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Posted on Oct 17th
re: The Crap We Missed - Thursday 10.16.14 (16 comments)

It’s gotta be rough when Bette Midler actually looks better than you do now.

No amount of children could save you, Sarah Sanderson.

Posted on Oct 17th
re: The Crap We Missed - Thursday 10.16.14 (16 comments)

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus that is the gayest Johnny Cash impersonator I have EVER seen.

Posted on Sep 25th
re: The Crap We Missed - Thursday 9.25.14 (10 comments)

I’d stick a banana in that tailpipe.

Posted on Sep 24th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 9.24.14 (17 comments)

It takes some real brass to pretend you’re something when you’re really nothing at all.

Posted on Sep 24th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 9.24.14 (19 comments)

Oh Helen, you look the same as you did 20 years ago.

I wish that was a compliment.

Posted on Sep 24th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 9.24.14 (23 comments)

“How do I get out of this crazy job, Bill?”
“Cigars, Barry. Cigars.”

Posted on Sep 9th
re: The Crap We Missed - Tuesday 9.9.14 (23 comments)

The last thing you want to do when you get to Toronto is look like a fatter version of Rob Ford.

Posted on Sep 9th
re: The Crap We Missed - Tuesday 9.9.14 (15 comments)

Pretty much the only person alive who can do that without backlash.

Posted on Aug 26th
re: The Crap We Missed - Monday 8.25.14 (22 comments)

Looks like Ibiza’s in Madonna! Am I right, folks?

Posted on Aug 13th
re: Ariana Grande Has Rocket Titties Now (32 comments)

I never thought rocket titties could be boring… but they were… they were so boring.