    *slaps forehead*

    Bai Ling is Herbie Frog!

  21. Corven

    Bai god she’s dumb…

  22. bobshiddj

    i am curious. I saw this pic before on a celeb site called ‘SearchingMillionaire dot com’! Is that fake or real?

  23. Girl

    #49, i’ll feed you piss you stupid dip shit motherfucker

  24. Girl

    I suck dick to feed my nasty little asian baby with the deformed eyes. I suck and fuck cheapy cheapy. I only love you better than my sister and mother and daughter. I got cherry pussy. Hee heee heeee (I think she is blushing but how can you tell with that nasty yellow skin color?)

  25. I’am shamed for herpes steeling action

  26. hot girl

    Click here and start your own success story on You too can find true love online.

  27. N.Y. Ted

    Who the fuck is Bia Ling…sounds like the name of the kid who delivers my Chinese food to me on Saturday nights…?

  28. She takes attention whore to a new level. Isn’t the phrase she couldn’t even get arrested in this town? Guess she showed them…

  29. jstunnah

    700 bucks? i hope she can scrape up the cash.

  30. lambman

    Whateve this is the woman who discovered the cure for aging by cooking aborted fetuses in Dumplings….she can do whatever she wans

  31. GG1000

    Who is this person? Why is she reported on? What has she ever done to deserve any press coverage? Some kid at my son’s school has been stealing pencils out of backpacks; do you want to cover that? I mean, I know TONS of idiots; why her?

    Why is it that when an American is an idiot (Spears, Lohan, Garnier, etc.) he/she’s just an idiot, but when she’s an idiot, it’s because she’s Asian? Black, white, Asian, Christian, Muslim, whatever, idiocy’s the great leveler! It’s not to do with her genetic/cultural heritage people; she just happens to be a card-carrying moron.

  32. Barry

    Mmmm, not her fan. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “”
    last week. “She is already in relationship with a young billionaire on our site”, according to the officials of that site.

  33. That not Bai Ring up there, that me. I met her and her many fan on mirrionaire and cerebrity dating site an she stole my profile. I aways knew she troll. Damn thievin bitch. Now I stuck typin in vis slitty eyed way, I no happy.

  34. Girl

    #74, why the hell are you using my name you stupid red neck fat fucker. go back to blowing your dad.

  35. kathy

    #84 – aren’t you needed in the rice fields, dear? or a sweatshop? or the whore house?

  36. Ha haaaaaaaaaaaa #85 (awesome!)

    Dear Girl (how creative you filthy skinny asian slut), yes I am a redneck, but no I am not fat I am tall and muscular and probably more so then 99.9% percent of any of “your” puny kind. I would go blow my Dad but he is busy diddling my daughter. Now go back to your robot assembly line before I spray your little herb garden with Napalm. Remember Napalm? We used it extensively all over your little ancestral homelands. Then we turned your whole race into industrial slaves.
    And whores. Sucky fucky.

  37. Girl

    I got nice pussy. You not talky to me like that mean redneck man. I use kung mung fu on you white ass. Then I blow you real good for few dollars. Then I clean you house and make you nice rice dinner for you big redneck body. I like big white men. They have big dikky dikkys. Hee hee heee. (I guess when a yellow asian blushes the red from the surficial blood and yellow turn the skin orange, so yeah, the little gook turns orange in embarassment)

  38. K

    85, Kathy go back to working at McDonalds, your incest buck tooth family is coming through any minute now.

  39. KKK

    86, The only thing muscular is your turd you red neck fool. You got your facts wrong dumass; which is expected from a red neck like yourself. Majority of asians are making up the white collar professional work force while stupid people like yourself in middle america are working in the factories. And you’re doing a lousy job at that.

  40. Dollars and Sense

    March 22, 2006 10:47 AM
    “Last year salaries surged 40%, to an average of $160 a month… With the gap between wages in China and those elsewhere gradually closing…”

    This was from Business Week.
    I guess you are right Mr. KKK #89. Asians sure are rich at $160 a month (the big white guy almost pees his pants laughing. No problem though. His little asian sex toy will clean it up after she blows her master)

  41. cora

    wow…so hot

  42. lisa

    chinese girls arehot ,love them

  43. KKK

    90, idiot, why don’t you include employment stats for the U.S. Isn’t that where we’re at dumass. Another example of redneck dumass move.

  44. kathy

    um…KKK….isn’t that made up of all rednecks? stop picking on your own people. it’s not nice.

    #88 as far as myself being a redneck….hardly. i grew up in the city and am a city girl to the core. i’m an accountant and hardly need a job at McDonalds. although, i am sure you are working at Top’s China answering the phones and telling your customers “be bow ten mineh”

  45. Mister 90

    Ummm I think Americans make an average of like $2250 a month wages which is quite a bit more than $160 a month don’t you think? CAN you think?

  46. kirsten dunst

    she totally has the google search results up for her name. what an ugly vain idiot.

  47. Victoria

    Bai Ling… an idiot? No way.

  48. Yo

    95, oooooo, an accountant, wow, are we supposed to bow down to you? Do you really mean some lowly staff accountant working in some crappy firm’s accounts payable dept. Certainly you wouldn’t be able to work for any of the Big 4 as a CPA like i do. Of course not, b/c you’re a city girl reject. Now go crunch some numbers for you (1, 2, 3,…don’t hurt yourself doing so, we know how stupid you obviously are being a lowly staff accountant).

  49. Yo

    95, and i don’t even know what the hell that means, go back to talking jibberish to yourself.

  50. Redneck

    Let’s face it. We all know asian women love white guys. And we only love asian women as toys not real women.
    Asia is our cheap labor. And sex farm. And nothing more.

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