Avril Lavigne is an amazing human being

September 7th, 2007 // 214 Comments
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If you can read Avril Lavigne’s latest interview with Q Magazine without wanting to head butt your monitor then you’re a stronger person than I am. Because I read this thing and all I wanted to do was start head butting monitors.

On dealing with her incredible success
“Selling 24 million albums hasn’t really affected me, but it has changed things. I can’t walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won’t get hassled. But that’s OK. I was born to do this, and so I’ve learned how to cope.”

On her competition
“Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I’m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It’s good if you’re not easily ignored. And I’m not.”

On her generosity
“I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’ I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers,’ especially if they don’t make much money.”

On her polarizing personality
“People love me and people hate me, but I’m comfortable in my own skin and that’s what counts. And anyway if you do hate me, you’re the loser, not me.”

Wow, what an amazing person. When that “hurricane thing” happened Avril filled boxes with crap and told her assistant to “take it to Katrina.” The name of a hurricane. And she also likes to give stuff to her employees who don’t make much money. I hear they were going to give her a humanitarian award but she was disqualified because they said it wasn’t fair to the other nominees. Sometimes I get her confused with that Jesus character from the Bible because they’re so similar.

superficial

  1. I hate people

    What a horrible worthless twat.

    She piles old shit in boxes and orders her assistant to “take this to Katrina”… WOW, I mean really… WOW. I can’t even digest that kind of selfless generosity. Mother Theresa must be so embarrassed that she wasn’t more like Avril Lavigne when she was alive.

    Now listen you worthless little white trash skank if your employees don’t make very much money maybe you should give them a RAISE you mentally disabled stench weasel. Jesus fucking Christ how can someone be this vapid and brainless. Honestly I think she’s pretty much a copy of Paris Hilton (who her douche husband dated which says a lot) just with a different clothing style.

    This little fowl smelling midget skank couldn’t defend herself against a squirrel and she thinks she’s fucking “tough” that is fucking saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Mary Kate Olsen could probably kick her ass. And why the fuck is she always making underhanded comments about her peers.

    And the vile little whore is about as punk as Ashley Simpson and she’s a humiliating embarrassment to Canada (trust me). She is the least eloquent person ALIVE. Even when she’s 30 she’ll sound like she’s 12, she is clearly a VERY, VERY unintelligent person.

    And from the embarrassing drivel that spews from her filthy little mouth its clear the girl has never gone through any real tragedy or character building experiences. She once whined about being hypoglycemic and blames her moodiness on it (yeah that horrible life threatening disease that kills so many people… wait no wrong horrible disease Hypoglycemia the lame ass thing that happens to you when you just need to eat a little fucking food on a regular basis). Newsflash whore everyone gets cranky when they don’t eat, it’s your bodies way of reminding your miniscule pea brain that it needs FOOD TO LIVE.

    And she can’t go anywhere without heads turning????? Right. Problem is it’s not in the oh my god she’s so amazing and so adored kind of way but more that’s because people feel sorry for the mentally retarded girl whose all dressed up to go trick or treating in fucking July. Most people have no idea who she is and probably just wonder why some homeless mental patient midget is crashing their little Hamptons party.

    So in conclusion my filthy little witch faced midget troll all I can say is life will soon hand you a shitload of karma. I’m guessing maybe six boxes worth of humiliating, shameful, horrifying, god awful misery and since you sold your soul for fame the best part is that us losers we’ll see every last juicy detail of your train wreck bound celeb life right here on the Superfish.

    So as always Celeb: 0
    Real people: 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

    We win
    You lose
    Worthless vile attention whores

  2. Miss Skyline

    What a self-obsessed, conceited little twatwaffle.

  3. LadyJane

    Dudes, I farted in homage to Avril and it smells like just like her last album.

  4. D. Richards

    Holy Fuck. What an asshole this bitch is. I’m sure all of the black people left homeless by Katrina really enjoyed all of Avril’s “punk-girl” nonsense clothing. I like the fact that she gave her six boxes of trash to her assistant to send away. Yeah, you really care. I win, because I’ve never bought one of her shitty albums, that she fucking co-wrote. She’s a “product”. She even admits it in the interview. Fascinating. I bet that her employs (?) feel like Robin-Hood’s blinded servant; getting a loaf of stale bread once every few days. Elated to be in the company of someone born to “rock”.

