Bai Ling is an idiot

March 6th, 2008 // 104 Comments

Bai Ling is rejoicing the plea bargain in her Valentine’s Day shoplifting arrest. You know, the one where she got picked up for stealing batteries and two Star magazines for a total of $16.22 and didn’t even try to pay for the shit on the spot. Well, Bai Ling is apparently pleased as hell with the outcome, according to the thumbs-up picture from her blog:

Theft dismissed and I am innocent!Yes!Yes!Yes!
I plead guilty today in court to ” DISTURBING THE PEACE “
Theft dismissed! yes! This is it! All the darkness went away, the sunlight really come back to me with a huge smile right now dance in my trailer Yes! Yes! Yes!
I told you truth is going to be told and I am innocent!!!

Except Bai Ling left out the part where she’s getting nailed with a $700 fine for, again, only sixteen bucks worth of crap. The AP reports:

In the plea deal requested by her attorney, she agreed Wednesday to plead guilty to disturbing the peace and to pay a fine and penalties totaling $700, city attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan said.

What an amazing legal maneuver. The next time I’m in trouble with the law, I’m getting my legal advice from Bai Ling. What’s that? The cops can’t prove it’s me if I leave prints all over the scene? I’m on it! Put my drivers license in the victim’s mouth? Makes sense. I better leave a Post-It with my correct address though. Don’t want them going to the wrong house. Ha! Could you imagine?

Photo: Bai Ling

  1. Jennifer2

    I am just a bit curious…Her profile was found on millionaire dating site” m’last week.

  2. Ding


  3. Ding


  4. jrz

    Me so happy. Me ruv judge rong time.

  5. This Guy

    Possibly jrz will chime in with something more over-the-top, but you have to admit that her own writing is already a parody of Asian-speak.

  6. mamadough

    go go godzirra! and damn you #1! it’s bad enough we have to put up with your dumb as shit advertising and then you go and make sure your post is at the very top. and the dumb shall inherit the earth.

  7. This Guy

    Fuck! Too slow! hahaha

  8. Wow Amazing Guys Amazing Paris Hilton I love her so much checkout this Latest tape of paris babe she is doing something hard

  9. Jane

    Rook at me! I velly pity gir! Type brog! Now!

  10. Ted from LA

    There are billions of drop dead beautiful Asian women worldwide. Why, then, are almost all the famous Asian women in America uglier than hell? You could use that doctor’s face from Grey’s Anatomy to make monster cookies. I’ll bet Mike’s goat looks better than this thief.

  11. Clem

    Shame she couldn’t pay to get her butt-ugly mug-shot erased from the collective memory of all humanity too.

  12. kathy

    she is the epitome of stupid dink dink. this is why i hate asians.

  13. nipolian

    “All the darkness went away, the sunlight really come back to me with a huge smile right now dance in my trailer ”

    I fucking knew it!!!!!!…………..Bai Ling is the one spamming the shit out of this sight with the bullshit dating sites……….I knew I knew ya.

  14. nev

    This bitch is ugly with out that mask of make up.

  15. Mike's goat

    I’m hot and you fucking know it.

  16. Quinn

    What an UGLY CLOWN

  17. Anonymous


    Why are you curious? You’re here every fucking day posting the same fucking drivel over and over. Your sites are identity stealing sites, we all know it, so why don’t you take your sites and stick them up your worthless ass, you dumb cunt?

  18. I can’t help it… everytime I see her I think of that scene from Revenge of the Nerds where the football player asked the Asian geek “Do you know karate?” and the geek says “No”, to which the football player responds by putting his dirty jockstrap on the geek’s head.

  19. Am-Skray Jerk Off

    And now……my impression of Random Fuck # 6 & 8 “This Guy”: I’m so very jaded by everyone else. I *choke choke choke choke gasps for air hock hock hock* ugh…sorry, Pubic Hair Ball.

  20. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    I don’t know why but she looks pretty hot in that picture. Now if you excuse me, I’ll go shoot myself.

