Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger Are Engaged. Of Course, I Totally Knew That Was Gonna Happen

August 22nd, 2012 // 47 Comments
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Avril Lavigne Bikini Deryck Whibley Back Together
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Unless you posses incredible journalistic skills like myself (Titty photo?), you probably had no idea that Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger of Nickelback have been secretly dating for months or that they just took a step closer to eventually birthing a Voltron of Shitty Music. People reports:

Lavigne, 27, and Kroeger, 37, first got together in February to co-write a song for Lavigne’s upcoming fifth studio album.
“A romantic relationship blossomed as they spent time writing together,” a Lavigne pal tells PEOPLE.
On Aug. 8, Kroeger popped the question, presenting Lavigne with a 14-carat diamond sparkler.
“He makes her so happy,” a family source tells PEOPLE. “Both of their families could not be more excited.”

Prior to Nickelback, Avril was dating Brody Jenner and before that she was married to Sum 41′s Deryk Whibley. So if you’re wondering what it is Avril Lavigne even does anymore, it’s bang the douchebags in Hollywood Mila Kunis and Katy Perry might not get around to. They only have so many vaginas.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. Whoopi

    I didn’t know Canada allowed same suck Marriage.

  2. ace11

    Wow..tough blow for Jenner

    Sure he is devestated (Not)….probably out with one of his many blondes

  3. Emma Watson's Vagina

    You`re no one in the rock industry if you did NOT fued with Courtney Love or if you got engaged or married to Avril Lavigne.

  4. Cock Dr

    He gave her a 14 carat rock…..I’ll assume that the band Nickelback is making incredible money and this gal must be able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
    Good luck…yer gonna need it.

  5. SpaceGeneral

    Yes, yes, yes .. I agree with most comments but if I was a rockstar and could fuck anything I want AND Avril Lavigne … why not. That’s what pre-nups are for.

    I’d do her for a popsickle!

  6. If you enter them both on Pandora, it melts.

  7. Stupid

    At least she’s sticking to marrying Canadians. Smart girl not wanting to marry inbred Americans.

    • JC

      This chick grew up in the Canadian backwoods in a very religious family. The chances are very good that her brothers and sisters are also her cousins.

  8. I must admit, I didn’t see this coming. Though, to be fair, the last time I thought about Avril Lavigne was when I was driving through the bustling metropolis of Napanee and remembering her playing with her friend’s big boobs. It was terribly awkward masturbating in the van with my wife and kids there.

  9. I approve this marriage, if only because it makes for a more convenient drone target.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      I’m sure Inmate2222323395 or some other fuckwipe will say something about Obama and Pakistan, but Nickelback and Lavigne have been on the kill list since the Bush Admin.

  10. Good for you, dude from Nickelback. I wish I was fucking Avril too. I’d snap that twig in half.

  11. mrsmass

    for all i knew, she was still with Jenner.

    so she’s knocked up?

  12. Lemme break out my Canadian tuxedo to wear to the wedding, eh.

  13. USDA Prime McBeef

    Nickelback sucks so hard that they even make Lavigne comparable to goddamn Ludwig van.

  14. We can only hope she does to nickleback what she did to sum 41

    • biff

      The Yoko Ono of Nickleback . What a claim to fame.

      • Dude, if she successfully rids the world of Nickleback, I will give her a goddamned medal and promise to never again mention how much “Sk8er Boi” blows.

        Because, seriously, fuck Nickleback.

  15. hijkmno

    i guess it’s true what they say…there’s a douche bag for every douche bag.

  16. Boy, Nickelback’s fan is going to be busy the next few days, thumbing down all the negative posts.

  17. Mandy

    Engaged after knowing each other for only 6 months? Yup, this relationship will definitely last.

  18. I heard Chad proposed 25 times… and each one sounded the same.

  19. j.j

    She has the body of an 11 yearoll girl and looks like a 27 yearold trying to look 12…she looks like his daughter,LOL they look extremely weird together shes too short for him.

  20. tlmck

    Great. now they can be hit-less together.

  21. EricLr

    Faux punk and faux metal, together at last!

  22. Carla

    Douchebags in love, how nice.

  23. Carla

    Justin Bieber as the ring bearer would complete the circle jerk of Canadian corporate music whores.

  24. lori

    Look at his face. My God. He looks so stupid. Who listens to Nickleback? That is serious noise pollution. She always looks like death warmed over with rotting teeth.

  25. Avril Lavigne Grabbing Girlfriends Breasts Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    her mother~

  26. “eventually birthing a Voltron of Shitty Music”…a fucking Voltron reference? I am the drunk in the back row of the comedy club that just yelled “fuck yeah!” . You are my Hemingway.

  27. Avril Lavigne Grabbing Girlfriends Breasts Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    How do Miley Cyrus, Anne Hathaway, Ginnifer Goodwin, and Avril Lavigne expect me to masturbate to them when they keep doing such awful things to their hair?!?!? Did they even ONCE think about *my* needs before they told their stylist to make them look horrid?

  28. Avril Lavigne Grabbing Girlfriends Breasts Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Button the shorts already.

  29. Avril Lavigne Grabbing Girlfriends Breasts Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks disgusstinggggggggggggg

  30. Avril Lavigne Grabbing Girlfriends Breasts Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    lovely bald pussy

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