  5. LouLou

    Hey, well, at the very LEAST she could’ve taken the boxes to Katrina herself and not make someone else do it. Lazy.

    Best thing about not being Avril Lavigne? Not having to come down off that pedestal, cause boy, that’ll be a fall that will hurt!!! And you know it’s going to happen someday and when it does — BAM!!!

  6. curlyfrie

    i liked her but now eww!! i mean are you kiddin me she is not no princess!!

  7. T

    Plagerism part 2.
    Listen to Peaches tune “I’m the Kinda” and Av’s “I Don’t Have To Try”.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0d2z-dWZmE

    Here’s hoping Peaches laughs all the way to the bank. And as for tough? My bet’s on Peaches being a wee bit harder.

  8. boo

    Apparently we are all losers

  9. Bernadette

    The Avril Comment …… amazing.

  10. wedgeone

    #57 – 58: A-HA-HA-HA!! ROTFL!
    I was actually thinking that maybe one of her “highly paid assistants” put a bloody stool in her hair mousse, but your comments were good also!

    #101 – someone has bitterness issues. I loved every word of it. ;^)

  11. Mama Pinkus

    Something is really amiss with this gal. Either her real self image is so desperately poor it makes her project and say some truly asinine stuff or she really is one seriously stuck up bitch. Either way, she is in dire need of a talented handler.

  12. Chainsaw

    “Take it to Katrina!” ????

    Take it to a hurricane? This dumb twat doesn’t even know where the hurricane happened. She probably thinks Katrina is a city in “one of the states down there”.

  13. Frick!

    I was trying to not believe that she was such an a-hole because I admit, I own 2 of her cd’s and really like some of the songs on there…but what an A-hole!!Apparently she doesn’t even realize that she sounds like the biggest a-hole…”I filled 6 boxes of stuff (my junk) and sent my assistant (slave) to Katrina!” Whoooppeee! Forget money! I’m sure the people of Katrina would rather have your old neckties, socks, and other used crap. And she gives her employees her old stuff too…because they don’t make much money. Um, hello?! Who pays them?!! What a heel. I hope she isn’t able to sell cd’s or concert tickets anymore and has to live in the real world w/ the rest of us and see what a “giver” she really was/is. A-hole! I won’t be helping to support her ass anymore by buying her cd’s!

  14. is Katrina a place?

  15. Frick!

    …and she really thinks people think she’s tough?! Ha! I always thought she was just one of those goofy, harmless punk girls and knew it. What a dickhead.

  16. Avril Lavigne…? She still exists? Who was she anyway…oh yea. She was makin some kinda sounds 3 years ago.

  17. slsls

    I really wanted to give to katrina residents so i sent them some cement to rebuild their levies. How generous am i.

  18. BunnyButt

    You know, instead of handing out cash to homeless people on the streets like I usually do (even though I’m not rich and/or a celebrity), I’m going to carry around my old clothes and other used “stuff” from my closet to hand out instead. Avril has taught me that the poor people or others in need don’t need money, they’ll be just as happy with and grateful for my stinky old socks as they would be with cash to buy food or put a roof over their heads. Thanks, Avril! You’ve led me to the path of true humanitarianism! Now I can spend all of my money on me and feel no guilt or shame!

  19. Katy

    She could be the next Miss Teen South Carolina!

  20. LOL

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  21. Scooter

    she’s nasty, she can’t sing and her music is corny….what a ridiculous bitch..

  22. I usually defend stars. Avril needs to drop face first like that reporter on omgblog.com., and never sing again. SHe is so fake. SHe is punk but then in vogue ( i love it hated her). I had to say to one girl ooh im paying attetntion like you wanted nice bag and ring made out of duct tape and multi colored ahir now your like pink and avril.

  23. Wicked Wendy

    You love yourself
    you think your grand
    you go to the movies
    and hold your own hand
    you put your arms around your waist
    and when you get fresh
    you slap your own face!