  21. Zim

    Her fine originally was much lower, but then the judge notice that her check had MSG and he got pissed off because he specifically told her no MSG.

  22. D. Richards (Filthified.)

    The truth came out? Huh? Bai Ling steals and the court decides to charge her with disturbing the peace; that’s like getting charged with a speeding ticket and your lawyer getting it reduced to a moving violation.

    You were still speeding.

    Also: Bai Ling’s IQ must be in the lower eighties.

  23. The Office Whore

    Who the fuck is that? Mimi?

  24. Lyssou

    The superficial you crack me up =)

    That really was a bad move on her part, but who is she anyway :p ?

  25. April

    Like #6 said Bai Ling is a self-parody. “the sunlight really come back to me with a huge smile right now dance in my trailer Yes! Yes! Yes!” Is she putting us on??? Or does she not realize that she’s a walking SNL skit?

  26. Bigheadmike

    just a hole….
    She is just a hole.

  27. The Beer Baron

    She is such a retarded FOB. You bring shame to all Asians, worldwide.

  28. I got a speeding ticket reduced to manslaughter once..

  29. The question then is:
    Who is the bigger idiot
    Me or Bai ?

  30. D. Richards

    #29 — Manslaughter? Frist, don’t have to lie us; You were charged with prostitution.

  31. Xanthia

    who the heck was her criminal defense attorney??? Britney Spears or Whanker Pete Dougherty?

    and don’t forget to add the cappx. $2,000 to the $700.00 fine for the great advise!

    shouldn’t she be deported by now?

  32. #31, yeah, but you would know that, you being there and all..

  33. IWONKY

    Is she using Gollum’s hand for the thumbs-up?

  34. Xanthia

    DAMN! “cappx” – make that – Appx.


  35. Dick Dicks

    #33? Do mean because I was there, purchasing your mouth?

    ‘No eye contact (Smack)!’ Remember?

  36. Auntie Kryst

    I could not understand most of her haiku, but I did laugh about dancing in her trailer. You know she means her real trailer, i.e. her home. This D list actress isn’t ever given an on-set trailer. When she is lucky enough to get work she has to change in the ladies room.

    Engrish is type hard.

  37. She’s so hot and sexy! Love her hot pics and videos very much.

  38. smalldickdickdick

    Dick Dick, not even Mikes goat would give you a second look.

  39. IWONKY

    post something else, please – ugly oozing from pic

  40. killer

    I’d like to suck her nipples.

  41. Devil: “Hey, where’s my thumb?”

    Bai: “Ha ha, I’ve got it.”

    Devil: “Holy shit, that is my thumb! You so crazy Bai.”

    Martin Lawrence: “Hey devil, why are you stealing my catch phrase?”

    Devil: “Why are you making a sequel to Wild Hogs, you evil fuck?”

    Martin has no comeback. Bai does a sassy snap with her devil fingers. Fin.

  42. IWONKY

    someone else sensed the thumb was evil…

  43. IWONKY

    I bet she could give you a fist job and an enema at the same time.

  44. D. Richards (Slob.)

    #39 — You’re a moron. Did you not realize that was I was buying Frist’s flapper?

    And if Mike’s goat wouldn’t put out, I’d just rape it, anally.

  45. Girl

    #13, go fuck yourself

  46. Asian Girl

    #13, go ruck yourrelf.

  47. #45 that would explain Mike’s and your rashes..

  48. Ugly skinny Asians (cheap sex toys)

    I must admit they are a populous pitiful race of scrawny black-eyed black-haired slant-eyed automatons. Fuk fuk suk suk. No wonder Japan is making all those robots. Hopefully they will next make sex adroids affordable with at least some ass so we can be done with cheap sucky fucky girls.

    Hey G I R L do you and your sister still give cheap blow jobs and anal? Throw in your younger sister for the same cheap rate and we have a deal (if you buy the beer.)


    how does this whore have a career? oh, yeah…the old suckie suckie routine.

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