Avril Lavigne is weak

June 14th, 2006 // 85 Comments
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Comments (85)

  1. libtard | June 14, 2006 at 11:15 am

    First?

    Reply
  2. RichPort | June 14, 2006 at 11:17 am

    She’s puny, so he can’t be that tall either. And she seems to outweigh him, not gangsta. Her voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard, only not as creative.

    Reply
  3. perfectanglovesgodlol | June 14, 2006 at 11:17 am

    wow for avril saying that she didnt care about desinger clothes and bags she sure has a lot of luis vuitton

    Reply
  4. outtatheblue | June 14, 2006 at 11:18 am

    Finally, something for Hilary Duff and Avril to bond over.

    Reply
  5. perfectanglovesgodlol | June 14, 2006 at 11:18 am

    ok so maybe one luisvuitton thought i sawore but hey give me a break im on drugs :)

    Reply
  6. jane's eyre | June 14, 2006 at 11:19 am

    Uh, maybe he’s being a GENTLEMAN and carrying her luggage for her? I don’t know who this guy is, but if he offered to carry her luggage, then good on him.

    Reply
  7. pinky_nip | June 14, 2006 at 11:19 am

    They look like they should be working at Hot Topic.

    In other news, who the fuck cares?

    Reply
  8. slickwilliejr | June 14, 2006 at 11:19 am

    that purse looks like it could store a mexican family of 40 in it.

    Reply
  9. perfectanglovesgodlol | June 14, 2006 at 11:19 am

    i ment saw more like i said im on drugs and the good kind :)

    Reply
  10. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 14, 2006 at 11:20 am

    I’m starting to feel like the Superficial headquarters, a grandiose office building with a huge neon sign I’m sure, is based in Saskatoon, Canada. Because that’s where exiting stories like these are fresh n’ hot, hot, Hot off the press.
    Other than that, I’d hit it.

    Reply
  11. CoJo | June 14, 2006 at 11:22 am

    Are these two effing hobbits? WTF? Aside from not having all that much talent, at least they can say that they are the most famous little people in the world (for the next five minutes anyway)

    I’d rather look at Mariah Carey’s fat ass taking a poop than Deryck Whibley any day. What a strange looking little guy…

    Reply
  12. cricket0995 | June 14, 2006 at 11:23 am

    Are they engaged?? Looks like she’s got quite a rock on her finger.

    Reply
  13. sharkbite | June 14, 2006 at 11:24 am

    Eh, not impressed. She’s less annoying these days, but only because she’s not putting out god-awful music.

    http://www.wehateeverybody.com

    Reply
  14. CoJo | June 14, 2006 at 11:24 am

    It’s not that the rock is that big, it’s that her little person’s fingers are so small.

    Reply
  15. cruzin333 | June 14, 2006 at 11:25 am

    Is it just me, or is he REALLY STRUGGLING with those bags? His arms look like they might snap like toothpicks!

    Reply
  16. matt2585 | June 14, 2006 at 11:29 am

    He’s 5’5″.

    They are engaged.

    He used to date Paris Hilton. What does that say about Avril, that a guy can go from Paris to Avril in one move?

    Did his parents really write the name “Deryck” on his birth certificate, or did he do that to himself later in life?

    Reply
  17. PapaHotNuts | June 14, 2006 at 11:29 am

    Wow, she must feel good to know that if she were attacked, this guy could really defend her. If they were attacked by an infant, or maybe a parakeet. Yea, that guy could probably kick a parakeet’s ass. If the parakeet only had one wing and was still in a cage. And blind, or already dead.

    Reply
  18. matt2585 | June 14, 2006 at 11:30 am

    He’s like a short… whoever that kid is on One Tree Hill. The popular one, not the snobby one. Anyway, Deryck looks like him, only smaller.

    Reply
  19. sweetcheeks | June 14, 2006 at 11:30 am

    I found Avril Lavigne passed out under a bridge at 31st and Main, and two hobos were taking turns urinating on her. I’m pretty sure it was her, because she smelled like a Canadian and was muttering the lyrics to “sk*er boi” while crying. And she had black nail polish on and nobody cared who the fuck she was.

    Yeah, it was probably her.

    Reply
  20. reptilicus | June 14, 2006 at 11:31 am

    The headline should read:

    Avril Lavigne is a stupid cunt that no one cares about anymore

    There. Next story please.

    Reply
  21. jane's eyre | June 14, 2006 at 11:34 am

    16

    Ha ha, I knew a guy once who spelled his name Geph (for his “stage” name). Yeah. That’s right.

    We’re not friends anymore.

    Reply
  22. bluemalibu | June 14, 2006 at 11:34 am

    Maybe it’s just the snaggle teeth, but I think Avril looks alot like a German Shepard. More so before all the bleach, but she’s very Rin Tin Tin.

    Arf.

    Reply
  23. Dr.Rokter | June 14, 2006 at 11:37 am

    If you kicked the shit out of him and stole the adhesive Care Bears tattoo off his left arm, would that mean you had to carry her bags in his place?

    Reply
  24. Jacq | June 14, 2006 at 11:37 am

    To her credit, Avril is lugging around that GINORMOUS rock.

    He looks like a total pussy trying to even lift that bag. He should have just pushed the suitcase down the steps.

    Reply
  25. chanel_bear | June 14, 2006 at 11:41 am

    somebody needs to show avril the positive correlation between her look getting more “girly and designer”, and her declining record sales. somebody should also tell her she’s ugly.

