Here’s What People In ‘The Avengers: Age of Ultron’ Might Look Like And/Or Punch

March 19th, 2014 // 7 Comments
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Makes you wonder how much faster her sisters could’ve killed Heath Ledger with all that power, doesn’t it? I know.

When you own an entire network like Disney does, you can use it whenever you want to shamelessly pimp your products however and whenever you want. Which is exactly what Disney did last night by pulling Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. to air Marvel Studios: Assembling a Universe, an hour-long self-congratulatory pat on the back peppered with just enough concept art to make geeks on the Internet predictably lose their shit over the Hulkbuster suit. But if Marvel thinks I’m going to just bend right over for this shit, they know me better than I know myself. Let’s get an apartment!

 

Aaron Taylor-Johnson Quicksilver

Here’s what Aaron Taylor-Johnson will look like as Quicksilver which I’m 90% positive is Joss Whedon‘s way of showing just how little effort was needed to not look like Bryan Singer‘s Kid Video version.

“What should we put him in?”
“I dunno. A shirt?”
“Good enough.”

 

Avengers Age of Ultron Hulk Black Widow

The Hulk and Black Widow in a scene that looks like it was lifted directly from the first movie, so way to blow our minds, Marvel. “Stuff you’ve already seen! Excelsior!”

 

Hulkbuster Suit Avengers Age of Ultron

The aforementioned Hulkbuster Armor everyone’s geeking out about because remember that scene in The Avengers when Thor fought The Hulk? They’re going to do that all over again, but with Robert Downey Jr. this time. The House of Ideas, folks.

 

And just in case this post hasn’t fossilized my penis enough, someone mashed together Batman and True Detective, and by someone I mean Jesus. Jesus made this.

Photos: Marvel

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  1. ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

    Ideas? That’s the shit that goes on in comic books all the time. This guy fights that guy (and nothing really happens, they just talk a lot) and then that guy fights this other guy (and nothing really happens, they also just talk a lot). And you know what? That’s worked for Marvel for 50+ years.

    It’s been a long time since my comic book days, and I didn’t even know about this Hulk-buster suit before. So, it’s new to me. And if it’s new to me, I would bet it’s new to 90% of the movie viewing public.

    Given that the first one was pretty good, I wouldn’t worry about this one too much. It will likely be fairly entertaining.

    Now, post some tits, bitch.

  2. Swearin

    I kinda thought maybe Ultron takes control over the suit to use against the Hulk /shrug.

    I wouldn’t have pegged Aaron-Taylor Johnson as QS, but I guess when your wife is the director/producer of the 50 Shades of Grey movie, you can have what you want

  3. “…an hour-long self-congratulatory pat on the back peppered with just enough concept art to make geeks on the Internet predictably lose their shit over the Hulkbuster suit.”

    It’s okay… My wife does the laundry.

  4. Am I the only one who notice Ant-Man at the very end of that special?

  5. …meh.
    …i’ve got way more to say about those x-men costumes on the cover of empire …for example: why is iceman wearing a jacket, and, you know, not made of ice??? why do i already hate that future sentinel? why would wolverine need chest plate armor type things? why is havoc, of all people, not wearing some kind of suit with a chest thingy? have i told you how much i loathe halle berry as storm and anna paquin as rogue? (and what they’ve done to the characters of rogue and storm in general) …where’s nightcrawler? …bishop, sunspot, warpath, and blink look cool, tho.

  6. Turd Burglar

    Most. Worthless. Post. Ever.

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