    KAPOW

  24. She is giving major Tanya Harding in these pics.

  25. jrzmommy

    i think she’s really pretty. i’ve tried to do my hair like that before.

  26. heavenScent

    #101 ROTFLMFAO!!!!

    hey hey avril
    we dont like your music
    no way no way
    we know your just a poseur
    hey hey avril
    you got an ugly boyfriend

    hey hey avril
    we know you’re just a stuck up
    go away go away
    you really are a fuck up
    hey hey avril
    learn to fucking dress right!

  27. 8bitmessiah

    what do you want she didn’t even finish high school how smart can she be

  28. someone superficial

    what a dumb@$$. i love how she thinks she’s being all sincere and genuine when in reality she comes off sounding like a shallow, insincere b!tch. ironic thing is she thinks the joke’s on us — when it’s actually on her.

    she is the definition of a manufactured star.

  29. lux

    She makes me need Antibiotics, I think I might catch elephac*ntitis just reading this.

  30. tim

    Long time reader, first time commenter. Lord, what an asshole.

  31. ninjarobot

    On her competition
    “Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I’m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It’s good if you’re not easily ignored. And I’m not.”

    if she is so “hard-core” and “punk” why the hell is kelly clarkson her competition?

    side note:
    avril could never in a million years sing her way to first place. not even in a jr. high talent show. kelly clarkson probably doesnt even who avril is.

  32. Pikachelsea

    Why won’t she die? If people hate you then they’re the loser? wtf, is she in 2nd grade? Awesome logic.

    I would give anything to be the one who ends Avril Lavigne.

  33. krypto

    RAT FACE

  34. Autonomous

    no anvil, you’re most definitely a loser and Ive managed to ignore you for years… until today.
    I hate you, but atleast your interview was a good laugh.
    get sum scoolins silly

  35. CanYouBelieveThis

    Ex-mallrat thinks she’s the next coming. As someone commented, enjoy it while it lasts. Makes me embarrased she was born in my country.

  36. Giomon_Rocks

    Please somebody–ANYBODY–cut this fucking bitch’s head off. She is too ridiculous to be allowed to live.

    WOW #101- You are my hero

  37. zebedee

    My god! What a stupid cunt.

  38. Wicked Wendy

    135……..Sorry, but you can have her back now…she’s not wanted here…

  39. Wicked Wendy

    and…btw…..is it just me or does her hair look like she’s trying to be the Muntsers mom or the bride of frakenstein??? WTF? Can’t this bitch afford a stylist?…..OH wait, that’s right…all her employees are poor since she a fucking tight wad……

  40. roughdaddy

    jesus if this chick didnt have whats between her legs no guys would talk to her…

  41. Frybread

    I see she has not grown up. I wish she would just go away.

  42. B

    When raw sewerage isn’t pouring out of her mouth, this girl is pretty damn cute.

  43. She’s just dumb. I think she dropped out of Junior High. Seriously.

  44. Anna

    Oh come on! That’s some funny shit! I think it’s classic! She just managed to piss millions of people off in one interview! If that isn’t talent, then I don’t know what is!

  45. dutchschultz

    katrina’s not even a place, it’s the name of a hurricane, so basically if she packed all these boxed and wants to give them to katrina, she’s donating to the hurricane!!!! she’s evil!!!

  46. Brinkman

    She’s so punk! I want to blow my nut all over her hardcore face!

  47. nikkifickletavi

    I think a female version of a *douche-bag* is a catheter, you know, the thing they stick up your hee haw so you don’t have to get out of bed to pee when you’re sick or just really really lazy.

    Oh yeah, Avril, does she think she’s pretty? really? her? My catheter is better looking. Maybe she should get a nose job, it certainly can’t hurt the singing ‘voice.’

  48. Bank

    It’s unbearable when people like her that are NOTHING think that they are EVERYTHING.

    She’s short, ugly, stupid and useless. And that’s on a good day.

  49. Cardinal Ximenez

    Her hair looks like the bride of frankenstein stuck her head out of a moving car and was hit by a tomato.

    She’s so ATTITUDE, so fake attitude. Love the glam dress and the skull nails. She’s tryign way to hard to prove a point. I’d love to see a celebrity death match between her and Amy Winehouse

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