    Reply
  26. BigJim | June 14, 2006 at 11:42 am

    Hey, quit ragging on the way Canadians smell.

    If all you ever ate was seal meat then you’d smell funny too. And my polar bear underpants are dryclean only, so I only change them once a week.

    Reply
  27. MrWonderPants | June 14, 2006 at 11:43 am

    Shit – now OshGosh owns “Hot off the press”.

    My high school buddies and I are still mourning the loss of “word on the street”.

    Reply
  28. BigJim | June 14, 2006 at 11:43 am

    I look at that guys arms and I think he’s on the “Body by Smack” fitness program.

    Reply
  29. jennifer11 | June 14, 2006 at 11:44 am

    she looks as if she is smelling a particularly gruesome fart, doesn’t she?

    ~j.

    Reply
  30. reptilicus | June 14, 2006 at 11:44 am

    OMG!11111111 im frum canaduh. i smell liek fish adn beer!1 LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!11111

    ROTFNWCA!!!!!!111111111111111111111111111111*

    * rolling on the floor naked with clay aiken

    Reply
  31. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 14, 2006 at 11:46 am

    27 – Hey, Mr Wonder Pants, you can’t say “high school buddies”, I own that too.

    Reply
  32. jane's eyre | June 14, 2006 at 11:46 am

    23
    That tattoo DOES look awfully florescent, doesn’t it?

    Reply
  33. reptilicus | June 14, 2006 at 11:46 am

    P.S. was it these hobos that were pissing on her? (NSFW)

    http://themot.org/gallery/d/3918-1/BumLove.jpg

    Reply
  34. xAgonyxScenex | June 14, 2006 at 11:46 am

    she used to be hot…what the hell happened!!!

    Reply
  35. chanel_bear | June 14, 2006 at 11:47 am

    #26

    Way to go BigJim, sticking up for us Canadians!

    Though I don’t like seal much….I prefer Moose.

    Reply
  36. RichPort | June 14, 2006 at 11:47 am

    I hope they do not marry. Unless of course they move to the African jungle where those Pygmy people live. Little people have little kids who grow up to have height complexes, and are generally extremely short acheivers. I don’t want my tax dollars paying for therapy for yet another damn foreigner.

    Reply
  37. PapaHotNuts | June 14, 2006 at 11:47 am

    Is that Neil Patrick Harris?

    I’m kidding. There is no way I would insult NPH. NPH is a god.

    Reply
  38. Fisher55 | June 14, 2006 at 11:57 am

    on one tree hill, who’s the Popular One and the Snobby One?

    In my book Lucas is the girly one and Nathan is the fugly one

    Reply
  39. Fawlty | June 14, 2006 at 12:01 pm

    My God, this is a boring “story”. It would be more interesting to hear more about this dwarf convention they’re going to, than just see them leave for it.

    Reply
  40. sweetcheeks | June 14, 2006 at 12:03 pm

    NO, those WEREN’T the hobos!!! That was my grandfather and my uncle and some dude I don’t know. And I don’t want to talk about it. And where the hell did you find that picture?

    Also, why would one assume that “smelling like a Canadian” is a bad thing? Canadians smell nice, like pine trees and dark beer.

    Except for Celine Dion, who smells like diarrhea. Because of her firecrotch. She doesn’t count.

    Reply
  41. reptilicus | June 14, 2006 at 12:05 pm

    My God. Now that would be a story I would enjoy reading about on the Superficial…

    ‘Celine Dion has explosive diarrhea while shopping’

    Reply
  42. MeanNate | June 14, 2006 at 12:06 pm

    Pfft… She could probably afford two of ‘em.

    She looks kinda constipated. That or the sun’s in her eyes… but I like to think of her little dung bunker. That’s me.

    Reply
  43. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 14, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    It’s not that Canadians smell bad – it’s their pointy eyes and bobble-heads and tiny, tiny penises that piss me off.

    Reply
  44. Chicagoboy | June 14, 2006 at 12:14 pm

    Those Canadians better not even fart or we will come up there and kick their Canuck asses! And most of them are half-French so you know they’ll roll over and surrender the first chance they get.

    Reply
  45. superstar26 | June 14, 2006 at 12:15 pm

    Wow she is a snot.

    Paris Hilton carries her own bags.

    http://www.notinamillionyears.com

    Reply
  46. reptilicus | June 14, 2006 at 12:18 pm

    “And most of them are half-French so you know they’ll roll over and surrender the first chance they get.”

    U FAIL

    Reply
  47. Jacq | June 14, 2006 at 12:19 pm

    #45 – You have to carry your own bags when they’re under your eyes.

    Reply
  48. tits_on_snack | June 14, 2006 at 12:32 pm

    On the top of the list of reasons why Avril Lavigne is a douche, is the fact that in every single one of her music videos there’s some dude approaching her and she pushes him.

    “Wait, I know. In this video, I want like, a guy, and he comes up to me and starts hitting on me, like, right in front of his girlfriend, and like, I shove him away!!!”

    In other news there’s that ugly designer bag. I’m pretty sure “designer” is a euphamism for “ridiculously bulky and hideous”.

    Reply
  49. waterranger | June 14, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    haha smells like a canadian. I’m a canadian, and I can attest that Canadians ALSO smell like maple syrup :)

    I once had an american tell me that I looked american, and she was impresses that I spoke English so well. Seriously, I am Canadian, not a friggin ESKIMO.

    Reply
  50. waterranger | June 14, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    Oh, and I am ashamed that Avril Lavigne is Canadian.

    Reply

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