Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas in a bikini is free to eliminate my pants

DeAnna Pappas is this season’s The Bachelorette and seeing her in a bikini almost makes me consider putting on a tux and competing for her hand in marriage. I mean, what do those other guys have besides looks, money and non-misogynistic world views? That’s for suckers. I’m willing to commit myself to one vagina in defiance of logic and nature for 40+ secretly unhappy, but it’s pretty much written on our faces especially after that time I got the clap from a stripper, years. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m an old romantic.